Typically, people think it's cute I think when I tell them my primary #stim behaviour is #humming. But those people don't understand the severity of said humming and #stimming or what it does to me inside my head.
Because make no mistake, I do not want to hum -- however, the #brain demands it, in a near-#OCD way in which if I don't hum, bad things will happen. It is in fact a pervasive-style thought more than anything, and I get no choice in the matter, as I will often just 'wake up' (I've been awake the whole time mind you) realizing I've been humming for an entire 2 hours, but only 2 bars of a #song over and over again.
I do wish a prevalent option by my brain wasn't -marching band tunes- either, and oddly enough not even well-known ones. No, all those years in band means I can make them up on the fly, and somehow remember them to hum over and over again for everyone to 'enjoy' (but never enough of the song to really get anywhere, that's the most frustrating part of all perhaps).
I just found myself humming the same 4 bars of "Fever" (most notably linked to Peggy Lee, but written by Otis Blackwell and Eddie Cooley) over and over again for hours ad-nauseum, probably because I don't know any more of the song than that. But what's worse is that the song gets me snapping my fingers, and once I start snapping my fingers that rhythmically, I usually transition directly into the theme song of Sharky and George.
I guess what I'm trying to say is: Send help.
#mentalhealth #autism #asd #bpd