"Why was the lawyer always worried about his weight?

Because he didn't want to be held in ""contempt of court""!

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Q: What if a utility's error caused a power failure, and a homeowner's invisible fence lost power, letting her Rottweiler attack a dog walker and his Corgi (who both taunted the Rottweiler), causing the walker to trip, hit his head, and die?

A: A Torts professor would orgasm.

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