“But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. Once you were not a people, but now you are God’s people; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy. Beloved, I urge you as sojourners and exiles to abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against your soul. Keep your conduct among the Gentiles honorable, so that when they speak against you as evildoers, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day of visitation.”
1 Peter 2:9-12 ESV
The moment that girls began stressing about the brand of their jeans, the smoothness of their hair, and how much attention they could get from the guys around them, was the same moment I felt as though I lost all sense of belonging.
Growing up, I was content with who I was. I didn’t know Christ but my young thoughts never ran deep enough to see how unstable the foundation of my identity was. That was until I began hearing the whispers and the giggles of the boys and girls around me as I would walk through the halls of my school.
Belonging. What a simple word yet so complicated to find in one’s personal life.
For years after I gave my life to Christ, the struggle of never feeling like I “fit in” loomed over me like a heavy cloud, blocking any vision of hope. I lived every day surrounded by people, but feeling so uncomfortable and lonely inside. In my head, if I could just buy the right clothes, get my hair to be straight enough, or know when to talk and when to stay silent, I could maybe, just maybe, find a sense of community. A group of people who loved me and thought I was cool. But that group never came.
I am not saying my friends were not good friends or my family lacked in comforting me. I’m saying that regardless of who I met, I was never fulfilled in the way I longed to be. I never felt like I could be myself without carrying the massive weight of my fear of judgement.
During my years of attending church and youth group, I heard over and over again of how personal and authentic our relationship with God should be, but it wasn’t until I hit a deep low in the summer of 2019 that my eyes were opened to what it meant to be a CHILD of God. A chosen, beloved, and redeemed child of the most genuine and compassionate Father.
For the first time in my life, as I fell to my knees during worship, I realized who I was and what I was made for BECAUSE of WHOSE was. It was as though God sat directly beside me, giving me a big hug while I balled my eyes out in front of all of the other students at church camp that summer.
“I belong to you” was now the joyous statement I could proclaim without an ounce of doubt. And the deeper I thought about my identity, the more I found truth in that surrendering.
Iron bell Music has a song with that very title. And by the mercy of God, I am reminded of the walls that crumbled, the chains that broke, and my heart that was lifted into the perfect hands of the Father on that random day at church camp when I broke down in a way I never had before. It was no longer tears of pain, emptiness, anger, and confusion that would flood my eyes every night. It was tears of fulfillment, humility, peace, comfort…and belonging.
After experiencing so many days of joyful belonging in Christ, I realized that this is a statement of surrendering that I NEVER want to let slip my mind for even a minute. My loving Father has done a miracle in my heart. He brought a healing I never thought was possible. And so I am delighted to share with you, the beauty of His grace in my life and cant wait to testify it to every open heart I meet as everything I do, from my heart to my hands, flows from remembering His goodness.
I am not of this world. I was never made to be filled by the brokenness it brings. And even though I may struggle in finding genuine community, I don’t have to feel empty or lonely because I can rest assured that I will always fully belong to my beautiful Heavenly Father.
https://thegracestreetblog.com/2022/08/19/i-belong-to-you-my-commitment-to-jesus-new-tattoo/
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