It is commonly understood that ND (neurodivergent) brains are "wired differently" and social interactions can be rather bewildering.
I haven't seen this particular topic discussed. I am hypothesizing that poetry could be equally inaccessible to ND folks as well, and would love thoughts on this.
@autistics @actuallyadhd #ActuallyAutistic #ActuallyADHD #Poetry
really, the worst thing about this is that I can't wear my ANC headphones for the 3rd complete day in a row bc I need to hear the bell. this stresses me out a lot, I just realized.
@macberg I'm "put the things I need in line of sight" to remember to use it #ADHD. She's "clutter makes me upset" #ActuallyADHD
I guess I mean my coping sabotages her. Her putting things away coping mechanism sabotages me. Lose-lose?
Welcome to the #auDHD tribe! Just remember to keep the lights dimmed and the volume down, then bring on the infodumps! 😎
Ask questions, there's a wealth of knowledge here.
Also, be kind to yourself. I'm ~18 months into my journey after discovering my auDHD-ness at 47 and it's a trip, man.
#actuallyadhd #actuallyautistic #actuallyaudhd #askfedi how can I guarantee I brush my teeth no matter how unable I am to activate or remember to do it? How do I build a habit that strong or a stressor that's able to get me to stop what I'm doing in place of it, even if I'm tired, or overwhelmed?
@autistics I'm going to write here about how I struggle to manage my spoons (energy spent throughout the day; see also "spoon theory") and the difficulties for us #neurodiverse people to survive and maybe thrive in a society that expects so much.
I’m not writing any of this to vent. Ultimately, near the end, I'm asking y'all to compare notes with me.
After decades as a software developer, I became a manager in Tech. It was my choice. At the time, I knew I was #actuallyadhd but had not yet been also diagnosed as #actuallyautistic. I had personally experienced mistreatment by egotistical and at times egomaniacal bosses. I'd seen my coworkers experience same. I suspected I could treat people with more compassion while getting the job done.
Things that ate my energy included:
- Meeting individually with my people were sacred to me. However, these meetings were very high in emotional labor. I did my best to be present for them through whatever they were sharing, offering coaching and mentoring where I could, referring out for what I couldn't, and also being a shoulder to cry on when needed.
- Group meetings with fellow managers and higher-ups. I felt more anxiety in these meetings. Really, anything involving "managing up" (meaning: dealing with "superiors"). While I did my best to collaborate, I felt a keener need to look for cues of threat in these interactions. More exhaustion.
- Finding time to do the paperwork. There's *always* paperwork. It takes effort, time, and even, sometimes, concentration. This would range between writing long term plans (lots of systems and strategic thinking) and lots of red-tape (my #actuallyaudhd interpretation of work that often seemed like a waste of time but required by the "organization").
Meetings required intense masking. In the corporate world, these days, there seems to be this expectation that managers all present as mini-Steve Jobs. We're expected to always appear composed. We're always supposed to show up, in group settings, as empathetic. In nearly all meetings, particularly with "reports" (people who work for us), we're coached to show up as kind yet, perversely, somewhat aloof; after all, we're in these meetings to "coach" and "mentor" as well where people aren't "meeting expectations" (also, more positively, to support high achievers when we see that they can excel even further).
It was, to say the least, a struggle.
So more to the point:
I survived and even thrived, for a time, largely by my managing my spoons. I started doing this deliberately, just to get through each day on the job. However, at the time, I wasn't seeing this as "spoons" so much as judging my ability to be *mentally aware and present* to perform a given task or function in a meeting. I was methodical in my process for managing my energy.
But I was only able to do this while on the job. Somehow, it was easier to force (mostly) consistent structure onto myself when it was for pay. But, also, once my work day was done, I was done. My life outside of work? A wreck. At the end of almost every day, I was stick-a-fork-in-me level of crispy. I had nothing left to give to anyone including myself.
Ultimately, all of this structure collapsed. I collapsed. Then I quit. I struggled through the autistic burnout I'd accumulated over years. Now, I'm unemployed and figuring out WTF to do with myself.
I'm just starting to show signs of recovering.
Now, on days when I want to do chores, I try to consider my spoons. I realize now that there are far less than I had been spending during all of those years of employment (leading into autistic burnout). Now, I plan maybe 1-3 significant chores, attempting to prioritize by both urgency and importance axes.
Having established a lot of context, onto the notes comparison request:
I imagine most of y'all are aware of your finite daily spoons (again, see: spoon theory)? Do any of y'all plan around your spoons? For taxing activities/events, do you find yourself reserving spoons earlier in the day? Maybe also the day before? Do you deliberately plan to go into debt, requiring recovery time the same day? Maybe the day after? Maybe even a few days after?
Do you take care of yourself similarly? Does it make life more comfortable? Less?
If you're employed, do you do anything like this as part of employment (something I'm mulling returning to versus self-employment)?
Really curious to hear about your experiences.
Hello!
I'm Cassian, I'm nonbinary (they/them) and I live in Wales. I mostly post about TV I'm watching, surveys I'm interested in, being neurodivergent, environment stuff, things I'm making, and spontaneous grumpy rants of little consequence.
I do the @gendercensus annually.
I first tried the Fediverse over 10 years ago, but didn't really get ensconced until the first wave of Mastodon in 2016.
#introduction #introductions #ActuallyAutistic #ActuallyADHD #neurodivergent #disabled #disability #environment #Wales #knitting #sewing #3DPrinting #recycling #upcycling #nonbinary
Every time my Mam calls, she ends up messing with the screen controls & it's exhausting trying to remind her to keep her fingers of the screen.
I think she needs to hold the screen closer toner head so the controls get hidden / deactivate.
Tried explaining that she could put the phone down & use Speaker mode but, same problem. No memory for it.
She's started talk about moving, been saying she might for years but with the landlord passed away & property up for sale she kind of has to now.
She's finally started saying she might move back to the Netherlands to be near family & I'm hoping she does but worried she doesn't seem to understand how quickly she could go from having a roof to not having one, if the purchaser wants the tenants out.
I don't know Scottish rental laws.
I think she definitely is going to need help & if she opts for moving near me, I'm it & I'm useless. In the Netherlands she'll at least have her siblings & any friends she kept in touch with.
No clue what to do to help her get started or if I should just leave it. Even if I could help I'm not sure I have a clue what to do or where to start.
Okay, think I'm just spinning wheels now.
#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic #Life #Parents
@mutualaid@fedigroups.social @mutualaid@ovo.st Longshot, anyone wanna send me some of the $300 I need for my birthday so I can meet my budget this month? It would be a lovely gift.
#disability
#MutualAid
#MutualAidRequest
#IndigenousMutualAid
#TransMutualAid
#TransCrowdFund
#DisabilityCrowdfund
#DisabilityMutualAid
#neuroDivergent
#actuallyschizophrenic
#ActuallyADHD
#LGBTQIA
#poverty
#SettlerSaturday
#DisabilityMutualAid
#TransCrowdfund
#HelpFolksLive2025
One of the surprisingly many advantages of being #actuallyADHD is that I can re-watch and re-read almost anything anew after a few years, with lots of "unexpected" twists and story turns! :D
@sofasophia nur der vollständigkeit halber, auch für ggf. andere mitlesende:
"Gegenwärtig (Stand Juni 2025) besitzen mehrere Methylphenidat-haltige Medikamente (seit April 2011 Medikinet adult, seit Mai 2014 Ritalin adult, seit 2022 Concerta, seit 2023 Kinecteen) eine Zulassung für Erwachsene. In der Schweiz wird Methylphenidat von der Krankenkasse auch für Erwachsene bezahlt."
https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aufmerksamkeitsdefizit-/Hyperaktivit%C3%A4tsst%C3%B6rung
I'm physically and mentally exhausted today.
Hoping everyone's as well as you can be.
Before I put my phone away for the next few days, I just wanted to wish you all a lovely weekend ahead with good mental and physical health. 💚
@sofasophia ich hatte elvanse plus bupropion [offlabel, mph wirkt bei autistischen menschen öfter nicht ohne das dazu, war bei mir so], und jetzt hab ich kinecteen [+b], das ist cooler, weil es nur einmal für den ganzen tag [ja wirklich] und noch viel cooler: unabhängig von den mahlzeiten [!] eingenommen werden kann!!! \o//
