me when I read about something bad in Ohio: of course. that place sucks.

me when I read about something good in Ohio: too bad. that place sucks.

@nancycomics for the younger folks who might be confused "hanging up" is like "logging off"

I'll ask ChatGPT leading questions hoping to catch it off guard. so far, unfazed.

my calendar may say Sunday is the first day of the week, but Monday is the first day of the week in my heart

@jhv @eric the fake is a lie

I'm sorry to break it to you but those stadium fan cams are fake. all of them. in fact you were the only one there. there was no game. there was no crowd. just you.

ahh "fit" is short for "outfit"

what is Cheryl Hines's deal

"hazmat" you lazy ass abbreviation

so far this season of Poker Face has been good for at least one genuine lol per episode

you never know when you're going to need to sink the 8-ball in the corner pocket to win the respect of those hardened townies

you ever start looking for your phone and then realize "duh, it's right here in my rectum!"

we are all going to die; not all of us are truly going to get lucrative government contracts and a tax break

she's a 10 but she always gets the quote a liiittle bit wrong

can everyone stop speaking in "code"? I want to know what's up.

can everyone stop speaking in "code"? I want to know what's up.

I treat all of you like I treat household chores; if you annoy me I will ignore you for two weeks to teach you a lesson.

who has some investor capital for my new startup, OrgCheart <3 -- the app for lining up combination job interviews / dates??

reposting during peak hours is not recommended. people don't appreciate reading a 1am post at 3pm. it's a shock.

I am trying out a unified bluesky and mastodon app. it's cozy, all my friends in one place. heart.