I have a prom joke but the punchline is too long

i'm great at starting sentences, but @MollyBSnackin said I don't capitalize on it very well

Random thought:

I bet Do not touch is a scary thing to read in braille.

An angry and mean looking 3 legged dog walks into a bar in the old wild west and says:

I'm lookin for the man that shot my paw

how do you cut the ocean in half?

Use a Sea Saw

I wrote a song about a tortilla...

actually, it was more of a wrap...

What do you call it when a bunch of old men clap? Menapplause...

What other part of your body can drink Dutch beer?

Obviously, your Heineken!

Every time I go out to dinner with my dad, he always walks into the restaurant and shouts

Yes, we have reservations! ...but we'll eat here anyway!!

Eyelashes are suppose to prevent things from getting in your eyes but when I do have something in my eye, it's always an eyelash.

Eyeronic

I cant find my Gone in 60 Seconds DVD.

It was here a minute ago.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

I have a joke about clocks, but I haven't got the time.

Why did the man get hit by a bike everyday?

It was a vicious cycle.

Im color blind and the other day I thought I could actually detect purple... ...but it was just a pigment of my imagination.

I got thrown out of the cinema for taking my own food yesterday.

Been ages since Ive had a barbecue.

don't run behind a car...
youll get exhausted
don't run in front of a car
youll get tired

know why you never hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?

it's because the p is silent...

My girlfriend kept saying I should treat her like a princess.

So I forced her to marry an old guy she's never met to secure an alliance with the French.

What do you call a snail on a boat?

A snailor.