but do you ever gaze up at the stars and feel wonder bro

before he died David Lynch told me you're each supposed to send me 1000 dollars

Or falls out of a window if russia helps out

my newest conspiracy theory is that elon's about to blab about how he helped trump steal the election, and republicans are pushing his drug use so it's less suspicious when he dies suddenly of an "overdose"

That summer I spent watching 80's disaster movies is about to pay off big time

https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/british-columbia/honeybee-truck-overturn-bellingham-1.7549211

caught at the exact moment he was about to start shaking the water off. You can actually see the torque lol

ngl I'm enjoying the Pope v trump timeline very much

I promise this was not intentional. He walked over my daughter's freshly painted rainbow, and now I have a furry LGBTQ+ icon cat.

#catsofmastodon

oh no poor babies 😪

Inception

acab

I'm not changing any of my plans until I hear what the toad wants

Christopher Nolan's filming of Odysseus has finished 2 weeks early. Yet another example of him straying wildly from the original story.

biblically accurate cat

If you turn the two dolls you're allotted into voodoo dolls you can really put those five pencils to good use

Am about to enter the land of either giant ducks or tiny people. Could use either one tbh

American politician: *goes to El Salvador to find a kidnapping victim*

The American people: YES! This is exactly right. Thank you for showing courage and giving us hope.

The Democratic Party: we need to stop this

Christopher Nolan's filming of Odysseus has finished 2 weeks early. Yet another example of him straying wildly from the original story.

boss is mad at someone at work and the rest of us are over here like bird #3