How the hell have I been on mastodon for 8 years

Hook worm and sinker

dog carcass in alley this morning, tire tread on burst stomach

There’s a parody of the Breeders’ Safari to be written about Minbari or shibari, but I’m not doing it.

Tár enters the speed force

Heartburn feels good in a place like this

Scott Baio going jerk kneecapped the Diagnosis Murder meme machine

Columbo seems to currently occupy that same Internet culture space that bacon did years ago

My new neighbor is a vigilant citizen and wanted to talk to me about Beyoncé sacrificing babies.

Does the slipknot festival have a meeple = shit board game tent?

The Art Carney Situation

I missed whatever happened that made the Price Master video blow up recently, but the top search result for it is now for a site called brobible.

@root2702 definitely guns in the sky

https://youtu.be/EK4P635n6UU

@root2702 definitely! But without all the electrodes inside, it was the more comfortable of the two!

I don’t remember how to do this.

My thing on Twitter was never changing my user icon ever. And now I feel I’m stuck with this wack afterthought one from whenever I first signed up here.

Around 2010 there was this dude who looked exactly like Elliot Smith and had a story about meeting Dio. This guy offered to sell me his CD which I expected would sound either like Smith or Dio, but it ended up being the most behind the times pop punk ever. Maybe the worst CD I ever bought.

A guy I went to elementary school just called me “baby” in an out of the blue dm on fb, then he sent another to clarify that his girlfriend actually typed just that part of the message.