You know how we're seeing all those #UnWrapped posts from various platforms - LinkedIn, Spotify, even Mastodon - that use #data to summarise your posts or tastes or engagements with the platform?
I'd like to see a tool that does some sort of data harvesting unwrapped - e.g.
▶️ We harvested all of your sleep data and sold it for $xx to a health insurance provider, along with the gender and weight information you gave us. It's not our fault if they increase your premiums, you fat tired woman who snores!
▶️ We harvested all the natural language data you used in your posts, tokenized it and performed sentiment analysis, so now we can infer whether you're happy or depressed, and target advertising which exploits those weaknesses 🎉
▶️ We recorded all the utterances you spoke to your voice assistant, and now we can tell the exact period when you had a cold, or bronchitis, or COVID, and we've sold that to bossware companies who will rate you on how many sick days you're likely to take. They're good buddies with the folks we sold your sleep data to!
▶️ In the platform that you use every day for work, we harvested all your click data so that we can build a profile of how someone in your job role operates, and then try to automate it to replace you, you feeble, fallible, rest-needing, expensive meat sack.
▶️ I give up these are too easy, unfortunately
Merry data-mas.