Lmst

Biochemist “Pint of adenosine triphosphate please” Barman “Certainly, sir. That’ll be 80p.” #science #joke (New Scientist, yonks ago.)

https://tlmb.net/blog/10597-2/ #joke #science

Do what you want cause a Linux user is free ...

#linux #meme #support #software #os #user #nerd #humor #economy #company #fun #funny #just4fun #joke #lmao #customer #lol #freedom #destiny

There once was an intern from Vermouth
Who was fired when she broke a tooth
Dictating a Bill
On Capital Hill
She could not pronounce Arkansooth

#jokes #limerick #funny #poem #humour #joke

Reminder that your quadrennial fascination with the sport of curling begins today!

The Olympic curling matches have already started.

It is time to have Strong Opinions.

#joke #olympics #curling #winterolympics

’𝗕𝗔𝗥𝗙 𝗢’𝗖𝗟𝗢𝗖𝗞’ 🍹🍸🥂

What happened to the old-fashioned cuckoo clock?

#webcomic #webcomics #comic #comics #joke #jokes #comicstrip #comicstrips #funny #custardfist

- - - This is a comic strip - - -

We see an old-fashioned clock up close.

A little door opens and a plank pops out with a drunk teenage girl on it who is on all fours and pukes.

The girl disappears. The door closes.

The girl pops out again and pukes.

Then we zoom out and see a woman sitting under the clock with splatters of vomit on her. She complains to her husband “OK, IT’S 2 O’CLOCK AND I STILL DON’T LIKE THIS ‘DRUNK TEENAGE GIRL’ CLOCK, MATHEW.”
Mathew responds “C’MON, GIVE IT ANOTHER HOUR.”

How do you make the locomotive Olympics?

Train really hard.

#joke

Perhaps not the Magic System we need, but the Magic System we deserve! 😜😂

@bookstodon @books
@worldbuilding @humor@fedigroups.social @humor@fedigroups.social @humor@lemmy.world @aiop

#MagicSystem #Magic #System
#Witch #Wizard #Cast #Smell #Fart #Joke
#SpeculativeFiction #FantasyBooks
#FantasyMemes #SciFiMemes #Fantasy #SciFi #Meme #Memes #Humor #Humour #Funny
#Low #High #Epic #Science #Opera #Hard #CottageCore #SolarPunk #Comedic #Whatever #GiveMeAllYouveGot
#Book #Books #Novel #Novels #Bookstodon #Bookworm #Bookwyrm #BookLove

Meme on a painting of three people looking like they may be wafting away some odour.
Caption:
Witches and Wizards don't fart, the Cast Smells.

The song Please Mr. Postman was playing in a restaurant recently and I couldn't help but marvel how it would be different if written today. There is no more waiting for the mail as a regular life occurrence. No more turning off waiting until the next day. So I rewrote it.

Oh yeah gimme now and not later
Don’t delay now (I need it faster)
Can’t sit still (my thumb’s on fire)
I want it now, oh wow-wow-wow-wow

#joke #lyrics #writer