At some point the Walmart "greeter" stopped greeting people entering the store and became the "receipt checker" when they try to leave. And somehow we're supposed to be okay with that.

@georgetakei but he knew it was a wedding so still could have dressed up lol

@hotdogsladies I sure needed these that one time I bought wine, ice cream, and sleeping pills

Five Responses for When the Cashier Asks You a Weirdly Invasive Question About Your Purchases

1. I am slowly poisoning a disloyal business associate.

2. My doctor says I need all of this for my poop.

3. The tequila is for my new baby. His name is Brandon, and I love him very much.

4. [smiling broadly and leaning way in] I’m making YOU a special surprise. Todd.

5. I have a lot of personal problems.

The only thing we have to fear is all the very reasonable things to fear

Please do not gaze upon my works and despair! I worked really hard on them

@batkaren there are rules, people

OH MY GOD SEATTLE

Sometimes the #cowboys need a break ok guys

@GuyDudeman it was pretty good til it got to "she sang like a bird and looked like a bird and Brenda was a bird" and at that point it became legend

Others: calling calling calling
Me: ...
Others: ok I'll text instead
Me: [an appropriate amount of time later] hey, got your message
Others: calling calling calling again

Normalize saying "I don’t know enough about the topic to be able to comment."

@RickiTarr For All Mankind on Apple--it's a revised history based on "what if the space race never ended." I haven't started watching the latest season yet, but the first 3 seasons are outstanding.

@JillianMHurley his shoes are longer than his feet

@MissPixiePancake whoever picked 17 is bananas

What are you guys getting your Lover this year?

Making members of an ethnic group walk for miles and miles because otherwise you’ll kill them has been done before, and the perpetrators aren’t remembered as the good guys.

What are the elderly, disabled, injured, sick, dehydrated, and very young people supposed to do?

Never again is now, for everyone.

#CeasefireNow

😤 @MicahhParsons11@twitter.com 🍽️

Why do we have one word--"oversight"--that means the act of overseeing something but also means forgetting to notice something