@mjg59 big assumptions that he can cum or put on sweatpants

chekov’s opportunistic encryption

chekov’s trust on first use

chekov’s reused initialisation vector

chekov’s improvised rng

there’s so many jokes to be made here

as cryptographers we are steadily running out of dr who references, i suggest we switch to star trek

chekov’s gun is a star trek reference and nobody can tell me otherwise

@realwolfpupy@twitter.com anyway, fuck the blue haired false ally transphobic homophobic cryptobro

at one point he did a thing which resulted in me projectile vomiting because i was pretty sure he had broken both of @realwolfpupy@twitter.com’s hind legs despite me begging him to stop and him repeatedly telling me that it was fine and that i didn’t know what i was talking about

i should probably at some point take time to contact his investors and ensure that he does not ever secure another round

dude was the worst mistake i’ve ever made in my life, and i’m sorry i introduced him to people in my field, i’m sorry i had my company get him an american work visa, and i’m sorry i taught him to code, and i’m sorry i got him his first four internships and jobs

apple photos just decided to make a “memory” of a series of selfies from 2016-2018 where i was documenting instances of how my abusive shitty cryptographer ex had injured me, including hitting me in the face with a chair ☹️

he thought i’m a boy he didn’t yell at me for being topless in public 🥺

for the first time a seventy year old man just saw me dive into rapids topless and then hike back up a ravine and bless his sweet soul, he said, “might fine dog you got there, son, and you know your way around them waters well” and i nearly cried

the soup still tastes good though, it’s like, what do the french call it? soupe fumée

amazing honestly that anyone allows me to touch a computer

i managed to somehow light my can of soup on fire, again, rip my air purifier

i should probably have more fear of god and nature in me,

the r/thalassophobia subreddit—and i’m trying real hard here to be respectful of people’s legit fears of open/deep waters—it really gets me because as someone who regularly sneaks off ships at night alone to swim with sharks i am like YES PUT ME IN THE PICTURED SITUATION

“there are more planes in the ocean than submarines in the air”

small poe the size of a large poe

send me your best saw and mill takes, i am looking for a good probably miter or other mounted table saw and an alaskan mill

if anyone needs me, or is expecting anything of me today, my apologies, but there was an accident last night where i tried to split apart two fighting dogs and wound up getting bit in the face and then had to suture my lip back together and spat up blood most of the night