Lmst

🎄🎄Advent(ure) day 2 🎄🎄

And we are taking a moment to remember the unsuccessful ‘smile like you mean it’ customer service campaign.

No zygotic smiles were achieved.
#Museums #Christmas #Advent

Advent calendar day two includes a MOfP ‘smile like you mean it’ badge

@Richard_Littler personally we are huge fans of #LuckedOut - the storytelling is amazing, the fiction and fantasy elements are unreal.

All these people who have amazing cappuccinos that provoke thought.

We can only aspire

🎄🎄🎄Ho Ho Ho🎄🎄🎄

As we prepare for #Christmas each day MOfP will be opening another door in the #MuseumAdventCalendar !

What will we reveal? You’ll all just have to be good if you want to find out.

#FestiveFear
What has #Geoff got planned?

Advent calendar including snowflake covered museum portico

#Day30 and it’s #WhyMuseum30 ?

It could be the fixed term contracts?
Possibly the love of ambiguous situations and random acts of management?
Maybe the ridiculous vanity projects that get delivered.

But mostly it’s the typos and the mugs #Museums

For #day29 of #Museum30 the topic is #Storytelling - have you seen our ethics committee minutes?
#Museums

Minutes if the ethics committee (heavily redacted)

Ethics Committee minutes 22.11.22 Attendees: D Agenda: Retention o and the reasons we will be keeping them Repatriation delays preferences of Board Report. and the need to ignore the findings. AOB

#Day28 of #Museum30 is about #Walls

Our amazing new capital project (which is sucking all the time and money from everything else), includes designs for great walls. It’s the one element our architects were clear on. #Museums

A map of the new museum ЗАМОЕР Museum of forward plannine Exhibition space (no conservation systems) 3 toilets (interlinked) Random and unsustainable garden element Distance playground Un-serviced bar Toilet atrium Stairs (no upstairs space but add inaccessibility) Fountain (donations point) Ticket and Membership desk (no data or power) Covid safe café (3 tables only)ЗАМОЕР Museum of forward plannine Exhibition space (no conservation systems) 3 toilets (interlinked) Random and unsustainable garden element Distance playground Un-serviced bar Toilet atrium Stairs (no upstairs space but add inaccessibility) Fountain (donations point) Ticket and Membership desk (no data or power) Covid safe café (3 tables only)

Museum of Forward planning A future you can't imagine The time has come. Time to make the Museum of Forward Planning an imaginary reality. In the pages that follow we will take you (the gullible investor or patron) on a journey through our imagination, and right out the other side. MOP - the museum where operational planning comes to die. A space for fallen stanchions. Room to place buckets that catch the tears of Estate teams. Insufficient toilets and lifts that are INTENDED to fail! In one place, we will gather the failures, the vanity projects and the fallen egos of our sector. Follow us - if you can work out the orientation.

The plan (brochure page)

A capital build that Trustee dreams are made of, and Operational nightmares to come Somewhere for Geoffs / Jeffs to be Geoffs. Although no back of house facilities Toilets for some, but not all Spaces that are hard to navigate. An outdoor café space that's barely operational Museum of Forward planning

#Day27 of #Museum30 and it’s #Plan

We work in a museum!
Hahahahahahahhaha.
Brilliant. Love the optimism

#colleague today for #Museum30 and Geoff is always grateful for the ongoing support of the Catering (pork scratchings) sub committee and @RayGray_Snacks

Name badge forMuseum of Forward Planning

Hello my name is Geoff

** Visitor announcement **

We admit.
It was a mistake.

We’ve gathered up as much as we can and it will be available at the cloakroom for anyone affected to collect tomorrow.

We are grateful for your patience.
#Museums

#MuseumShopSunday is a great thing. Get out and support real #Museums through their #Shops

We also have a shop, because we are basically slowly becoming real.

WE DON’T SELL THE POSTCARD THE TRUSTEE WANTS

https://museum-of-forward-planning.myspreadshop.co.uk/

Black Friday
As Geoff continues to use the #Museum sociable media platform to support his new life-coach business.

Also, postcards are reduced.
#BlackFriday

Black Friday

What does it mean to you? Is it a chance to stock up on planet- destroying tat you can later throw away? Does the colour itself evoke the blackness within, the meaningless consumer-centric abyss hollowing out of society? Or will you, like Geoff, quit your job and charge people £430 per hour to coach them out of the darkness?

Despite being there alongside us ‘all the way’ and ‘in spirit’ or ‘cheering us from the sidelines’ many of our supportive colleagues have only been seen #Onscreen since early 2020 #Museum30 #Day24

An image featuring the muppets, of muppet show fame, all in their different arches at the start of the show - because it looks a lot like zoom

#Museum30 - today is #collage so Geoff made a collage using the most popular words here at MOfP

#Museums

A word cloud of the words most used on our Twitter feed ..Geoff Postcards less greater after unavailable often Helpdesk Tickets Meeting more Pork Espenie-Cate Outgoing-Head-of-HR Forward Look Planning enthusiasm yourself Doing MOSP Museum Scratchings

#Museum30 and today the prompt is #Orange

It’s taken some time to adapt but the whole Audit Committee here at MOfP have been pleased with the new shade of Orange we’ve chosen for the Risk Register.

We all sleep easier now it’s not covered in that negative red. #Museums

Risk Register Orange - written on a RED background

#Museum30 is all about #View and we have #Views so many #Views

In Geoff’s #view a lot of things need changing around here!

There’s [redacted] for a start who is a total [redacted]. The [redacted] which was the most [redacted] stupid [redacted] to date and that’s a high bar

Turns out Geoff has had a hiding place behind these faux #Bookshelves for years, he would have got away with it if it wasn’t for some pesky kids #Museum30 #museums

A hidden door, designed to look like a bookcase but now slightly ajar thanks to pesky kids

Our new approach to #Collections is the #CollectionsCarousel - we promise to get 100% of our collection on display**

Finally our merger of curatorial and maintenance has paid off!

**it may take several hours for the item you are waiting for to appear.

Our museum - containing an airport baggage carousel that now carries museum
Items such as the Mona Lisa, which now rotate to allow
More of the collection to be shown

If you never followed us at the old place - do check out our website for more #MuseumMadness

www.MOfP.co.uk

Light-Club FAQ’s

🎄will it go ahead if it rains?
🎄will it go ahead if it snows?

YES. Of course it bloody will.

🎄will it be a bit shit compared with Kew Gardens light trail?

YES. It’s £1,586.32 less per ticket, what exactly are you expecting.

#DontTalkAboutLightClub

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