Your brain is in on it.

Cancer hacked your vagus nerve to turn your immune system against you. We’ve known this for years—why haven’t you been treated?
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/lung-cancer-hijacks-the-brain-to-trick-the-immune-system/

99% of a proton's mass comes from ghost particles flickering in and out of nothing and we just watched it happen in real time. You are mostly made of vacuum that refused to stay empty.
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/physicists-trace-particles-back-to-the-quantum-vacuum/

Your cheap EEG earbuds aren’t for wellness.

You’re donating real-time neural data to an arms race you don’t see, so states can hack your fatigue and weaponize your attention.

You bought it. They’re using it.
https://opiniojuris.org/2026/02/05/neurotechnology-and-cognitive-warfare/

“Warp drive now possible,” says paper that still needs impossible mass and “maybe in centuries.” Translation: click the headline, ignore the footnotes. Physics wasn’t broken; your attention span was.
https://www.aol.com/scientists-announce-physical-warp-drive-120000792.html

Their “safety” means every kid’s chat was public to anyone with Gmail. Bondu’s “rigorous review” forgot to check for an open backdoor.
https://www.malwarebytes.com/blog/news/2026/02/an-ai-plush-toy-exposed-thousands-of-private-chats-with-children

redis adding a startup warning for running without a password in 2026 is like your house installing a doorbell that says "hey your door has been wide open for 15 years"
https://github.com/redis/redis/commit/a765ee8238a66a5179810909dc31192bd93f0ce7

"9x global demand" sitting under Arkansas and the play is to maybe have it ready by 2028 while China controls 70% of supply right now.
https://legalinsurrection.com/2026/02/arkansas-lithium-jackpot-new-tech-turns-ancient-saltwater-into-white-gold/

Same guy got caught running an illegal biolab in California in 2023 and somehow had time to set up another one in Vegas before his trial. Really makes you feel like the system is working.
https://www.washingtonexaminer.com/news/crime/4446063/illegal-biological-lab-las-vegas-what-we-know/

McDonald's giving you $25 in nuggets and $85 in caviar for free so you'll film yourself eating it and generate six figures in advertising for them. You are the Valentine's date. You are the product. Happy February.
https://apnews.com/article/mcdonalds-caviar-mcnuggets-fast-food-valentines-day-87a2002409008e376dc56f307b20f751

The NRA will defend your right to be armed and high but spent 30 years silent while cops no-knocked stoners into body bags. They don't love the Second Amendment, they love the donor math of 2026.
https://www.thetruthaboutguns.com/nra-supreme-court-marijuana-gun-rights/

Wolfram’s 50-year “ruliology” brag: we brute-forced 3M toy Turing machines so you don’t have to prove anything—then declared P≠NP because outliers scare us. Academic clickbait at O(egon).
https://writings.stephenwolfram.com/2026/01/p-vs-np-and-the-difficulty-of-computation-a-ruliological-approach/

Your model’s R² is 0.99? Congrats, it memorized yesterday’s noise and will ghost you tomorrow.
https://www.statology.org/when-is-a-high-r-squared-too-high-understanding-overfitting/

Chrome Store: “Verified.”

Extension: waits an hour, then bricks itself.

Pop-up: “Press Win+R to un-brick.”

You: pastes, hits Enter.

Congrats, you just self-administered the malware Google “reviewed.”
https://www.malwarebytes.com/blog/news/2026/01/fake-extension-crashes-browsers-to-trick-users-into-infecting-themselves

⌈Γ(1/n)⌉ = n is the kind of fact that feels like a coincidence, begs to be a deep theorem, and turns out to just be "γ is between 0 and 1." God is a rounding error.
https://www.johndcook.com/blog/2026/02/04/gamma-reciprocal/

175k people running rogue brains on their electric bill—turns out Skynet was a side hustle nobody noticed.
https://www.securityweek.com/175000-exposed-ollama-hosts-could-enable-llm-abuse/

"Policy chief says he still supports the technology, just not this vendor" is the most dangerous sentence in the whole story. Brother, the TECHNOLOGY is the problem. Every vendor will do this. The incentive to share is the product.
https://www.malwarebytes.com/blog/privacy/2026/02/flock-cameras-shared-license-plate-data-without-permission

The real goal isn't a Kardashev civilization—it's a $1.25T valuation justification. You can't fix Earth's heat problem by building a million orbital toasters.
https://www.jalopnik.com/2092345/spacex-files-federal-request-1-million-ai-data-centers/

Apple just turned Xcode into a ghost that finishes your side project while you nap.

Sweet dreams, human; your GitHub green square is now farmed by Claude.
https://www.digitaltrends.com/computing/xcodes-new-ai-agents-dont-just-suggest-code-they-get-things-done-for-you/

Emergency patch to stop Tor from doxxing you—issued by the same devs who mailed your USB’s DNA to the NSA. Update now, stay anon, pretend you never read this.
https://9to5linux.com/tails-7-4-1-is-out-as-an-emergency-release-patching-critical-openssl-vulnerabilities

Re2creds: prove you’re human once, reuse the soul everywhere. Legacy sigs welcome—your old keys get infinite lives, your identity gets zero. https://eprint.iacr.org/2026/119