helplessduck

I was once called the terror that quacks in the night.
Mortal enemies: commas, typos, bigotry, fascism, asymmetry, ultra-processed foods.
Call me: He/Him/Michael/Arrogant Jackass.
No particular order to any part of my life.

Follow me for clever tricks, miserable advice, and pedantic tomfoolery.

AVI: Poorly drawn beige duck on a white background with his eyebrows furrowed.

2025-07-02

I thought it was bread and roses?
I'd much rather have bread and roses.

2025-07-02

@MishaVanMollusq

[replays Archer for 9,833,126,654 time]

2025-07-02

[scoff]

I'm pretty sure time is transparent to begin with.

2025-07-02

@MishaVanMollusq

Fold space and time? In this economy I can't even fold my clothes.

2025-07-02

I like to pack so many Hot Tamales cinnamon candies into my mouth that my ears hurt.

2025-07-02

@MishaVanMollusq @farah @thejikz

Yes.
Just end it.

2025-07-02

Friends?

I can't even get emotionally invested in a new tee vee program.

2025-07-02

@farah @thejikz

I JUST WANT OFF THIS PLANET

helplessduck boosted:
2025-07-02

I mean, nothing else is working so why not?

Image of the cartoon robot Bender saying, "We'll start our own Democratic Party with blackjack and hookers."
2025-07-01

@farah

I don't know how valuable I am, but I offer myself as tribute.

2025-07-01

@Thatmermaid_J

Aww. Every time I see a picture of that on this website, I'm tempted to get Ramses a kitten/guilt stricken that I didn't.

Then I remember what two of them working in tandem are like and thank my lucky stars she's so loosely screwed together in the head that she is capable of entertaining herself for hours with a six inch length of yarn.

2025-07-01

@mooseandriosmom

oooooOOoo! Way to find a plug! You'd have top of the line cocaine, I'll bet!

2025-07-01

@mooseandriosmom

It may just be that I'm being haunted by Hello Dolly, which is only half as bad.

2025-07-01

That's weird. I keep hoping FOR fallout.
The only way out of this is fighting or heat death. Unfortunately, if we do fight and win, we still have heat death to look forward to. So, I'm asking for the easy way out.
North Korea, are you listening?

2025-07-01

Starting to think I'm haunted by the ghost of Carol Channing.

How freakin' awesome would that be?

2025-07-01

@kimlockhartga

Soppressata, pancetta, feta, mozz.

2025-07-01

@kimlockhartga

I just ate a pizza.

2025-07-01

@Kierkegaanks @farah

And some light reading to steel you for getting through dinner.
traumbooks.itch.io/the-sad-bas

2025-07-01

The sensor (?) for the automatic backlight in the keyboard is in the space bar or bottom of the keyboard chassis so my big squishy palm rest is out, switched for the low-profile rest that came with the combo. I love the way it looks, and so far it seems plenty comfy, although I imagine it can't be as comfy as the pillowy memory foam of the old rest. Certainly easier to clean.
I can also confirm that the thumb wheel on the mouse is super useful to adjust brush size in Photoshop. I'm getting used to the extra light touch for the main two buttons.

Client Info

Server: https://mastodon.social
Version: 2025.04
Repository: https://github.com/cyevgeniy/lmst