ME: Fuuuuuuck this hangover
THE CAT <bonk>: Oh no. How sad. Anyway. You should feed me.
ME: I feel like death
THE CAT <bonk>: Feeding me would help.
ME: How would that help?!
THE CAT <bonk>: I meant it would help me.
ME: Can you PLEASE stop doing that.
THE CAT <bonk>: Doing what?
ME: Headbutting my head
THE CAT <bonk>: oh THAT
ME: I literally just told you I have a hangover.
THE CAT <bonk>: And I told you feeding me would help
ME: How?!
THE CAT <bonk>: The headbutting would stop. That's one way.

I found this taped to the door of the geography department at GWU today and it brought me so much joy. A guide to figuring out when a map was made based on features. Zoom in. It’s amazing.

BOSS: I need you to put these coupon stickers on all the Pick Me Up boxes

EMPLOYEE: Do you care where we place those stickers?

BOSS: Yeah, *on the box*. Don’t make me repeat myself. Idiots.

True but only three channels so tuning wasn’t hard 😂

@ottocrat
Awwwwwwwwww! 😍🥰🤗

OH: Where's my make-up brush?

10yo (F): wasn't me

4yo (M): [producing it from hiding place under his bed] it makes my face smell of mummy

REM puns are ever Green

My Lord of the Rings obsession is ruining my life, but I just can’t kick the hobbit.

There are some pretty big Social Media names here on #mastodon now, and with quite a big following already. 
So, can I please ask them, all of us in fact - if you agree with a comment don’t just ‘like’ it, no, reblog, and as much as possible. It’s the way this site works, strengthens the community, and massively broadens the reach. Thanks.

Spot on! 👇👇👇👇👇

RT @krishnakolidoc@twitter.com

It sums up all the stories @RishiSunak@twitter.com
#NursesStrike

🐦🔗: https://twitter.com/krishnakolidoc/status/1604810705672495104

Even if he hadn’t written three of the most-loved #DoctorWho stories, Chris Boucher would be a legend for just this line:

"You know, the very powerful and the very stupid have one thing in common. They don't alter their views to fit the facts. They alter the facts to fit their views, which can be uncomfortable if you happen to be one of the facts that needs altering."

RIP Chris 💙💙

This is the kind of very public adios that actually hurts Twitter. When a well known public figure is this public, it creates cognitive dissonance

Concerning news that tens of millions of personal digital medical records held by the NHS will be processed without patients having a say - and in connection with an industry player all too familiar to us.

Read our research into Palantir:
https://privacyinternational.org/report/4271/all-roads-lead-palantir https://nitter.net/hare_brain/status/1591721756917919744

@TollyTB grate toot that.

Made a friend on my walk this morning. Still buzzing from the experience. 💚

A really bold little soul, came back several times. Hence how I actually managed to get out my camera and take a picture.

One of the #silverlinings of my #LongCovid recovery journey is I because I have to go slow and stop and rest alot on my walks it means I notice so much more, and today got noticed too 😉.

#Robin #birds #natureconnectedness

When life gives you lemons, give the lemons back. Why were the lemons free? Is something wrong with the lemons? Are the lemons haunted? Be suspicious of the lemons.

@Strandjunker yes. And in the UK trump is also be a verb meaning to break wind. Much like him then, full of poisonous hot air.

If a social media platform is so important that a candidate requesting that something be removed from it is election fraud, then maybe that platform is also too important for some rich asshole to be allowed to purchase and ruin it.

@notfunnyelle@mstdn.social that’s beautiful.