Day two as associate dean. This time I “fired” head count per request. Heads even more delicious roasted in dragon fire!

First day as associate dean at Enchanted Forest U. Was asked to reduce headcount. Ated seven heads! Told they meant fired. Got bonus anyway.

Tried to make the hoard a bit more comfortable. Funny story: feather toppers are flammable. Also, burning feathers…not the best smell.

You can't make a dragon without breaking a few eggs…well, one really, and I suppose that you aren't making the dragon technically, it's making an escape…hmm, I should have thought this through before I started writing it.

You get away from it for a while and you forget knight is the perfect food. Delicious, self-delivering, comes in its own cooking container, usually brings a skewer in case you to kebab it. You get the horse for bulk protein, and squire dessert… Art, it’s just art.

Had a nightmare that all the dwarves had started braiding arsenic crystals into their beards and that I would never taste dwarf again. I woke filled with existential dread. Then I figured if you can shuck a knight you can probably beard a dwarf. Whew!

Have been offered a position at Enchanted Forest University as Associate Dean for ateding administrative problems. Sounds legit. Also, delicious.

Was going down to the—SQUIRE! Wait what did I start—SQUIRE! Damn things are everywhere, running around the yard and—SQUIRE! Argh! Better ated it.

Cat says I should reconsider football scholarship—chance to ated entire teams of athletes limited in other venues. Hmmm…

OK, it's official, deans go on the do not ated list with unicorns and and wild haggis—burn and trample instead.

Turns out scholarship messenger was football coach. Angry Dean came to complain, so I ated him too. Terrible and rancid.

Dragon Doggerel:

No one knows a dragon’s woes.
The maiden missed, the knight she kissed.
That ma’amable so flammable.
Sad to say she got away.
And here I sit without a bit to eat.

Offered scholarship to local university. Ated it. Ated the messenger too. Considering ateding ivory tower…

Thinking about pitching another show to DRACO TV all about having a post-prandial drink and calling it ATED ENOUGH.

This might be my favorite episode of THE APPETIZER yet. We did it cooking show style and told them: “The secret ingredient is YOU.” You should have seen their faces! Am beginning to think I might be evil enough to really make it in reality TV.

Tried to get cat to go after horrible Toad in well. No luck. Cat says Toad slimy and poisonous, plus well equal water.

Toad moved into well outside cave today. Keeps making stupid noises. Everyone hates Toad, but no one able to dislodge it. Well too narrow. Stupid well.

Finishing up with the self help books Aunt Kayath sent me. DON’T EAT THE SMALL STUFF is the only one that makes a jot of sense. Catching pixies and gnomes burns more calories than they have in their whole bodies unless you can surprise a large group.

This whole self-help thing might be a racket. Actually tried to _read_ THE 7 HABITS OF HIGHLY VORACIOUS DRAGONS. It was like Fafnir and Nidhaug but for the fledged. See Fafnir fly. See Fafnir fly far! Fly Faffnir, fly! Fafnir ateds dwarves and takes their stuff!

Dragon Doggerel:

Dragons in the mist she hissed
Dragons from my past she gasped
Nearer farther slither hither, oh…
*horrible crunching sounds*