Me (shopping around on #LexCorp): Mmm, this 12oz #YerbaMate gourd I got is just way too big. I can never finish it in a day. Oh, this 8oz one looks really nice! It's only $9!
*POOF* A winged, portly lady wearing sweatpants and a hoodie appears amidst a shimmering blue light, hovering in my room. She is holding a magic wand, which may actually be a miniature magical rubber stress-relieving mallet.
Me: "WHO ARE YOU?!?"
ACFG: "Why silly Dane, I'm your anti-consumerist fairy godmother!"
Me: "Anti-Consumerist Fairy Godmother!?"
ACFG: "Yes, but you don't have to capitalize my name. I'm chill."
Me: "Oh. Well, hi, anti-consumerist fairy godmother. What do you want??"
ACFG: "To bop you on your cute little forehead and to remind you that you don't HAVE to buy a new mate, you can just pour in less yerba, you lunkhead!"
*BONK!*
The world goes dark for a moment. Feeling slightly dizzy, I open my eyes. I close the amazon window and go on about my day.
#FediStory #Humor #AntiConsumerism #Consumerism