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16 Signs You Are Living a Life of Mediocrity

Read here: https://innermasteryhub.com/you-are-living-a-life-of-mediocrity/

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Day 21 — My Soft Confession: The Fear Behind “The Other Shoe Will Drop”

Soft confessions are not easy to share, even when you’ve done enough healing work to name them out loud. They come from tender places. They come from the versions of us we protect the most. They come from wounds that no longer bleed but still ache when touched. Today’s prompt moves straight into that tender place.

My soft confession is this:
When I am at my worst — my most anxious, my most overwhelmed — I brace myself for bad things to happen.

I do not mean this in a dramatic, catastrophic way. I mean it in a patterned, conditioned, deeply ingrained way. It is the quiet expectation that joy has an expiration date. The subtle fear that peace is temporary. The instinct to prepare myself emotionally in case life decides to pivot sharply and take something away.

It is the mental whisper:
“When will the other shoe drop?”

This mindset didn’t appear out of nowhere. It didn’t build itself in a vacuum. It grew out of lived experiences, of survival instincts, of trauma responses, of watching stability turn unstable more times than I could count. It grew from rhythms I adapted to without realizing it, cycles of uncertainty that shaped my body and spirit long before I understood what anxiety was.

Growing up between cultures, in spaces that required toughness, responsibility, and resilience, I learned early on that good moments often came with shadows. Peace was often followed by disruption. Happiness felt fragile. Safety felt conditional. So my nervous system learned to stay alert, even when I didn’t want it to.

It was not pessimism.
It was preparation.

But preparation becomes fear when it never turns off.

For a long time, this mindset guided how I moved through the world. If something good happened, I waited for the balance, the moment life would swing the pendulum back. If something went right, I scanned for what might go wrong. If I experienced a stretch of calm days, a part of me braced for the impact of something unexpected.

This is not an easy thing to admit.
Especially as someone who has learned, slowly, intentionally, painfully, to embrace softness again.
Especially as someone who writes stories about healing, courage, and reclaiming magic.
Especially as someone who is actively trying to rise out of survival mode and into something more spacious and gentle.

The good news is that I am not as ruled by this mindset as I used to be.
Therapy helped.
Self-awareness helped.
Spirituality helped.
Taking deeper care of my nervous system helped.
The soft bruja challenge itself is part of my healing.

But even now, the old pattern shows up when I am most stressed or anxious.
That is the moment when the voice inside me, the one shaped by years of emotional bracing, tries to step forward again.
It tells me to prepare.
It tells me to expect loss.
It tells me to tighten my heart just in case.

And that is when my healing work kicks in.

Instead of letting that voice run wild, I meet it.
I name it.
I breathe into it.
I challenge it.
I remind myself:

Good things don’t have to be balanced with suffering.
Joy is not suspicious.
Peace is not a threat.
Life is not waiting to punish me for being happy.

I also remind myself of the emotional truth I’ve learned over time:
The shoe dropping isn’t destiny, it’s actually hypervigilance.
It’s my nervous system trying to protect me from disappointment.
It’s little-me, the child version of myself, trying to keep me safe the only way she knew how.

And she deserves compassion, not shame.

Now, when I feel myself bracing, I use grounding rituals:
A deep breath.
A hand on my heart.
An affirmation.
A lavender candle.
A tarot pull for reassurance.
A moment outside under the moon.
A reminder that I have survived everything life threw at me and still rose.

I’ve also noticed that when I am truly overwhelmed, the fear of the other shoe dropping is not actually about the future. It’s exhaustion plain and simple. It’s the part of me that needs rest, but instead tries to predict disaster. It is a signal that I need to pause, tend to myself, and ground my spirit.

Sharing this confession is vulnerable because it reveals a part of me that is still healing. But vulnerability is also medicine. Naming what scares us takes away its power. Naming what we’re working through reminds us, and others, that softness and strength can coexist.

I am not ashamed of this confession.
It is an honest reflection of where I’ve been and where I am going.

And the truth is this:
I am better now.
I catch the pattern more quickly.
I interrupt it more gently.
I remind myself more confidently that joy is not dangerous.
I choose softness more intentionally.

Yes, the fear still rises sometimes.
But I no longer let it steer me.
I hold it.
I breathe with it.
I speak to it.
I shrink its influence little by little, day by day.

And that is what healing looks like, not perfection, but awareness.

So here is my soft confession:
I still brace for the shoe to drop.
But now, when it feels like it’s falling, I remind myself:
I am safe.
I am capable.
I am healing.
I am allowed to trust joy.
And not every sound is a shoe.

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“Fear is just false evidence appearing as real.”
— Santina Grace

In Ep. 494 of Fishing Without Bait, we discuss fear, the illusion of productivity, and how to reconnect with your most authentic self.

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Friday Feature: 5 Self-Development Books That Heal Like Spells

There are books that teach you how to think—and then there are books that teach you how to feel.
The ones that hold a mirror to your spirit, call you out with love, and whisper, You’ve got this, mija.

These are the books that don’t just sit on your shelf—they live in your bloodstream. They remind you that growth isn’t about perfection; it’s about healing, reclaiming, and remembering your worth.

Today, I’m sharing five self-development books that heal like spells—guides for the mind, body, and soul that help you break cycles, nurture your inner peace, and reconnect with your roots.

1. The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

A timeless spiritual guide based on ancient Toltec wisdom, The Four Agreements distills life into four deceptively simple truths:

• Be impeccable with your word.
• Don’t take anything personally.
• Don’t make assumptions.
• Always do your best.

These lessons are the foundation of emotional freedom. Every time I reread this book, I’m reminded how our words—especially the ones we say to ourselves—can either curse or bless our lives.

Why it heals: It helps you unlearn people-pleasing and reclaim your peace.

2. The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk

Healing doesn’t start in the mind—it begins in the body. This groundbreaking book explains how trauma physically embeds itself in our nervous systems and how movement, mindfulness, and connection help release it.

For those of us who grew up in survival mode—always “on,” always bracing—it’s a revelation. It validates the exhaustion you can’t explain and reminds you that you’re not broken; you’re protecting yourself.

Why it heals: Because it reminds you that rest, not productivity, is the real recovery and that even when you forget the body remembers so you might as well come to head with those memories so you can begin to heal.

3. Self-Care for Latinas by Raquel Reichard

This one feels like a warm cafecito with your best friend and abuela rolled into one. Self-Care for Latinas isn’t about bubble baths—it’s about reclaiming joy, setting boundaries, and building a wellness practice rooted in culture and community.

Reichard talks about the cultural pressures that often make self-care feel selfish for Latinas, and she flips that narrative on its head. It’s practical, affirming, and empowering in the most grounded way.

Why it heals: Because it centers you—your culture, your rest, your right to joy.

4. Mamá Didn’t Raise a Pendeja by Sandra Hinojosa Ludwig

This book is the pep talk every recovering good girl needs. Ludwig mixes humor, spiritual insight, and straight-up tough love to help Latinas reconnect with self-worth, intuition, and abundance.

It’s a reminder that generational strength runs deep, but so do generational wounds—and healing both is part of the journey. It’s bold, bilingual, and refreshingly honest.

Why it heals: Because it teaches you how to take up space without guilt and lead with both corazón and boundaries.

5. Break the Cycle: A Guide to Healing Intergenerational Trauma by Dr. Mariel Buqué

Dr. Buqué’s book is a masterclass in healing from the inside out. She unpacks how family trauma travels across generations and how we can stop carrying pain that isn’t ours.

For me, it connected so much to The Ordinary Bruja’s core theme—how silence and self-doubt pass down like heirlooms until someone decides to end the pattern. Buqué gives practical tools for emotional regulation, ancestral healing, and self-forgiveness.

Why it heals: Because it shows that breaking cycles isn’t betrayal—it’s love in its purest form.

Why These Books Matter

Each of these books offers a different kind of magic:

• The Four Agreements – Spiritual clarity
• The Body Keeps the Score – Emotional embodiment
• Self-Care for Latinas – Cultural grounding
• Mamá Didn’t Raise a Pendeja – Empowered identity
• Break the Cycle – Generational healing

Together, they form a spiritual toolkit for growth—rooted in culture, compassion, and courage.

Final Reflection

Healing isn’t linear. Some days you’ll feel like a warrior; others, like you’re unraveling. That’s okay. Growth is messy, magical, and ongoing.

When I read these books, I don’t just highlight sentences—I highlight truths. They remind me that I come from strength, softness, and resilience. And they remind me that self-development, especially for Latinas, isn’t about becoming new—it’s about remembering who we’ve always been.

So, if you’re looking for books that don’t just speak to your mind but to your spirit, start here.
Each one is a spell for self-love, a prayer for peace, and a guide back to yourself.

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The Weight of the World and the Dread That Never Ends

https://theinterfaithintrepidart.com/2025/11/01/the-weight-of-the-world-and-the-dread-that-never-ends/

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