I donβt think I will ever write a better talk title or description than this one for my opening keynote at DokutechΒΉ in 2016 (Iβm going through all the past events Laura and I spoke at over the last decade and making sure the links work for the KittenΒ² version of the site):
Excuse Me, Your Unicorn Keeps Shitting In My Back Yard, Can He Please Not?
The matrix is inverted and my teddy bear is spying on me. Why am I covered in unicorn shit? I was only browsing the web. No, I do not want another cookie. Why are you feeding me cookies? Is that my treadmill? Am I the milk of magnesia to your unicornβs constipation? How can you hear me when Iβm not saying anything? I canβt seem to look away. Hello, White Man on the Cloud! Why can He see me, but I canβt see Him? Who, exactly, is getting smarter about whom? And why is Oettingerβs donut so red?
PS. You can watch the recording of the talk here: https://ar.al/talks/#excuse-me
ΒΉ https://doku.tech
2 https://kitten.small-web.org
#BigTech #unicorns #surveillance #capitalism #talk #dokutech