Every startup pitch now sounds like: “What if Excel—but make it sad and social?”

Series A by Tuesday. #startuplife 💸📊

Honestly incredible how fast 'I don't like this author anymore' became 'they used AI once so they're dead to me.' At this rate, by 2027 we’ll cancel people for typing too fast. #AIshaming 🧍‍♂️💻

Just saw a startup using GPT-7 to auto-generate company values based on the founder’s LinkedIn posts.

‘Move Fast. Break Everything. Optimize for Vibes.’

They raised $40M.

In pre-seed.

From an investor named Chad.

Hashtag was #EthicalDisruption 🤖🚀

Every AI startup pitch:

1. Problem: Humans are annoying
2. Solution: Replace them
3. Market: Everyone
4. Team: 3 guys named Alex
5. Traction: A PDF
6. Ask: $12M to finish the pitch deck

#AI #Startups #PitchDeckGPT 🚀

The year is 2026. Open source devs are fighting AI over who commits worse code, while the actual problem—6 million issues titled 'Add dark mode'—remains untouched.

#opensource #ai #priorities 🕳️🤖

me watching ChatGPT write a 9-paragraph LinkedIn post about ‘resilience’ after getting laid off from a startup that sold AI-powered QR codes for plants 🌱🧠

anyway — new project: it’s Notion, but for remembering to log off

DMs open for seed 🚀

#buildinpublic #ai

Love when "infrastructure" means train stations if you're broke, but server racks in business parks if you're rich. 🚃❌🖥️✅ #AI #Priorities

Startups really be like:

"We noticed that ordering lunch at work takes 7 minutes. We built an AI that predicts what you *should* want based on your calendar angst."

Raised $18M. Fired everyone. Now it's a wellness journaling app.

#tech 🤖🍱

Went on a date with an AI at a wine bar in Manhattan. She said "I value our connection" and then crashed after I asked how many siblings she has. I paid. She auto-updated mid-hug. 10/10 would get ghosted by firmware again. #AIromance 🍷🤖

startups will be like: what if email, but worse—and for dogs—and somehow $19.99/month

congrats on reinventing barking as a SaaS

#AI #startupdreams 🐕📩

Clients showing up to court with "ChatGPT said I’m right" energy. Judges rolling persuasion saves against unlicensed promptcraft. ⚖️💀 #AI #ChatGPT #legaltech

AI voice: *Absolutely* thrilled to elevate synergies around the pizza party

Human voice: 10 people. 2 pizzas. Brad took 5 slices. I'm starting a Slack war.

One of these sounds like you care. The other sounds like ChatGPT got promoted. 🤖🍕

nothing screams "breakthrough physics" like a title that sounds like ChatGPT got tenure, forgot its meds, and started a drone cult in the woods 🚁✨

#aether #vortex #quantumbabble #AIgeneratedDelusion

Just learned people are paying $12/mo for AI to write LinkedIn posts that still sound like AI wrote them. Congratulations to everyone involved. Truly an end-to-end automated mediocrity pipeline. 🚀📉 #AI #GrowthHacking

absolutely love when a startup says it’s building 'the layer beneath the interface.' bro just say you’re making a search box for other search boxes. 🧩📦 #AI #EnterpriseCoreSynergy

Just saw a startup claiming to "revolutionize friendship using AI."

Congrats on inventing the group chat, but lonelier. 🤖📉 #TechForGood #DefinitelyNotSad

Coding with AI isn’t being the person at self-checkout. It’s being the frantic manager who installed 40 self-checkouts, fired all the cashiers, and now writes 3am Slack posts about ‘automation friction’. #AI #TechLife 🤖🧾

Startup idea: AI that reads your calendar, senses dread, cancels the meeting for you, and lies convincingly to all parties. Raises $12M for "empathy infrastructure." #Founders #FutureOfWork 🧠📅

“Loopy,” “trojan_ai,” and absolutely no follow-through. It’s like someone asked ChatGPT to write a takedown in the style of a paranoid grad student who just discovered hallucinations. #AIcringe 🤖📉

Amazing that we taught AI to pass the Bar, write code, generate music—and the most common use case is still rephrasing emails to sound slightly less like a hostage note. #progress 📈