DHS Offers Justifications to Senator Ernst

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Several weeks ago, I received a letter in the mail from Senator Joni Ernst. I missed a couple of attempts by her office to reach me via email to follow up on the information I submitted on her website. I had made a few small changes to personalize it for her before sending essentially the same content I had included in My Message to Governor Reynolds.

The letter from Senator Ernst, accompanied by a release of information form, reassured me that once completed and received, “an inquiry will be initiated immediately on my behalf.”

I discovered last weekend that on July 19, 2022, I received an brief email from Senator Ernst’s office, encouraging me to review the attached letter they had received from the Legislative Liaison, Maddie Wilcox. Upon receiving the inquiry regarding my case, Ms. Wilcox asked the Cedar Rapids Services Area Administration to review and report back. This is the information they compiled.

Below, I will share the 6-page document I prepared in response. I expected stronger arguments from the department to counter the bold truths I had shared about them in my plea for help to Senator Ernst. Before I offer a brief synopsis regarding the cases listed in the letter, I would like to clarify the difference between unconfirmed, unfounded, confirmed, and founded reports:

“Unconfirmed” means that upon completion of a child protection assessment, the department has determined, based upon a preponderance of the evidence, that a child does not meet the definition of an abused or neglected child.

“Unfounded” refers to a report where the local children and youth agencies determine that allegations of child abuse are not substantiated

“Confirmed” reports are when child abuse/neglect occurred but it was minor, isolated, and not likely to reoccur, and the perpetrator was not placed on the child abuse registry.

“Founded” reports indicate that child abuse/neglect occurred, and the perpetrator is listed on the child abuse registry.

I will provide greater detail below, but here is a quick recap of the cases they listed:

• Case #1- September 2006 to May 2007 was UNCONFIRMED, UNFOUNDED
• Case #2- September 2007 to March 2008 was CONFIRMED, UNFOUNDED
  • Noah was born December 2008
• Case #3- May 2011 to December 2011 was UNCONFIRMED, UNFOUNDED
• Case #4- March 2013 to February 2014 was FOUNDED
  • Elijah was born December 2013
• Case #5- February and July 2018- this assertion was stated in such a way that it is misleading, and although the reports were FOUNDED against me, this determination was based on untrue statements and cognitive bias, rather than the facts.
• the multiple infractions in violation of my contract with the Iowa Board of Nursing came as the direct result of their failure to return contact with the INAP Director.
• The decision I made to self-suspend my nursing license was presented to me as the best option due to their negligence.
• Self-suspension of my Registered Nursing license does not automatically strip me of the knowledge, skill set, or critically thinking or decision making skills I developed as a professional skilled nurse
• Self-suspension of my nursing license does not diminish my capacity to make medical or mental health decisions for my child in cooperation with my children’s medical care team.
• The drug testing I completed for the Department of Human Services and my probation officer showed the last positive test result obtained 1/4/2019 by my PO indicated marijuana use.
• Two patch test results showed trace positive results in October and November for methamphethamine- my objections to the validity of those results were ignored.
• Despite providing significant documentation from my doctor as to the severe adhesive allergy symptoms I exhibited with the sweat patch adhesive, and the prescription antihistamines I had to take to keep those symptoms at bay while wearing the patch, my case worker continued to order them.
• I was unlawfully charged with the possession of marijuana and paraphernalia, despite the owner claiming full responsibility and pleading guilty to both counts. I refused to plead guilty to the same possession charges, so court was continued several times until I finally accepted the plea agreement in February 2020.
• I was sentenced to complete the program at the Waterloo Women’s Center for Change over 1.5 grams of marijuana and a pot pipe that was not mine.
• A hair test taken in July 2019 following the removal of my children after the bogus possession charges came back clean for all substances, strong evidence in my favor that I had not been using.
• A timeline of events in my case would provide a clear visual to outline the sluggish progression and questionable decision making process of the team under the leadership and direction of the DHS caseworker.

My Initial Response

Tell Me What You Think

I earnestly want to hear your opinion. I want to understand all sides. The only way we will be able to move forward as a society is if we take all sides into consideration as we work to figure out how to fix this.

Before I was able to finish this post, I began to write a second letter to Senator Ernst. I had some profound revelations that lead me to understand a better way of addressing all of the huge hurdles we face. Instead of pointing fingers and placing blame, we need to look to the future. In order to overcome all the challenging aspects, we need to have a complete understanding from all aspects.

No name calling or hurtful comments directed at a specific person please… Let’s have an honest discussion in the comments.

Sign My Petition

I am grateful that Senator Ernst is paying attention, but if we want our elected leaders to take this issue seriously, we need to stand together. I have put together a petition asking for a complete overhaul of the system in Iowa, and I need your help!

Update February 2025

BIG things have been happening since then. Just to recap since Fall 2023…

Some things were good, some were great…

Halloween 2023: Pumpkins for Family Preservation

I jumped into politics

Caucus 2024

Proud Member of the Libertarian Party!

Are You Sick of the Two Party System, too?

Update for February 2024

Ashley Meredith for Iowa House

A Little Photo Shoot

Interview with Political Lens

read more on the official website for
Ashley Meredith for Iowa House

I started publishing my courses!

Creating Holistic Goals

Protect Your Family

I wrote some great articles…

Key Points from the EMF Summit

Wastebook: The Infuriating Yearly Report on Wasteful Government Spending

The Raver’s Manifesto

The Twelve Universal Laws series

Rules for Civil Conversation

I published my 1st YouTube videos!

My Very First YouTube Video!

Remember, Remember the 5th of November: It’s Election Day!

New Video: My Testimony (They aren’t going to like this!)

And the 2024 Halloween tradition didn’t disappoint…

Halloween 2024: Five Years of Pumpkins Part 1

Halloween 2024: Five Years of Pumpkins Part 2

Halloween 2024: Five Years of Pumpkins SYFBD

But some things were… pretty freaking horrifying actually. My nightmares coming true…

Do They Read My Letters?

Five Years After the Hearing to Terminate my Parental Rights

Update to Senator Ernst

February 6, 2025

Today I typed up an update and submitted it to Senator Ernst on her website, pleading for her help.

Subject: Urgent Request for Assistance in Reinstating Parental Rights

Dear Senator Ernst,

I hope this message finds you well. I want to thank you again for your assistance asking Iowa DHS for more information in 2022. I am writing to provide an update on my situation and to seek your assistance in the reinstatement of my parental rights concerning my two sons.

I learned in July 2024 that Josh and Ashley Drew, the adoptive parents of my children, were facing serious charges related to child endangerment, and their phones and laptops were seized in February 2024. In December 2024, Josh pled to a lesser charge, while Ashley was convicted of felony child endangerment. A reporter recently contacted me about their upcoming sentencing hearing, and informed me that the child victim in their case “almost died, temporarily lost use of his legs, was way underweight… was locked in his room with nothing but urine and feces.” Notably, the other eight children in the home, including my two sons, appeared to have been well cared for. However, I am deeply concerned about the potential impact on their mental health due to possible exposure to such traumatic events and their prolonged separation from me over the past five years.

Given these developments, I am earnestly seeking guidance and support to initiate the process of reinstating my parental rights and reuniting with my children. I understand that Iowa law may not currently provide a direct mechanism for reinstatement after termination. However, considering the circumstances, I am hopeful that exceptions can be made or alternative legal avenues explored.

Your advocacy and assistance in this matter would be invaluable. I am committed to providing a safe and nurturing environment for my sons and believe that reestablishing our family bond is in their best interests.

Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to your response.

Sincerely,

Ashley Meredith

Support my work by sharing this blog post! Thank you in advance for your help spreading the word about this important information!

RELATED POSTS

6 responses to “DHS Offers Justifications to Senator Ernst”

1. Five Years after the Hearing to terminate my parental rights – Iridescent Alchemyst February 6, 2025 Edit

   […] through. She submitted an inquiry to Iowa DHS on my behalf. You can read my initial response to Senator Ernst after DHS Offers Justification to Senator Ernst. And if you read that email, you should definitely read the second one- Forgiveness is the way to […]

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2. My Message to Governor Reynolds – Ashley Meredith for Iowa House June 17, 2024 Edit

   […] more about how DHS justfied their actions and my initial response, how I was able to forgive, the wish I made for a Christmas miracle, and […]

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3. My Message to Governor Reynolds – Iridescent Alchemyst September 3, 2023 Edit

   […] more about how DHS justfied their actions and my initial response, how I was able to forgive, the wish I made for a Christmas miracle, and […]

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4. Writ of Quo Warranto – Iridescent Alchemyst November 29, 2022 Edit

   […] the letter I wrote in response when DHS Offers Justifications to Senator Ernst. Then read about all the forgiving I have done in the 2nd response letter I sent off days later: […]

   Reply
5. Forgiveness Is The Way To Freedom – Iridescent Alchemyst November 29, 2022 Edit

   […] will share the first email and attached letter in a related blog post titled “DHS Offers Justifications to Senator Ernst” Please also watch for another related post, “Thank You, Senator Ernst!” because I am eager […]

   Reply
6. The Parental Rights Movement – Iridescent Alchemyst August 30, 2022 Edit

   […] to Senator Joni Ernst, the department cited TWO unconfirmed, unfounded cases as part of their justification for terminating my parental rights! This means that not only are state workers wasting precious […]

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#1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #childAbusePrevention #childProtectionServices #childWelfareReform #familyPreservation #iowa #IowaDHHS #ParentsRights #stopLegalKidnapping

Five Years after the Hearing to terminate my parental rights

If you caught my story on Facebook or Snapchat a few weeks ago, then you already know.

Josh and Ashley Drew were scheduled to be at Washington County Courthouse for a pre-trial conference on Friday, November 22, 2024. Ironically, the last time I had seen them face-to-face was at my hearing to terminate my parental rights. Five years earlier TO THE DAY.

Road Trip

I got up early and put on my favorite dress. Jim and our friend, Melissa, and I hit the road at 08:11 AM. We struggle with making it anywhere on time, so I was proud of us.

My stomach was in knots the whole ride there.… One hour and six minutes. Sixty-three point eight miles…

I had been counting down to this date for months… Since I found out about their charges. I shared with you about them in my post Do They Read My Letters?

I prayed it hadn’t been continued! So I checked Iowa Courts Online again. (Love that site. Very useful! Look up my record while you are there- but I guarantee the slide show and accompanying blog post will be insanely more entertaining!!)

Nothing new had been posted… So I took another deep breath, lit a cigarette, and pulled out my phone to play some tunes. I have a playlist for my children- ‘I miss my babies‘- but I didn’t want to cry my makeup away. I needed to stay calm… try happy music.

Ok, Geordie Kieffer. His music always lifts my spirits! 🙂 So I set up a decent queue, secured my phone to the dash, and pulled out my bag. I brought some cards that I picked out especially for them, and I started writing.

/image- card for Josh
/image- card for Ashley

At the very least, I would give the cards to them. Or stick them under the wiper blade on their windshield if they wouldn’t talk to me… No, I had no intention of taking NO for an answer!

I took the selfies that you are seeing on the drive down to share what we were up to on my social media accounts. I thought a little extra positive energy for a good outcome wouldn’t hurt. And I needed it!

I was finally going to have the opportunity for a face-to-face conversation with the people that fostered, then adopted my sons. The people that had denied me contact with them since they were last taken from me on December 14, 2019.

I wanted to know WHY?!?! And I wanted to know WTH was going on. Class C Felonies for two people that barely had a speeding ticket before that. The way the charges were brought was weird, the crazy high bond amount they paid to get out of jail, the regular trips out of state, and the search warrants…? I couldn’t understand what had happened.

And… I hoped and prayed like hell that maybe…maybe I would get to see the boys. Noah will be 16 next month, Elijah will be 11. They were 10 and 5 when they were taken.

Pit Stop

There’s a little town right off Highway 218 about 30 minutes south of Coralville. There’s a truck stop sitting right there when you get off the exit. I had stopped there five and a half years ago, on the way to my son Elijah’s preschool graduation. I bought him the cutest little blue Owl for a gift.

We made a quick stop there on our way to Washington so I could run inside. I really hoped that I would find another little blue owl. It’s wasn’t Eli’s Sweetie Bird, but Sweetie Bird was long gone.

/image

I had another blue owl that was identical to it, just a little bigger, too. One for Eli, one for Noah. Grandpa bought it for me at Theisen’s over a year later. I cried when I saw it…

The two of them were hanging out in a bird cage alongside my grandmother’s birdfeeders at Jim’s lot the day the city “abated a nuisance.” And by that, I mean they stole all of our things…

I was cautiously optimistic that they would have the same stuffed animal. I check every Ty Beanie Boo display I come across at stores and gas stations. It was a 2019 edition, so I know it’s unlikely, but I check anyway.

They didn’t have blue owls, but they had two tiny black owls. They were dressed up for Halloween with little red sparkly horns. I meant to cut them off, but I just realized that I didn’t. I hope they didn’t read anything into that… facepalm.

The Courthouse

I lit another cigarette as we pulled into town. I watched nervously as our destination got closer on Google maps. We drove by the east side of the building and back around the block. As we turned the corner back onto west Main St, I pointed ahead and told Jim, “Park right beside a large van.”

I had never seen their vehicle before, but I had a strong feeling it was theirs. The bumper stickers on the back window were a dead giveaway, even if they didn’t have their name displayed. #DREWCREW

I finished my cigarette and mustered up the courage to go inside. Holding the envelopes in my hand, I pushed open the truck door and a strong cold wind instantly cooled the toasty warm cab. I muttered, “Wish me luck…” before slipping out and heading toward the door.

Once inside, I stood there for a minute to take some deep breaths. I had been rehearsing what I would say, trying to manifest the best possible outcome for months, but my mind was blank. A few people shuffled past me, coming and going in the little entryway, but I barely registered they were there.

The sign on the wall said COURTHOUSE 3RD FLOOR. I opted for the stairs; it gave me more time to think.

I wasn’t winded, but my heart was beating so loud when I reached the top step. I swear the people sitting there could hear it, but I kept my poker face on.

I stepped through the doorway and gazed clockwise around the room. Finally, to my right, seated in a little conference room, facing me, with the door open, was Josh. We locked eyes. I held his gaze and nodded slightly as I walked to the chair closest to him. My back to the doorway, I tried to listen in on the conversation as I sat there.

Just a couple minutes later, Josh walked out. He didn’t see me as he crossed the room and turned around to sit down, again facing me. As he sat, we locked eyes again. He paused for a moment, and a weird kind of smile crossed his face before taking his seat and pulling out his phone. I assume he was texting Ashley and confirming that it was me.

I snapped a quick picture of him and glanced up a couple times to see if I could make eye contact again while he pointedly avoided my stare. All of a sudden, tears started falling. I couldn’t even try to stop them.

Dammit, why didn’t I think of tissues?!

The woman sitting next to me glanced over and I felt all the eyes in the room when she said, “Oh my God, are you okay?”

I quietly told her yes and thanked her, hoping she would leave it at that. What would I say if she asked why I was crying, anyway?

Josh got up and walked back to the room where he’d been, avoiding eye contact as he walked.

I stared straight ahead, and the tears started again. I regret that I didn’t catch the name of the woman sitting next to me, but I am thankful she was there. We talked briefly and I don’t remember exactly what I said, but I tried my best to explain my situation, why I was there, and who that man was that looked at me when he sat down.

I kept my voice low as I answered her questions and listened to her story. A few minutes had passed and I felt bad for cutting her off mid-sentence to tell her that if they walked out, that I would have to go. All I could think about was if my time was running out, and my intuition proved to be right.

Not even a minute later, Josh walked out and turned to go down the stairs in a hurry. I looked at the woman and excused myself, then followed after him. I spoke his name as I reached the top of the stairs.

At first, he held out his hand and said, “I am not doing this now. I am not talking to you. And he continued down the stairs.”

Then I am sure he probably realized that I wouldn’t be so easily deterred… In hindsight I realize his primary objective was to get me away from his wife. Like I’m going to hurt her… Trust & believe that if I carried that much malice in my heart, it would have been done already!

I told him that I was parked right next to him so we might as well go outside, and moved to continue down the stairs. He responded that he was just going to use the restroom and stopped on the landing. I handed him the cards as I passed by.

When I turned to face him from several steps down, and I could see he was visibly upset. He tried to scold me for how selfish it was for me to show up like this on such a difficult day for him and his family.

I told him that wasn’t my intention, and that I didn’t know what else to do. I told him I wasn’t there to fight, I just want answers.

“And you pick TODAY! Without any consideration for our feelings!”

I really resent it when people assume that I haven’t considered their feelings! I have a deep understanding of psychology and social psychology. Plus I am an excellent overthinker and I have had NOTHING BUT TIME to think about everyone’s point of view. Just ONCE IN AWHILE, I would ask them to return the favor. When AM I allowed to express my feelings and it’s NOT a burden to everyone?

Big fat teardrops started falling out of my eyes when I said, “I miss my sons!”

I could hear the irritation in his voice when he asked how I thought it was a good idea… today of all days.

I asked him what other choice did they leave me.

They better not act like I haven’t tried to contact them! I even got a list of every phone number and email address known to be associated with them. And I know my emails were received and read! They opened both of them multiple times.

I shot back by asking if he knew what day it was, for me.

He softened a bit and shook his head slightly… I could see it on his face. He did know.

I said it anyway, “Five years ago today was the hearing to terminate my parental rights.”

He nodded, and I could tell that he was doing his best to keep his composure, but his stress level was palpable in the air. I put my hands in my pockets and felt the recorder I had brought with me.

I forgot to turn it on… Dammit, Ashley!

He said something again about it was a very stressful day for him, that court hearing in particular, and I was making it worse. They had to decide whether or not he would spend 10 years in prison, and how dare I pick today.

Yes, HOW INCONVENIENT for him… Like I don’t know the storm of emotions a person has walking in the door of a courthouse for a pretrial conference?! NOT FOR FELONY CHILD ENDANGERMENT I KNOW THAT!!!!

I was instantly filled with rage and despair, but I held my voice even and took a quick breath before I opened my mouth to speak again…

I reassured him again that I did not want to make things any more stressful, but I didn’t know what else to do. I saw a chance to confront them in a public place where it was “safe,” and I took it.

He couldn’t believe it. His arms fell out, palms up in front of him when he asked me, “So you really drove all the way down here today just for this?”

I knew the question before he finished, it was one I had anticipated, so I didnt hesitate as I squared up to him and looked him straight in the eye. “Yeah, I did…”

“What would you have done? Would you have rather I showed up at your home? Because don’t think I haven’t considered it dozens of times over the years.”

He was quick to say no, that wouldn’t be good.

“What do you expect me to do? I don’t know what’s going on! I just want to know that they are happy and healthy…”

His face was somber and he quietly reassured me, “They are…”

The tears kept coming, but I didn’t bother to wipe them away… “I am not the enemy. I am not against you. I do not want the charges to be true, and I do not want you to go to prison. I do not want my sons to endure any more trauma than they already have! I don’t want that for your family either!

Don’t think I don’t know how you feel right now… I call it living in the Void… When you can’t make plans beyond the next court date. When you have no idea what your life is gonna look like over the next couple years…”

I paused briefly and when he didn’t say anything, I continued, “I haven’t seen my sons in FIVE YEARS! I don’t know if my son even knows who I am… and I know you are terrified about that yourself right now…”

“And I know that you know the long term effects of cutting communication with the birth parents! I know that you do, because I have read the foster parent training!”

I can’t remember his exact wording, something about it being their choice.

I felt a tearing pain searing through my chest. I have no doubt the look on my face was the scary kind of calm that skips the music, but I managed to keep my voice quiet when I heard myself say, “Are you insinuating that my sons don’t want to talk to me?!”

I had wondered that several times before… crying into my pillow or Jim’s shoulder. He would always be quick to reassure me that it wasn’t true. But I wasn’t so sure. And Jim wasn’t there.

Josh started to share with me about his childhood and why they foster, because he grew up “in a not good home.”

I interrupted him to say, “I did too!”

He paused briefly to consider my response, then said something about reading all of the training. I am not sure what exactly he was trying to say, I wasn’t going to hear it.

“I have read the training, too, and the policy and procedures manuals. And I know everything they are doing wrong… better than they do. Do you even know that I used to teach people how to take care of their kids?“

Someone walking down the stairs from court passed us, and we paused to let them through. Then Josh motioned and said we should go outside. I turned and walked quietly down the stairs ahead of him.

I held the door behind me as took a few steps outside. It was a cool, breezy day, especially in the shade of the building. I pulled my coat tighter around me.

A man followed us out. He walked a few steps further out on the cement patio to the left of the door and slowly turned around. His face was softer when we made eye contact again.

The brief interlude gave us both a chance to regain some composure. Tears welled up in my eyes once again when I said,” I just want to tell them I am sorry that I failed them, that I didn’t protect them… I just want to tell them I love them…”

He sighed, “I can’t promise you anything. But I will take your address, and I will ask them if they want to write you, and… maybe send you a school picture.”

He held out the cards and pulled a pen out of his pocket.

I said, “okay” and wrote the address where I have been staying.

I was handing him back the envelope when the woman from upstairs walked out the door. I turned to face her when she said my name. She looked back and forth between Josh and I as she walked over, saying something about her ex not being very happy, some good outcome for her.  She hugged me and said, “I hope you get answers and things work out for you, too!”

“I’m glad things worked out for you! Thank you!”

I could feel Josh quietly watching our exchange. I glanced at him and back to her walking away. I turned and made eye contact again before I continued, “I am not a bad person. I was not a bad mother…”

He reassured me again that they are doing good, they are happy.

“My daughter isn’t speaking to me right now either. I know that I am just a reminder…”

My words trailed off and we just looked at each other for a moment longer. “I miss them so much…”

He let the words sit in the air between us for a couple seconds. “I will ask them to write you…”

He looked at the door, and I could tell he was going to start walking away… “But I got to get back up there.”

I wanted so badly to ask to see them, but the words caught in my chest as tears started falling again.

“Ok. Thank you. Good luck,” is all I could say.

And just like that, he was gone…

I pulled my coat tight around me and took deep breaths as I walked around the corner and down half a block to the truck. I slipped inside and quickly pulled the blanket over my legs.

Jim was walking the dog and Melissa was sitting in the back seat with her headphones on, dozing off.

I leaned forward and rested my face in my hands on my lap and listened to the wind blowing around the truck. I took several deep breaths before the sobs broke through. Our conversation echoed in my mind and I felt a hand patting my back, but I didn’t look up for awhile.

Jim and Luna got back a few minutes later. Jim started the truck and we sat there, quiet. I know they were waiting for me to give them some kind of sign or direction what to do next. A few minutes passed by when an idea struck me. I startled them when I sat up.

More Messages to Deliver

I pulled out my Surface and opened my email. Searching through the sent folder, I scanned the subjects and clicked on a message thread from August 11.

“Dr. Mr. Repp…”

I am incredibly quick and accurate at typing, but it took me a little longer than it should have because I chose my wording carefully. Looking back on the email today, I do see an error and of course I would word some things a little differently in hindsight, but I mean what I said. Both to Josh and to the Washington County Attorney that is prosecuting their case.

This is what I sent him that day.

Nov 22, 2024, 11:36 AM
to countyattorney

Dear Mr. Repp,

I know that you are not asking for my opinion, but I feel compelled to offer it anyway.

From what I understand, my sons Noah and Elijah are happy and healthy in their care. They are doing well in school and they are bonded with the other children in the home. Josh and Ashley Drew are good people. I am grateful that they were able to offer my sons a loving, stable home,and I know that they can provide them with a life that I cannot.

I do not know the specifics about this case, but I am hoping that you might consider speaking with my son Noah before you make a decision that could alter their lives forever. Perhaps the troubled youth that is the center of this situation was not truthful in his or her allegations? My heart breaks for that child as well, because I am sure that they have been through a lot, too.

I have no doubt that you are a wonderful person as well; I have heard from several people that you are a great county attorney. That you care and you’re work means so much more to you than a high conviction rate. I have faith that you would not want to send an innocent man to prison.

Josh and Ashley have opened their home to countless children and have made their lives a better by being part of it. And they could potentially help countless more children, but their family needs Josh to stay the strong, high functioning family unit that they have grown to be!!

I humbly ask that you take a minute to consider what I have written you today. I will be sending you loving energy and praying for divine guidance for you through this case, and all your cases.

Bless you, and thank you for the work that you do! You are appreciated!! ✌️💖

Sincerely yours,

Rev. Ashley Meredith, MSN

I hit send, and then I pulled out the cards that I had brought for Noah and Elijah. They were beautiful cards, carefully chosen specifically for each of them. I did not take pictures, but that’s okay. I had not thought about what I would write ahead of time and my mind was blank.

What could I say that I hadn’t written to them before in letters and cards that I sent? I had no idea where to start and everything I came up with just seemed so… pointless. So I just told them that I am sorry and I miss them and I love them. I signed them and tucked the envelope in, so Josh and Ashley could read what I wrote if they wanted.

If I understood Josh correctly, the boys didn’t want to hear from me anyway… That thought tears me up inside. I know I made mistakes, but I don’t feel like anyone deserves this!

What could I have possibly done? Or what do they think I did that they would be happier without me in their lives at all?

Five years is a long time to rake over every detail in my mind. I don’t do that nearly as often as I used to, but sometimes it consumes me…

That’s all folks…

That is all the information that I have for now… I have no right to know about the health and wellbeing of the children they stole from me. So, I guess I will just… wait.

My inner child is throwing herself on the floor, kicking and screaming, “I DON’T WANNA WAIT ANYMORE!!!”

Meanwhile, you might likely find my adultier present self with a blank stare, looking at the floor or the wall. I might have tested my body’s limits over the past several years, but trauma has f*cked me up more than any substance I ever put in my body…

Except maybe alcohol… that sh*t really f*cked my life up. And I am glad I don’t drink anymore. I feel like there should probably be a decent sized group of people that are also glad I do not drink anymore… I chose to face my demons and deal with them in a healthier way, that didn’t include prison time….

Anyways, enough of that side rant…. Stay tuned! I will let ya know when I know more!

Please pray for my family! And send positive thoughts and loving energy! We need them!

Thank you for your support!

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#childWelfareReform #DREWCREW #ElijahJohn #family #fiction #iowa #IowaDHHS #IowaFamilyRights #JusticeForMe3 #NoahScott #shortStories #shortStory #stopLegalKidnapping #WashingtonCounty #writing

When Good Intentions Go Wrong: The Monkey and the Fish

I wish I could remember where I first read this analogy.

What I do remember is how awe struck I was at its simplicity… yet how perfectly it captures the essence of the situation.

Tonight I decided to add a little flair and expand on the story with greater detail, so you can really get a sense of it. I enlisted the help of chatgpt’s image generator for photorealistic illustrations of the scenes. Perhaps I will make a short video of it as well…

The Monkey and the Fish

Imagine a vibrant jungle, alive with the sounds of chirping birds and rustling leaves. High above, in the thick branches of a sturdy tree, sits a curious monkey named Milo. His brown fur glistens under the dappled sunlight as he scans the sprawling landscape below with bright, inquisitive eyes. As he gazes down at the shimmering river that snakes through the forest floor, something catches his attention—a flash of silver amidst the rolling waves.

Milo leans closer to get a better look and notices a fish caught in a furious battle against the rushing current. It thrashes desperately, its scales glinting like precious jewels as it gasps for air. From his vantage point high above, it seems to Milo that this creature is trapped in an insurmountable struggle—tugged relentlessly by forces beyond its control.

The sight tugged at the monkey’s heartstrings—a creature so small and fragile caught in a tumultuous world that felt cruel and unforgiving. Driven by an instinctual compassion, he leaned over the edge of his perch, feeling powerful yet vulnerable as he reached down into the chaos.

“I will save you,” he thought earnestly. Without fully understanding the world beneath him—a world where water is life—the monkey scoops up the desperate fish from its watery home.

Holding it aloft, he feels a surge of accomplishment wash over him; surely this act will be seen as heroic!

With great care and a sense of accomplishment, Milo places his new friend high among the leafy branches where he believes it will be safe from danger.

But as moments passed in stillness while he waited for expressions of gratitude or relief to emerge from this aquatic creature now nestled amongst leaves and twigs, confusion began to cloud his mind.

Instead of calm acceptance or happy splashes against bark-covered limbs, he observed with growing alarm how the fish began to gasp even more violently than before. Its body flopped wildly; fins fluttered helplessly in search of freedom but found none amidst this foreign landscape far removed from its home.

Milo’s confusion deepens with each agonizing wriggle of his newfound companion. The smile slowly fades from his expression. Convinced that patience would yield understanding—that perhaps all it needed was time to adjust—the monkey clung tightly to his belief in having done right by intervening at all.

He quietly reassures himself that he has done the right thing— he did what he had to do—he removed the fish from danger! Yet deep down lies a creeping realization that eludes him: despite his good intentions, he has stripped away everything essential for survival—everything that defined what it meant to be a fish.

A Lesson in Perspective

In this poignant tale lies an essential lesson about empathy and understanding—how our best intentions can lead us astray when we fail to recognize others’ needs are different from our own survival instincts. As we navigate life’s challenges alongside those who may be struggling in currents unseen by us—whether they are fellow humans or creatures like our ill-fated fish—it is crucial we strive not only to act but also listen deeply before leaping into action.

Let us remember: true compassion comes not just from desire to help, but also through understanding—bridging worlds with wisdom rather than assumptions—to ensure every gesture truly serves its intended purpose rather than leading another toward despair disguised as rescue. Sometimes what we perceive as aid can inadvertently cause harm if we don’t take time to listen and learn about those we wish to help.

A Lesson for CPS

As Milo sits among the leaves, watching the fish struggle, he cannot comprehend why his actions have led to suffering instead of salvation. His intentions were pure, his heart was in the right place—but his lack of understanding has turned his help into harm.

This is the tragic flaw in many well-meaning interventions: the failure to recognize that survival and safety look different for different beings. What may seem like a desperate struggle from one perspective is often simply the natural rhythm of life from another. When we act based on assumptions rather than true understanding, we risk doing more damage than the very dangers we seek to prevent.

This same flawed reasoning can be seen in the actions of child protective services (CPS) workers who assume that removing children from their homes is always an act of rescue.

They see struggling families, mistaking hardship, poverty, or temporary crisis for unfit parenting. Instead of providing support to strengthen the family unit, they rip children from the only environment they have ever known, placing them in a foster system that often exposes them to more trauma, neglect, and abuse than they ever faced at home.

Just as the monkey could not see that water is life for a fish, these caseworkers fail to understand that a child’s greatest source of stability and identity is often their own family—even if that family is struggling. In their rush to “save,” they end up causing irreparable harm, just like the well-meaning but ignorant monkey.

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#assumptions #childAbuse #childWelfareReform #CivilRights #dhsCps #familyPreservation #FamilyRights #iowa #IowaDHHS #perspective #povertyNotNeglect #saveOurChildren #stopLegalKidnappingChildwelfarereformFamilypreservationParentalrightsSaveourchildrenIowaIowadhhs #Trauma #UnitedWeStand

This story offers a valuable lesson about perspective, understanding, and true compassion for anyone that seeks to intervene in the life of another, particularly for those in the child welfare field. #stoplegalkidnapping #childwelfarereform #familypreservation #parentalrights #saveourchildren #iowa #iowadhhs

https://iridescentalchemyst.wordpress.com/2025/02/03/the-monkey-and-the-fish/