The Circle of Kvetching, or: Comfort In, Dump Out.
I first learned about this concept in association with serious illness. Whoever's sick (or otherwise afflicted) gets to complain about how they're affected to everyone. The folks closest to them get to complain about how they're being affected by their beloved's affliction to everyone *except the afflicted person*.
Concentric rings of closeness to the afflicted person determine what's OK.. you never complain to anyone closer to the afflicted person than you are. You just offer them comfort, and you get to complain to anyone more distant and less affected than you are by the awfulness.
I think if you stretch the idea a bit, it fits oppression.
When someone complains about the oppression of a group they belong to and you don't, the kindest thing to do is listen, and offer sympathy. Don't offer advice. And FFS, don't argue with them about it.
When you feel the urge to advise or argue, take a breath, walk away, and think about one of the times you've been mansplained to. Because who here hasn't had that experience? Do you really want to do that to someone else?
We are ALL in the center circle of oppression by oligarchs. Suffering isn't a competition. Everyone's suffering is valid, and we know fuck-all about each other's lived experience. Unless we shut up for a while so we can listen to and learn from each other. As comrades do.
Surely, surely, we have the ability to focus on our shared interest in eating the rich.
TL/DR: Eat the rich, not each other.
#Oppression #Racism #Sexism #Transphobia #Islamophobia #Antisemitism #Unions #Homophobia #Fascists #Fascism #Disability #Eugenics #Slutshaming #Fatshaming #Kindness #Ableism
