By Samguineous Maximus
Within the sprawling cosmos of heavy metal, there are those who shy away from “cheese.” The self-serious arbiters of credibility who cannot fathom the spectacle of a Jørnlike figure, clad in frills, golden mane cascading, arms outstretched as soliloquies of passion pour forth in gloriously ESL-stained accents. Yet for those of us who have dared sail the seas of cheese, who have cast aside the brittle armor of irony, such bombast is not an embarrassment but a revelation, a childlike ecstasy born from grown men shrieking about dragons or Tolkien over galloping power chords as though their lives depended on it. It is precisely for this rapturous abandon, this embrace of the sublime absurd, that we turn to a band like Feanor. These Argentinians have been cultivating their own brand of curd since the ‘90s, and across 5 albums, have basked in the glorious light of Teutonic heavy metal. Their last album, Power of the Chosen One, fermented for perhaps just a tad too long. Still, with some lineup changes, a new label, and an impressive cast of guest musicians, Hellhammer seems poised to deliver them into the gilded halls of heavy metal greatness. Will Feanor at last unveil a wheel aged with patience and depth, or will these hapless cheesemongers find themselves choking on the very aroma they hoped would entice?
The most immediate difference between Hellhammer and Feanor’s previous efforts is the sheer Euro-chad aura emanating from new vocalist Micke Stark. This is a man forged in the fjords, his Swedish accent as thick as a tankard of mead, his tenor piercing the heavens like Odin’s own warhorn. Stark doesn’t just sing; he commands the ship, steering us through Feanor’s cocktail of Manowar’s loincloth bravado, Running Wild’s salt-crusted bombast, and enough ‘90s power metal clichés to fill a longship. He makes even Thomas Winkler sound reserved, and every syllable he chews becomes a weapon in the band’s arsenal. Whether belting absurd tales of brotherly love (“The Epic of Gilgamesh Pt2 (The Quest For Immortality)”), forbidden Elvish/human romance (“The Ballad of Beren and Luthien”) or vague Scandinavian mythology (“Flight of the Valkyries”), Stark sells every line with enough charm where you can almost feel the pyrotechnics. Nowhere is the ESL charm more apparent, though, than “H.M.J,” a folk metal-flavored ripper about miscellaneous pirate stuff, where in between shredtastic solos and cannonball sound effects synched to gang vocals of “Fire! Guns! Cannons!,” its chorus boldly intones: “Heavy metal Jesus, heavy metal is the law” before ending with a tongue-in-cheek reference to “Stay forever Running Wild.” Stark elevates ridiculous moments like this to memorable highs that feel built for drunken sing-alongs at European festivals and almost make row pits seem like a good idea.
None of this vocal cheese would work without a proper boarding party, and Hellhammer boasts an impressive cast of scallywags for maximum HEAVY METAL POWER. 1 Axemen E.V. Martel and Thilio Hermann (appropriately ex-Manowar and ex-Running Wild, respectively) deliver exactly what one would expect of this style, nailing the distinct blend of galloping verse riffs, tasty lead melodies, and acrobatic solos. Their work is bolstered by newcomer Diana Boncheva on violin, injecting an orchestral feel to Feanor’s core sound by harmonizing with guitar lines, augmenting choruses, and rounding out ballads with some dynamic contrast. Of course, Hellhammer also features no fewer than 9 guest musicians, ranging from more ex-Manowar guitarists Ross the Boss and David Shankle, who throw even more lead guitar layers in the pot, to Piet Sielck of Iron Savior, embellishing arrangements with keyboards and choirs, to Camilla Star,k who delivers female vocals on several cuts. The added cast members lends the album an epic heft, like a band of grizzled adventurers converging for one last quest. When everything comes together, like on adrenaline-filled opener “Sirens of Death” or mid-tempo singalong “Remember the Fallen,” Feanor reach the majestic heights that only cheese this pungent can produce. Unfortunately, not every track is equally alluring.The problem is, Hellhammer just doesn’t know when to quit. At nearly 70 minutes, even the most heroic momentum falters. Feanor try to mix things up with interludes and slower songs, and while some work, they can’t prevent fatigue from setting in. With most tracks running 5–7 minutes, songs start to blur, and by the time track eight (“Maglor the Singer”) rolls around, the weight of the remaining 20+ minutes feels daunting. The album’s final stretch doesn’t help, ending with a ballad (“The Ballad of Beren and Luthien”) and a slower number (“This One’s for You”) that fizzle out instead of finishing strong. The length doesn’t erase the album’s brightest moments, but it does make front-to-back listens a heavy lift.
With Hellhammer, Feanor have produced an impressive collection of fist-pumping tunes that are destined to make seasoned cheese heads grin. Despite its intimidating size, I still find myself reaching for another serving of the band’s exquisite platter. The best songs here are going right into my cheese-maxing playlist alongside Dream Evil and ANGUS McSIX, destined to cheer me up on the darkest of days. This record isn’t perfect, but sometimes it’s nice to rock out alongside metal that’s so unabashedly fun. Even bloated and overstuffed, this album is a banquet worth raiding, a wheel of cheese worth gnawing until your stomach protests, a voyage you’ll happily set sail on again and again.
Rating: Good!
DR: 7 | Format Reviewed: 320 kbps mp3
Label: No Remorse Records
Websites: facebook.com/feanorband
Releases Worldwide: September 19th, 2025
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