shel silverstein on the LLM, 1981

The best friend I ever had died last spring. Today would have been his birthday. I feel like he would have liked turning 49 because it's a perfect square, 7x7.

Erik once told me that he liked obsessing over numbers because it seemed a harmless place to situate whatever lizard brain superstition was rolling around in his head. As someone who needs to immediately determine whether numbers in a license plate are evenly divisible by three, this made perfect sense to me.

Erik was a big believer that stereos with digital volume controls should only be set to even numbers, though perfect squares like 25 or 49 would work in a pinch, too.

When I listen to music today, I'm going to turn it all the way up for Erik. But only to the highest available even number.

I am not emotionally prepared for the puppy we added to our family during the pandemic to be reaching middle age.

https://mltshp.com/p/1R2WI “this isn't funny anymore”
#alt4me

Just had our third credit card number since December stolen, all in separate incidents.

In search of gifs that represent the feeling of nervously smiling while capitalist society collapses around you.

@ryan Gonna take shots at teenaged neighbor boys with my rocket propelled deodorant launcher.

@jbburd

"Arbitrarily detained"... They're hostages.

@wohali

The earth is healing.

@adamrice Oh I figure he'll get there at some point. But it will be as stupid and obvious as everything else he does. It won't be one you need special sources to uncover. It will be like that guy in the other hemisphere whose critics all fall out of windows or accidentally ingest polonium.

At least we know he still doesn't have the ability to just have critics or opponents killed on a whim.

Because if he did, you know that he would.

So when people "SURELY THIS!" yet again at the DT/EM feud, am I allowed to just chloroform them and put them into storage? Because I can't do this again. Nothing stops this stupid train.

@micchiato The Barstool people are a pox on sports culture.

The number of scrolls it's taking to select my birth year these days is unsettling.

@micchiato

Awful.

But you left out the immediate karmic blowback...

Andrew Fischer crushed a home run immediately after the Wake Forest coach called him that slur.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DKa4WzxMrBY/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

Paisley is just paramecium, but make it fashion.

Adult Swifties are the only fanbase I can think of that seems to believe being a fan while middle-aged or older is an achievement or a mark of good character in some way. Similarly, they are insistent that when other people say why she's not for them, it will be necessary to argue against those reasons. A non-fan is just someone hasn't tried hard enough to let Taylor into their heart. They just need the right playlist.

Like, no one does that for Lizzo or Megan Thee Stallion.

I think Taylor Swift seems neat. Clearly very talented. I get why people like her. I am happy for her and for them. People should get to like things!

But why do adult fans of Taylor Swift seem to insist that your only choices are to deny her or join her fanbase?

Like, She's cool. Enjoy! But I'm going to pull out my vintage iPod and listen to the same damned GBV and soul records again. I am nearly fifty years old and I am allowed to do that.

My current favorite form of being old is belatedly getting into indie/alt bands from the 1990's that I didn't like at the time because they weren't scuzzy or lo-fi or sad enough. Very late to the Jesus and Mary Chain but loving them.

Another movie at AMC, another day of being annoyed at the Coke commercial where the one woman inexplicably has an old school Coca Cola glass în the theater.