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Doctor Who Minus Context

Out-of-context images from #DoctorWho. Feel free to DM suggestions.

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David Tennant episode. (Aren’t they all?) The Doctor is in a library, with demonic looking red lights shining down on the bookshelves and a bunch of miserable looking people standing around in space suits without helmets, so really, without the books, it wouldn’t look very much like a library at all. The Doctor is running around as he’s talking, because that’s generally who he is, so he’s a bit out of focus in all these images. Caption reads, “Now, what's interesting about my screwdriver, very hard to interfere with. Practically nothing's strong enough. Well, some hair dryers, but I'm working on that.”

William Hartnell episode. The Doctor is lying on the floor, with a stripey bandage on his head, not doing much. Barbara Wright is leaning down, checking on him. Ian Chesterton is picking up Susan and holding her over his shoulders. Captions read, “If anything happens… let me know.” “Well, what could happen?” “I don’t know.” Glad you’re on the same page.

Christopher Eccleston episode. Rose is in her mum’s council flat, sitting on a sofa with a big pink blanket tossed on it. There’s a fireplace that probably isn’t real and a few shelves with Stuff on them. Rickey, her boyfriend, has taken a mug of tea from Rose, her hand still holding the ghost of the cup, perhaps the first sign that he’s a horrible person and he’s only had something like two lines of dialogue so far. Caption reads, “What are you drinking, tea? No, no, no. That’s no good! That’s no good!” What a sack of shit.

Colin Baker episode. The Doctor is standing in a posh courtroom on a space ship in the future, and you can tell, because there’s both wood paneling and shiny metal Stuff on the walls. The Doctor is being Colin Baker angry, yelling and holding his arms out. Caption reads, “I am Lord President of Gallifrey. You can’t put me on trial.” Hm, sounds a little familiar, but surely this is with no context.

Ncuti Gatwa episode. Distorted black and white image of Conrad, the most punchable white man imaginable. For some reason, he’s skewed 30°. He’s giving a shit-eating stupid smile looking right into the camera. Caption reads, “Really nice weather all over the world.” Creepiest weather report ever.

William Hartnell episode. Ian Chesterton, Barbara Wright and the Doctor are in the TARDIS console room. Ian is wearing his trademark cardigan, Barbara has a shirt with a shawl and pants with circular holes going down the side, very chic. The Doctor is lying on the floor, on his side, arm shooting forward uncomfortably. Both of them are looking at him. Caption reads, “What’s he doing there?” Idk, being unconscious?

Matt Smith episode. Inside an old English castle, closeup of an oil painting of the Doctor naked, a red cloth flowing around his waist but leaving a lot to look at, holding a gold trident and wearing a gold crown, two naked babies flying in the sky and clouds that surround him. No caption.

Jon Pertwee episode. The Doctor is in a dim country pub in England, full of exceedingly British men wearing tweed coats with hair in various states of baldness and drinking beer. They’re looking curiously at the Doctor and Jo, for obvious reasons. One says, “Are you one of those television chaps then?” The Doctor says Pertweely, “I am no sort of chap, sir!”

Very underrated episode with Peter Capaldi, teenage heartthrob. The Doctor is standing in a dark medieval castle hallway, crimson crushed velvet jacket, shirt buttoned all the way up, no tie. He’s looking at no one in particular, talking to himself. Caption reads, “Finally run out of corridor, there’s a life summed up.” Happy 10th anniversary to the greatest hour of television of all time.

David Tennant episode. (Aren’t they all?) The Doctor and Donna Noble are walking through a messy looking base on a planet in the future. Kind of dark, lots of junk. A young blonde woman who is simultaneously the Doctor’s daughter, the Doctor’s clone and also the Doctor’s wife is walking ahead of them, and for some reason a man is following them. Donna says, “Rubbish. My friend Neris fathered twins using a turkey baster.” Not sure how, but that’s all we have to go on.

Peter Davison episode. Mawdryn, a pale and sickly zombie like man wearing some bizarre cross between Victorian and regal Time Lord clothes, a ghostly white face, wispy old hair, and a horrible brain looking thing sticking out of the top of his head, is inside the Doctor’s TARDIS, hunched over, not making eye contact. Caption reads, “What do you know, prattling Earth child, of the endless changing?” Not entirely sure how I’m supposed to answer that.

Jodie Whittaker episode. The Doctor is floating in mid-air like a spooky ghost, phasing in and out, while reaching into her jacket pocket, fiddling with something. She’s inside a big posh manor, fancy embellished walls and marble columns and everything. Caption reads, “Don’t mind me. I’m trying not to be distracting.” Not trying very hard, apparently.

Patrick Troughton missing episode reconstruction. Trask and Perkins, a sailor with a tricorn hat and his clerk wearing a white wig, are speaking to someone off-screen in a room that’s too dark to see any scenery or use any budget. Caption reads, “Trask will get your cargo of little booties”

Ncuti Gatwa episode. The Doctor is in Ruby’s apartment with her mum. Lights line the hallway. The Doctor is in his iconic outfit of the orange jumper and long leather pea coat. He’s grinning a wide smile, squeezing Ruby’s face, and says, “Oh! Happy birthday.”

Christopher Eccleston episode. Henry van Statten, the worst person in the world, is walking down an underground bunker hallway with brick walls and ugly fluorescent lighting. A few mercenary soldiers line the hallway, and a couple people are walking with him. His staffer says, “On behalf of all of us, I wanna wish you a very happy birthday, sir.” Happy birthday, Doctor Who.

William Hartnell episode. Ian Chesterton and Barbara Wright are sitting in a car in the dark, poorly lit by a streetlight. Ian says, “So, we have a fifteen-year old girl who is absolutely brilliant at some things and excruciatingly bad at others.” Happy birthday, Doctor Who.

Peter Davison episode. Colin Baker’s Doctor is standing in the TARDIS, in Gallifreyan soldier garb, which doesn’t involve the giant collar, but instead a metal chest plate and fluffy white and colorful purple shoulders. He’s in the TARDIS, lights down and dark, holding a piece of the console. Caption reads, “IF you try to leave again, my men will shoot to kill.” Wait, no, it’s just Commander Maxil, who’s also played by Colin Baker.

Matt Smith episode. Rory Williams is running into Amy’s house as fast as he can, a nice brick building covered in tasteful overgrown vines and flowers around the front. He’s running into the front door full speed, face mashing into some pink roses hanging down. Caption says “Argh.” Flowers: 1. Rory: 0.

Tom Baker episode. (Aren’t they all?) Sarah Jane Smith is standing in a dark concrete industrial looking basement, with an exceptionally British man in a tweed coat and another woman just off-screen. Sarah’s got a lovely purple outfit with a white necklace. Oh, and there’s a giant metal robot standing in the room, too. Sarah asks, “What do you do?” The robot replies, “Insufficient data.” Typical.

Jodie Whittaker episode. Alan Cumming is dressed as King James, in an old English building, standing in front of a big wooden door, inexplicably framed in a severe Dutch angle. He has a slight smile on his face as he says, “You may prostrate yourselves before me,” and indeed I will.

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