Guy in the room when the Emperor of the French audibly passes gas:

“More like Napoleon Blown-a-Fart”

[eagerly solicits high fives from members of the Imperial Guard]

Kid just referred to the men’s group I attend as my “gentlemen’s club”.

🫨 My manager told me, "Michael, your goal of having more than 100% of your code written by AI is not only impossible, it's also #incoherent."

🩸 Another colleague asked, "Are you doing ok, buddy? Hey, is that #blood trickling out of your ear?!"

💻 But did Steve Jobs didn't listen to the #haters? No. And neither do I.

✨ Follow for more tips. ✨

📈 I am thrilled to announce that after months of optimization and refining my #AI workflows, 120% of my code is now written by #AI.

💯 Breaking the 100 barrier was not easy… 🧵

My advanced degree in philosophy doesn’t do much for me these days.

But I guess there’s this…

My kid just asked me,

“Wait, is my right leg *always* my right leg?”

Now I’m sitting here paralyzed wondering whether the answer is true a priori or a posteriori.

So that’s one benefit.

My advanced degree in philosophy doesn’t do much for me these days.

But I guess there’s this…

My kid just asked me,

“Wait, is my right leg *always* my right leg?”

Now I’m sitting here paralyzed wondering whether the answer is true a priori or a posteriori.

So that’s one benefit.

How come they called them “ironclads” and not “steel cut boats”?

@hyperpape By the transitive property, we all have a little dirt as a treat.

@hoffm Ok, I’ve been corrected. I think it might be arguably true that they eat mostly water and air, with just a little bit of dirt as a treat.

I have a good idea for the economy: Let’s (1) fire everyone—I know, I know, but just wait for the second part—and (2) make everything more expensive.

You just eat water and fucking, what? Light?!? Not buying it, plants.

Nothing in a movie makes me more anxious than when a character incompetently chops up a whole carrot.

Omit needless words.

Absolutely my b for never learning about all the cool and important parts of the federal govt, but this is a real shitty way to teach me.

@AnarchoNeighbor @dpnash @SRDas @hoffm bonus: that one works in Spanish (diez letras) and French (dix lettres)

Omit needless words.

“eleven letters” is 13 letters
“twelve letters” is 13 letters
“thirteen letters” is 15 letters
“fourteen letters” is 15 letters
“fifteen letters” is 14 letters
“sixteen letters” is 14 letters
“seventeen letters” is 16 letters
“eighteen letters” is 15 letters
“nineteen letters” is 15 letters

fuck

@hoffm "ten letters" is 10 letters!

@hoffm As a kid I had a book of math games that included one about the words for numbers like this. You pick a number (e.g. 10) then count the letters in the word (10 -> ten -> 3 letters), then move to that number (3) and do it again until it loops (3 -> three -> 5 letters etc). You can do this with any sized number and it loops eventually

This is the kind of game I used to play to pass the time waiting for the bus

France gets friggin EVERYTHING
https://mstdn.social/@mattmay/114034223757018387