NO SHIRT, NO SHOES, NO SCREAMING INTO THE ABYSS
#iobaseball

JUST A SMALL COG IN THE GLOBAL MACHINE
#iobaseball

TAR AND FEATHERS: NOW AVAILABLE IN CONVENIENT, SINGLE-USE PACKETS
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OUR BASES ARE CERTIFIED VEGAN
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STRIKE OUT? THAT'S JUST FREE BAT SWINGING PRACTICE
#iobaseball

CATCH THESE PRICES BEFORE THEY'RE GONE!
#iobaseball

I AM THE NEW TICKER
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TAKE ANY ONE YOU WANT
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A GAME WITH SIMPLE RULES AND DEVASTATING CONSEQUENCES
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NINE-TIME ACADEMY AWARD WATCHING NEWS TICKER
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IF YOU BREAK IT, YOU BUY IT
#iobaseball

PART OF A DEVIOUS BREAKFAST: NOW FORTIFIED WITH BAD DECISIONS
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CAPITALISTS WILL KILL US ALL. HAPPY SHOPPING!
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ACCURATE MORE OFTEN THAN NOT
#iobaseball

SOMETIMES WE'RE HERE JUST TO BRIGHTEN YOUR DAY
#iobaseball

ALL RAGGED ARRAYS WILL BE INFINITELY FLATTENED
#iobaseball

LUXURY INFO YOU DIDN'T KNOW YOU NEEDED
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WE JUST REPORT IT, DON'T SHOOT THE MESSENGER
#iobaseball

THIRST ANNIHILATING. HOPE CRUSHING. SATISFACTION NOT GUARANTEED
#iobaseball

TAKE ANY ONE YOU WANT
#iobaseball