Seattleites Enjoy Perfect First Day of Summer: https://theneedling.com/2025/05/29/seattleites-enjoy-perfect-weather-for-first-day-of-summer/

It's either this, or all the time

#adhd #adhdmeme #meme #nutrituin

Wow, rare Hacker News W:

This is the true problem with AI. It's with who owns it, and what they will inevitably use it for. Whether it can do cool stuff with code or equal a junior developer is irrelevant. What it can do is less important than what it will be used for.

The owning class will use it to reduce payroll costs, which from their perspective is a cost center and always will be. If you're not an owner, then you have no control over the direction or use of AI. You are doomed to have your life disrupted and changed by it, with no input whatsoever. To quote the article, your six shillings a day can become six shillings a week, and you are left to just deal with it however you can. You are "free" to go find some other six shilling a week job. If you can.

And if you think, "Oh, every technology is like this, it's always been this way", you are right. You have always been at the whims of the owning class, and barring a change towards economic democracy, where average people regain control over their lives, it likely always will be.

Probably the hardest part of my transition so far: Learning to "detect"/accept my own emotions in a timely matter and then "daring" to react on them before they accumulate and can't be ignored anymore. With the side effect that the reaction is most likely more extreme than it would have been necessary if I had reacted earlier.
I think I am slowly getting a bit better, but still a long way to go.

@doppelgrau Oof, I feel this one. I'm still very much working on this.

See the counterpoint to the bigot is one of our other peers, who asked me out for beers because he wanted to hear my story. We talked for five hours, and I told him how my egg cracked and how I struggled to come to terms with my identity, to coming out to my children and eventually coming out at work. I made him cry, and he told me how incredible and beautiful my story is.

This dude is so excited for me, he said he’s noticed how much more alive I’ve seemed just in the last week since coming out to the team. We talked about the bigot a little even, and y’all…

“I can promise you that no one will ever think that I’m a safe person to talk negatively to about you. Ever. I have your back no matter what.”

. . .

There are good - no… GREAT - allies out there. Being visible helps them to find us.

And believe me, their joy for you, their support for you, will outweigh the voices of the detractors. I was given an unbelievable gift, I’m not even sure I see being trans as a curse anymore. My life just started.

New millennial main

@faithisleaping @itsVague

> …getting you to frame things in their favor is part of the brainwashing. This is why Christians focus on forgiveness rather than repentance. Repentance requires that they change and take accountability for the harm they cause. Forgiveness means they can do whatever they want and it's on you to tell whatever lies to yourself you need to not be mad at them.

Spot on. It requires a paradigm shift, and one that many of us are much better off for.

@itsVague @faithisleaping It takes some developing, but the biggest revelation for me was that *causing hurt* doesn't require *intending* to cause hurt. Accountability for causing hurt, even if there's an explanation, isn't something a lot of us grow up seeing, unfortunately.

You can hold space for the "why" and hold space for the hurt. Both are true, and neither undoes the other.

My fellow ladies, check this asshole out

https://futurism.com/president-signal-mansplain-ai

I love that cats that aren’t domesticated don’t meow when they grow up, but domesticated cats do because they learned humans don’t understand their natural communication, so they keep meowing beyond the kitten stage just for us. So basically cats made up a language just to talk to us. And that language is essentially baby talk.

There's a "sub nets" joke in here somewhere, but I can't quite make it fit.

(Guess I need a size larger.)

@Jaytee I know this was supposed to be a reply to something, but I have to say I agree with all of this.

I think a lot of folks who start to chip at their gender identity see a set of scripts they have to follow about "how to be trans" and feel like they're not doing something right if they don't follow that script.

The *whole point* of queerness is pushing back on those scripts. So yeah, go at your own pace. Be yourself. If the script doesn't fit you, don't force yourself to follow it. You just did that with a different script, remember?

@faithisleaping Folks like us don't have the luxury of being able to paint the more complicated picture, and as kids, that complexity was lost to us anyway.

My mom has always suffered from a mood disorder, as far as I can tell, and my dad dealt with lifelong anxiety that made it all but impossible for him to push back on my mom's behavior. Both of them were raised in very religious households and didn't really have the opportunity to question the fundamentals of their views when they had to start thinking about raising me.

On the flip side, though, they chose to continue in their ways. They chose not to listen to the other adults I interacted with who told them there was more to my constant "misbehavior." They chose to raise their voices and their hands against each other, my sister, and me.

I used to feel a twinge of guilt about not painting the full picture, but I also know now (as an adult myself) that accountability for behavior is more important than the reasons for behavior. It doesn't matter *why* we hurt someone; if we hurt someone, it's on us to acknowledge that and do better,

I don't spent time painting the complicated picture these days.

@faithisleaping Very felt. My mom looked for every opportunity to remind us that "we would be nothing without her." I remember not fully buying that as a kid, but not quite being able to put my finger on why I didn't buy it.

I wonder what she tells herself these days? She went off the deep end so hard that my father and sister have a permanent no-contact PFA, and I am half a country away. I'm sure she has some story about how none of us appreciated all of her effort, and how a lack of religiosity turned us against her.

> But also, ya'know what my biggest accomplishment in life is? […] It's transition and healing from the trauma of their brainwashing.

I very much have to echo this. Being able to get out of that situation, to see my trauma for what it is, to start to heal it in places, to find myself and start advocating for my own wants/needs…those are things *I* had to do.

@itsVague Laser will reduce facial hair but probably not permanently get rid of it. Electrolysis can be permanent, but you will need a *lot* more sessions to cover the same area of your face.

My electrolysis tech used to work at a laser clinic, and her suggestion was: Do a laser treatment for the bulk of it and to reduce appearance, then go back to electrolysis to clean things up. Having taken that approach, I can attest this is probably the way to go.

I'm sort of with you on my facial hair. There are some times it can feel sort of affirming, and other times I want it off of my face right now. I think answering the "Is it worth it?" question is going to depend on cost, available options in your area, and how often that coin flips for you.

@faithisleaping > When we do go back and see people from back then, the assumption is that we're so glad we came home or somesuch.

Heh, felt. My response these days when people ask "Do you miss living in Kansas?" is "I only miss the people I care about and the food."

@itsVague

@faithisleaping > The liberating (in a cry about it all night sort of way) thing I've found, though, is that they never did see me for who I am. Even if I were cis, they still didn't see me. They've been projecting my whole life. Realizing that has given me a lot of freedom and a lot of tears. 😭

This is really well said. I've met very few parents that are *good* at differentiating themselves from their kids. They raise their kids with some kind of image, and then end up distressed when that image doesn't align with reality. The "good parents" are able to check themselves, even if they don't address the underlying image they continue to project. The not-so-good parents…get talked about on Mastodon, I guess. 😆