What does a clock do when it’s hungry? It goes back four seconds.
#Mitchthecat
Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they’re shellfish.
What do you get when you mix alcohol and literature? Tequila mockingbird
Weathermen, who are not vegetarian, are meat-eater-ologists.
#Cats #Jokes #Mitchthecat #vegetarian #meat #meateater #weather
My new girlfriend works at the zoo. I think she’s a keeper.
People are usually shocked when they find out I'm not a very good electrician.
Police have been contacted in response to the murder hornets.
They are using a SWAT team to set up a sting operation.
How do you make a water bed more bouncy?
Add spring water.
Bear walks into a bar and says to the bar tender, "One whiskey and...........................one coke"
"Why the bid pause?" asks the bartender?
"I don't know, I was born with them." Says the bear
A man walks into a library and asks the librarian for books about paranoia. She whispers, "They're right behind you!"
There was a human talking to another human saying, "My child doesn't want to eat meat anymore, there so fussy, I don't know what to replace it with"
When I heard this I thought, "Replace it with a cat, we love meat".
Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
Q: Why did the can crusher quit his job?
A: Because it was soda pressing.
Q: What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa?
A: A rebel without a Claus.
#Jokes #Cats #Mitchthecat #Santa #Santaclause #MerryChristmas #HappyHolidays
I was walking a long a neighboring farm and I saw a scarecrow, I got to talking to him and he says,"As a scarecrow, people say I’m outstanding in my field.
But hay, it’s in my jeans."
#Jokes #Cat #Mitchthecat #Farm #Scarecrow #jeans #hay
Husband: “Oh the weather is lovely today. Shall we go out for a quick jog?“
-
Wife: “Hahaha, I love the way you pronounce ‘Shall we go out and have a cake’!”
Why was King Arthur’s army too tired to fight?
All of those sleepless knights.
I started a company selling land mines disguised as prayer mats.
Prophets are going through the roof.
Client Info
Server: https://mastodon.social
Version: 2025.04
Repository: https://github.com/cyevgeniy/lmst