Call me Atari, baby, because I’m basic and my memory is pretty limited and this joystick still works if you slap it just right

IT’S WEEKEND BEIGE, BITCHES!!

i did not miss "social media as therapists" and i hate to say after a 4 year gap of it i'm far less tolerant of people using it as their "everything is awful! here's something else awful!" place and am just muting out the wazoo at this point.

i know it's terrible and it's designed to be. the goal is to have constant outrage and attention. that's what sociopathic narcissists crave.

your options are basically make yourself insane paying attention to every piece of minutiae designed to make you insane, lay low and recognize when the big shit you can have some control over occurs (and sadly that's not going to happen a lot), or burn down a walmart.

but to see everyone lapse within 3 days to full "here's another thing! and another thing! and look at this thing! this thing sucks too! can you believe this thing! post post post post!" is really depressing for a site that's a bunch of nerds posting about moss and ducks.

so yeah, i'm cleansing my feed bit by bit because honestly, i don't need to feel like a lot of you are making yourselves feel. it is a choice you're making, and i'm choosing not to do it.

For the record, teleporters don’t look sparkly and swirly like on Star Trek. The actual effect is pretty boring: the person just isn’t there any more.

Also, the whole bringing the person back thing? Pure fiction.

"and sometimes it would cost you money to call someone in the same state"

"fuck you, Grandpa"

"oh and you were an accident, punk"

The United States has lasted a really long time for something that started out as an inside joke between George Washington and Thomas Jefferson.

Female sheep: plethora

Me: that means a lot coming from ewe

Wishing harm is a harmful thing

Agent Schilling said he got a message from a certain former and future First Lady asking him “Okay I crash ur place? I pay u best way, you know what I meaning 😘😜”

Agent Schilling said it’s not much different than her other texts, but this one was sent during President Carter’s memorial.

If you turn the lights low, stare into a mirror and chant

“Chimichangas
Chimichangas
Chimichangas,”

nothing bad happens, but now you want chimichangas even more.

Fedi is just Bluesky for old weird horny geniuses

We had a house full of fun last night. Three of the grands were here to open gifts. We are going to see the other three on Christmas Day. I love watching their faces when they see what we got them.

Also, our seventh grandchild I expected any day now!

Heart-eyes in the candy shop? That’s a sweet-cute

Gonna open a coin laundry and call it “NOT ALL WHO LAUNDER ARE WASHED”

me today

If you like this, please consider donating some cash to your instance admin for giving you access to pure gold like what I’m spinning here on my wheel.

I have got to get it together. I’ve had a flare since the Sunday after Thanksgiving.
I need a few alright days to get stuff done. Our family’s Christmas dinner is on the 21st. I always make homemade lasagna, salad, and goodies. I need to go through all of the gifts and make sure all of the grandkids have the same number of gifts. The tree isn’t up yet. That doesn’t panic me though. Then, if he waits, our newest grandson is due Dec 30. I always go in the delivery room with our daughter and her husband. It’s so precious. I just want to feel decent so I can be supportive for her. Then we will have their other three children until they come home.
Like I said, I’ve got to get it together.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but 365 bananas could get you some monkey accomplices to pull off one hilarious jewelry store smash and grab.

This Christmas spirit feels a lot like a migraine.

Feeling nothing but also needing lasagna