First week of cold December
It’s Sunday and I’m on my way to see your grandma in Market Village. The plan had been to look after you in the Big City, as last weekend your mum stayed in River Town due to the rail disruption – I took the various replacements to River Town because your mum didn’t want to drive.
I’m keen to make the most of the day, but there will be a big Beloved shaped gap and I’m sure we’ll be talking about you.
Gifts for another time
I video called your grandma on Friday and I could see they were at the shops and had picked up some prezzies for you. We’ll have to find another opportunity to give them to you.
Your mum has stopped me from seeing your updates
Over the last months, I’ve been desperately trying to gather more info about you as your mum withholds everything and does the minimum to keep me updated on your milestones or anecdotes. She didn’t let me know about your first steps or words.
It may seem normal to you now however, many things in life have fairly recently been moved over to apps. In the past, nursery staff would keep parents up-to-date at the end of the day, when parents picked up their little ones, also by letters and phone calls. Now most nurseries input to a system that organises the updates for parents through an app. They add details like nappies, behaviour, events and lovely things like cute photos.
It’s completely normal for me to have access to this as it’s about you and there would be no reason to deny a father from these updates.
I informed your mum I required my details to be added alongside hers for everything relating to you. She didn’t respond to this so I informed her I would contact the GP and nursery directly. She didn’t respond or object (as she would have no right to).
After chasing the nursery who have taken a long time to arrange access and update your details, they emailed me to say that your mum wishes for me not to have access to the Family app. She doesn’t even want me to see the pictures of you playing or know how well you’re progressing.
Kids Centre Management – Janet at 16:14
Dear Father, Many thanks for your email. I have spoken to Mother and she has confirmed that she wishes for you not to have access to the Family app.
I sent your mum an email on Friday evening to insist on an explanation. Soon after, she sent me a message to tell me you were unwell and therefore I would not see you over the weekend. Sick or well I can’t give you a kiss or tell you I love you in person.
I had asked your mum to do a video call, so I could send you my love virtually, but she never responded.
Planning for court
In preparation for court next year, I met with our solicitor. We discussed the situation and she advised me on what to include in my parenting plan.
Versions of it have been shared with your mum however, as usual, I haven’t received a response. It includes things like sharing time with you and 50/50 time when we live in the same city.
I also discussed about learning your paternal family language, our solicitor explained that this is important for your heritage. I want you to have the language to speak with your family and all the opportunities it will give you in your future.
Last night at Jimmy’s bowling
A little while ago I thought it would be a good idea to plan something for my birthday. Not being with you makes each day difficult and the only thing that’s been getting me through is spending time with friends and keeping busy.
Jimmy’s is a quirky almost vintage-style venue just outside Elm Street station. It makes an ideal birthday party venue. During the day it’s packed with kids. I booked a couple of bowling games and last night the event finally arrived.
I spoke proudly about you and showed pictures to friends I hadn’t seen in a while and our friends Aaron and James were there taking a brief moment away from dad duties.
A evening with friends, it’s good to be distractedThings are really tough at the moment
This is another upsetting difficult week and as winter gets harsher there’s nothing more I would want than to cuddle up with you.
Listen through the podcast
https://open.spotify.com/episode/2PsL9OYruPB2v3z3x6hSZ4?si=H7x5VVe4TY6abXjzUiDnGw
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