Cobra Kai Actor Accused Of Biting Co-Star
Karate Kid actor and Cobra Kai star Martin Kove was asked to leave a fan convention after biting co-star Alicia Hannah-Kim so hard during a VIP meet-and-greet that he nearly drew blood, claiming that he “was being playful in the moment but went too far.” What do you think?
The post Cobra Kai Actor Accused Of Biting Co-Star appeared first on The Onion.
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https://theonion.com/cobra-kai-actor-accused-of-biting-co-star/
Every Trait Disqualifying ICE Agent From Previous Jobs Ideal For Current One
Slightly Older Sources Report If You Think Body Feels Bad Now, Just Wait
EAU CLAIRE, WI—Massaging their stiff shoulders and necks while remarking that they wish they’d known how good they had it when they were your age, slightly older sources reported Thursday that if you think your body feels bad now, just you wait. “Hoo boy, you might think things hurt already, but buckle up, because this …
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https://theonion.com/slightly-older-sources-report-if-you-think-body-feels-bad-now-just-wait/
Diddy Lawyer Tosses Jury Cîroc Swag During Closing Statement
NEW YORK—Shaking a logo-emblazoned cap enticingly over his head, a defense attorney for Sean “Diddy” Combs’ reportedly tossed jurors Cîroc-branded swag during closing statements Thursday in the 55-year-old music mogul’s racketeering and sex-trafficking trial. “All right, who wants a free towel?” lawyer Marc Agnifilo said as the men and women …
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https://theonion.com/diddy-lawyer-tosses-jury-ciroc-swag-during-closing-statement/
What To Know About ‘Love Island USA’
Love Island USA is in the midst of its seventh season. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the reality dating series. Q: What are the couples competing for? A: The forever-out-of-reach approval of a distant or absent authority figure. Q: What happens to contestants who get eliminated? A: They are chemically castrated. […]
The post What To Know About ‘Love Island USA’ appeared …
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https://theonion.com/what-to-know-about-love-island-usa/
Every Trait Disqualifying ICE Agent From Previous Jobs Ideal For Current One
WOODBINE, NJ—Saying the man’s behavior and temperament had helped him excel in a difficult environment, sources confirmed Thursday that every trait disqualifying ICE agent Jake Clements from previous jobs had made him ideal for his current role. Several reports indicated the 29-year-old high school graduate, wh…
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https://theonion.com/every-trait-disqualifying-ice-agent-from-previous-jobs-ideal-for-current-one/
Critics Praise Benson Boone Album As Finite
The post Critics Praise Benson Boone Album As Finite appeared first on The Onion.
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https://theonion.com/critics-praise-benson-boone-album-as-finite/
Q: So that’s your advice to Jeff Bezos?
A: Him, no, he shouldn’t. He should not do anything ever again. He should just stop whatever he’s doing.
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Bezos wedding guests given monogrammed plastic bottles to urinate in during ceremony
Bezos wedding guests given monogrammed plastic bottles to... #theonion #satire #bezos #amazon‘The Onion’ CEO on That Brutal ‘New York Times’ Op-Ed: ‘Expect Us in Weird Places’
Man Gets Stuck In Chimney While Trying To Rescue Dog Trapped In Building
Firefighters had to rescue a man who got stuck in the chimney of a Connecticut parks building while attempting to retrieve his dog from a bathroom when the doors automatically locked for the night. What do you think?
The post Man Gets Stuck In Chimney While Trying To Rescue Dog Trapped In Building appeared first on The…
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https://theonion.com/man-gets-stuck-in-chimney-while-trying-to-rescue-dog-trapped-in-building/
"Other headlines in the special issue include ,”Congress Passes Blank Bill For Trump To Write Whatever Law He Wants,” and “Think Tank Called ‘The Himmler Institute’ Assures Nation This All Legal.”
https://www.thehandbasket.co/p/exclusive-the-onion-nyt-ad-congress-cowardice
#news #media #nyt #congress #uspol #journalism #theonion #ad #iran
Jeff Bezos’ Italian Wedding By The Numbers
Jeff Bezos, Amazon founder and the world’s second richest man, wed his fiancé Lauren Sanchez in a lavish, multi-day ceremony this week in Venice, Italy. The Onion examines the facts and figures behind the event. 4,976: Number of Amazon fulfillment center workers who fainted on the job to make this possible 25: Yacht pileup in […]
The post Jeff Bezos’ Italian Wedding By The Numbe…
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https://theonion.com/jeff-bezos-italian-wedding-by-the-numbers/
Andrew Cuomo Subpoenas Gynecological Records Of Women Who Didn’t Vote For Him
The post Andrew Cuomo Subpoenas Gynecological Records Of Women Who Didn’t Vote For Him appeared first on The Onion.
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https://theonion.com/andrew-cuomo-subpoenas-gynecological-records-of-women-who-didnt-vote-for-him/
Bezos Wedding Guests Delighted By Amazon Worker With Ring Tied To Collar Crawling Down Aisle
VENICE, ITALY—Smiling at the couple’s lighthearted twist on a traditional ring bearer, guests at the wedding of Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sánchez were reportedly delighted this week by the sight of an Amazon worker with a ring tied to his collar crawling down the aisle. “Oh my gosh, …
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https://theonion.com/bezos-wedding-guests-delighted-by-amazon-worker-with-ring-tied-to-collar-crawling-down-aisle/
Bezos Wedding Guests Given Monogrammed Plastic Bottles To Urinate In During Ceremony
VENICE, ITALY—In a welcome bag filled with favors such as local chocolates, artisanal soaps, and scented candles, guests arriving for the wedding of Amazon founder Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sánchez this week were reportedly given monogrammed plastic bottles in which to urinate during the ceremony. “…
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https://theonion.com/bezos-wedding-guests-given-monogrammed-plastic-bottles-to-urinate-in-during-ceremony/
Bezos Wedding Guests Given Monogrammed Plastic Bottles To Urinate In During Ceremony
Improperly Dressed Applebee’s Diner Provided Loaner Stained Hoodie
BLOOMINGTON, IL—Stopping the polo-clad man and ushering him off toward the bathroom, restaurant staff reportedly provided an improperly dressed Applebee’s patron with a loaner stained hoodie on Wednesday. “I’m sorry, sir, but we cannot seat you unless you are wearing something more in line with this establishment’s dress code,” sai…
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https://theonion.com/improperly-dressed-applebees-diner-provided-loaner-stained-hoodie/
Parenting Experts Warn Babies Can Hydroplane In As Little As One Inch Of Water
ITHACA, NY—Stressing that even shallow puddles could undermine an infant’s traction, parenting experts at Cornell University published a report Wednesday in which they warned that babies could hydroplane in as little as one inch of water. “You have to watch infants and toddlers closely around water, because…
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https://theonion.com/parenting-experts-warn-babies-can-hydroplane-in-as-little-as-one-inch-of-water/
