Apparently living purposefully involves doing shit that scares you Shitless. Thus...., me. https://mastodon.network/media/Hgwy5VbaxqVR_-piFqM

When you wink so hard you cause a blackout.

"Hi", "Hey" and "Hello" all have completely different meanings. Trust me.

You know how you wake up famished and have the heartiest breakfast ever, leaving you feeling like you can take on the world? BRING ME THE NUKE CODES!

@lmorchard Doesn't it though?

@carolkimari learn to love the burn :)

@JThorne You are totally over the bend. No pun intended. 😂

@carolkimari oh fucking shit I forgot to respond. Uhmmi had a dream I was at work and my boss was a dick. So I fucked him. I'm not gay. But that was weird

I have a million underwears but only ever wear 5. Girls do that sometimes. Actually most times.

There are soft boy crushes, then there are the hit by a train, jaw drop, tongue on the floor, cry for your mama crushes. I’ll let you guess where I am right now. https://mastodon.network/media/GgsX0Xd48XMSoNsr77g

boys would be good if they weren't so bad

Apparently leg day is a thing. Fuck me!

I will have a large size sexy smart brain with my cuddle to go. Hold the sex.

@jeff Oh thank the heavens! I was lost.

At last…. It’s no longer awkward at the Smurf Village.

That incredibly awkward moment when you need teller services but have no clue how to behave in a banking hall coz truth be told the last time you were in the banking hall pineapple on pizza was a thing.

I once had a twitter bae. I need a Mastie bae. The heat would be off the chats! My pretty lil' imagines...

@carolkimari thought about showering today ... this also counts as showering on sundays

@bithive Apparently it's the thought that counts. As a shower.

I have just managed to convince my brain to convince my stomach that it is not hungry. It's gonna be an awesome day!