100€/400€ for estimated expenses for 30 days.
I'm in an extremely dire situation right now, and my life is at at all time low, and I unfortunately need to ask for help. please boost this post if you see it. please.
to start, for context, I'm from Portugal, but not from the mainland. I'm from the Azores, I live in 1 out of 9 islands in this tourist attraction hellhole in the middle of the Atlantic ocean.
I lived for 3-4 months on mainland Portugal, and they were the happiest times of my entire life. but then I got broken up with through text messages, my best friend, the only person I had that supported me 100% for almost 6 years, disappeared from my life, and I had to move back to my mom's house, after not living with parents for over 8 years of my life.
my mom is extremely mentally abusive to me. I don't want to go into further details because it's very traumatic to even think about it for me. it's like she's 2 different people. you can check the post this is a reply to for more stuff on how she makes me feel.
I'm unemployed, I've basically always been. all the jobs I tried (3 of them) I had to quit, because it fills me with a terror, a dread, a terrible feeling I can't even explain. I'm constantly extremely afraid of getting scolded for any mistake I might make, and then not be able to stop myself from breaking down crying.
I turned 29 years old not even a month ago, and I can't work. I still didn't start HRT because bureaucracy and bs. I live in a place full of extremely close minded people. I feel miserable. I need to buy and make my own food a lot of the time, and I can't even freaking do it.
my only income is through Prolific, which is an extremely unstable way of getting an income. (I can get lucky and get 100€ in one month, but I can also get under 5€ in one month)
on top of all that, I suffer a lot from a lot of depression and anxiety every single day, to a point where I cannot bring myself to do something that should be simple, like having a normal sleep schedule, or being able to shower when I should, etc.
those are the only things I have diagnosed and take medication for. I heavily suspect that I have some form of ADHD, and I'm certainly above the average on the autism spectrum, but all my tries to get any diagnosis of that were met with replies like my psychiatrist instantly looking up at me, and saying "you don't have autism for sure, and I really think ADHD is very very unlikely for you".
I'm asking for any donation you can make whatsoever, as even something like 5€ make a huge difference in my life, and is the difference from being able to buy something to eat in a day I'd really need it, or not.
my ultimate goal is to save up money to get the hell out of here. or at least enough to have my own apartment or something, but even here, the housing crisis is awful. and the problem with trying to save money is that I can never end up saving anything in the long run... I NEVER SPEND MONEY ON UNNECESSARY STUFF, and I always end up running out of money completely and having to go into any savings I try to have.
if I had at least ~400€ a month (way less than minimum wage) I'd be able to live way more comfortably, and probably be able to save some money, so that's my goal for now. every month I need to spend around 100€ on medication, 200€, but probably more, on food alone, 5€ for phone provider, and probably way more than 100€ on other groceries and stuff I need to buy sometimes. I even have to buy stuff like my own water, or milk, or clothes detergent for me to be able to wash my own clothes separately, because of how abusive my mom can be and use everything she does for you against you.
again, if you want more details of how bad my situation is, you can check the post this is a reply to.
PayPal is unfortunately the only online thing I can receive money through, but if you prefer, I can share my IBAN on DMs for a bank transfer.
https://paypal.me/justyellow7
thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart, for even reading and/or boosting this post, if that's all you can do.
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