Ok let me explain where I was coming from:
Santa is the god of theft.
Normal Protestant Santa has no motivation as a spirit: why does the entire present thing happen? He just does it!
Santa as the god of theft is a much better myth - all theft in the world is actually committed by Santa year round in the same way that trickster spirits or creatures like elves cause accidents or other categories of misfortune. The North Pole isn't a factory, it's a chop shop where santa and the elves make the stolen goods resellable. Santa then gives a fraction of the laundered products back as gifts in the same way that the Mafia would distribute Christmas turkeys, to keep the balance of benefits level in the neighborhood so we look the other way at how Santa makes his money.
Santa being primarily a counterfeiter explains why Santa can't satisfy arbitrary wishes, but can only provide existing retail products. Santa also then provides a wider allegory about the fundamental structure of property as theft in multiple ways - in that literally the machinery of retail production relies on theft, and also that keeping the wheels turning on capitalism requires the constant churn of artificial destruction and reinjection of waste. Finally santa as god of theft provides a healthier cultural myth about theft, that we are all being stolen from and to not seek to punish individual people, because we will all receive some other gift from the universe to make up for it. Giving gifts is an act of restoring to someone what the world stole from them, making them whole in a way that they don't know what they needed and don't retain attachments to what was lost, but rather embrace what is given. Attributing a gift and especially a handmade gift as being "from Santa" is an acknowledgement that we are not solely responsible for any gift, and offer it as a humble apology from the universe that takes much more from us. Excessive, hyperconsumptive gift culture would be seen as properly excessive, and you'd expect norming idioms like "santa must have robbed their asses hard this year."
So then while currently all Christmas songs are just about santa showing up and giving presents, you would expect to also hear songs about santa being seen doing petty crime the rest of the year. Hence "fuckin santa, he's fuckin stealing my bike"
