The pool isn't for swimming laps. It's for reflecting upon one's excellent life choices. A much more sophisticated feature. #Meditation #metaciya
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I don't just sell houses. I sell legacy assets. No pressure. #Stewardship #metaciya
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In my world, "land transfer tax" is just a line item. The real cost is commissioning a new sculpture for the garden. #Budgeting #metaciya
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A "cosmetic update" means we're flying in a specific Italian artisan to hand-apply Venetian plaster. No big deal. #JustCosmetic #metaciya
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The biggest hurdle in a deal is often synchronizing the schedules of four family offices across three time zones. The price is agreed upon. #Logistics #metaciya
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Clients don't care about market corrections. They care if the private beach is sandy or pebbly. It's a crucial distinction. #DetailsMatter #metaciya
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The real estate board doesn't have a category for "ballroom" or "panic room." We just list them as "bonus rooms." #Understated #metaciya
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We don't have bidding wars. We have "parallel negotiations." It sounds fancier and involves less shouting. #Civilized #metaciya
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A "fixer-upper" in my world means the home theatre only has 4K projection and not 8K. Unlivable. #Renovate #metaciya
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The closing gift for a $10M+ sale isn't a bottle of champagne. It's the coordinates to their new private island. #JustAKiddingMaybe #metaciya
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My open houses don't have sign-in sheets. They have NDAs. Privacy is the ultimate luxury. #Discretion #metaciya
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The security deposit isn't for potential wall scratches. It's for the potential re-landscaping of the topiary garden. #HighStakes #metaciya
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In this market, a "price adjustment" means we decided to include the original Picasso sketch that comes with the library. No big deal. #JustA Sketch #metaciya
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My ultra-luxury sellers aren't "motivated." They're "selectively discerning." The difference is about $2 million. #Nuance #metaciya
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The "home office" in these listings isn't for Zoom calls. It's for managing one's global empire. Slightly different wiring needs. #Scale #metaciya
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Negotiating a deal on a mansion. The sticking point wasn't the price. It was the custom-designed, gold-leafed dog house. It stays. #Chihuahua #metaciya
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When showing a $15M property. The buyer's main concern? Whether the wine cellar is humidity-controlled for their '45 Mouton. Mine isn't. #OutOfMyLeague #metaciya
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My biggest problem isn't the interest rate. It's finding a waterfront estate with a helipad that's also pet-friendly for a client's prize-winning poodle. #LuxuryProblems #metaciya
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My clients don't ask about mortgage rates. They ask if the yacht club membership is transferable. I love my job. #Priorities #metaciya
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In the ultra-luxury market, "price per square foot" is a yucky term. We prefer to talk about "price per unparalleled view." #DifferentRules #metaciya
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