Brown Magnet and Audio Labs

https://bharadwajls.space/life/brown-magnet-and-audio-labs/

My mom wanted us to get groceries earlier today for her. I was already worried about it because I wasn’t very awake yet. I began getting more and more anxious while driving because I obviously didn’t want to get into an accident. When we actually got to the store I stayed in the car and tried to not have a panic attack. By the time Wren got back out with the food I was somewhat more awake so driving home was a little easier. My stepdad pulled me aside later and was asking if I’m okay & how I should let them help me. He was saying that the attacks are going to get worse as I get older if I don’t get help for them. I really do want therapy again but I’ve been putting it off for various reasons. I miss my therapist that I had for several years. I hope that she’s doing okay. I was supposed to get an autism assessment done where she works but by the time I was called about an appointment I had just moved to a new state. Part of me doesn’t want the assessment now because people will always treat someone who’s diagnosed with autism poorly. Not to mention that Trump is not helping with the ableism with the dumb things he’s said lately about being on the spectrum.

This girl is so demanding with her messages. 😬😰 I feel pressured to talk to her because she’s young and I think that she wants approval for whatever reason. I would feel guilty if I blocked her but I might do so. I worry that she’s lonely like I am so I don’t want to make it worse. Friendships with age gaps are difficult sometimes… but I struggle to make friends my own age as well. I feel sympathy for her because I didn’t have an older sibling at that age (or ever) to vent to or learn from. Now that I’m an adult™️ I actually want older sibling connections myself, someone to be around who aren’t my parents. Idk… feeling that only child loneliness deeply right now. People with no siblings need to be studied under a microscope. 😂

I think that you should be allowed to consume (some) problematic media sometimes. I’m tired of every other thing that I enjoy being axed by ‘fans’, sometimes before it can even get off of the ground so to speak. I’m an adult and believe it or not I have the brain capacity to look at said thing with a critical eye. Are there horrible people in this world? Yes, but not every misunderstanding or block button hit is a personal jab at you.

I’m so tired chat. I must’ve caught a stomach bug or ate something bad. :blobfoxcry2:

I've been exploring #speckit with #gemini (gemini-cli) for the last couple days. Writing software specifications that will be used for software development...

Gosh, I feel like I've stepped back to my college Software Engineering courses. I remember the good old days debating waterfall vs iterative software development.

In retrospect, It was always iterative software development. Waterfall model development was a product of the contractual nature of software development back in the days when there were a limited number of software developers.

#ramblings #softwaredevelopment

Everything is getting worse and worse in the world and I can’t do anything about it except stop doomscrolling.

The review of an #esoteric tome on #continuations blunders on like an over-caffeinated grad student's fever dream 💤💻. The author can't decide if it's groundbreaking or a $100 paperweight 📚❓. Spoiler: it has no exercises - because who needs practice when you've got #theoretical #ramblings, right? 🤷‍♂️
https://swatson555.github.io/posts/2025-09-16-compiling-with-continuations.html #literature #HackerNews #gradstudent #HackerNews #ngated

I guess that we have a new kitten now. 🤎🤍

I’m so damn tired of scammers contacting me. Usually they’re extremely obvious and I just block them. The ones that can actually hold a conversation and feign interest in me are harder to ignore. I don’t have friends, at least not friends that I can talk to in person and spend time with. While these scammers are fishing for my info it also feels like they’re preying on my loneliness.

It's so bastard COLD that I've just dug out some woolly winter socks to put on.

(Not allowed to put the heating on yet)

In 3 days time, it's 27C.

Mountain weather amirite 🌄🤷

#ramblings

Just #jasperthecat causing CHAOS this morning, as he tried to follow me to the post office 😂

(Got my first order in 10 days)

- Check the cat - cat is asleep
- I leave the garage
- Turn at bottom of driveway to check again: no cat

Halfway down the road, he bombs past me 🐈‍⬛😅

WAAAIT FOR MEEEE...

#feralcat #ramblings

I’m watching Repo the Genetic Opera for the first time. 🫀🧠🫁🩸

How have I got the itchiest, most annoying mosquito bite ever?

On my STOMACH of all places..

I was wearing a top, hoodie AND A RAINCOAT

#mosquito #ramblings

I really wish my dreams weren’t so vivid and disturbing sometimes. Memories from one from last night came back to me as I was waking up and I thought ‘oh, that wasn’t real. Good.’ I don’t know why our minds choose to show us fucked up stuff like that. Especially when it’s not a flashback to something traumatic you experienced, it’s like your consciousness chooses to be mean.

Every day I hate that I got the ditzy and oversensitive autism and not the smart child prodigy autism. Seems unfair.

Catfish (people who impersonate someone else online,) scammers and social media accounts run by AI all are making me feel like it’s even harder to connect with actual, honest people. The dead internet theory is looking more and more real.