Over the weekend, this blog will be moving to my portfolio host, and I’ll be revealing details on the projects that have kept me busy lately!! – Jack Tweet https://kthejourney.selfhosting.rocks/2019/11/29/coming-soon-2/

Highlight: Ketamine: A New (and Faster) Path to Treating Depression — Read on www.nimh.nih.gov/about/strategic-planning-reports/highlights/highlight-ketamine-a-new-and-faster-path-to-treating-depression.shtml Tweet https://kthejourney.selfhosting.rocks/2019/09/21/nimh-highlight-ketamine-a-new-and-faster-path-to-treating-depression/

NIH-supported study sheds light on the neural mechanisms underlying remission of depression. — Read on www.nih.gov/news-events/news-releases/ketamine-reverses-neural-changes-underlying-depression-related-behaviors-mice Tweet https://kthejourney.selfhosting.rocks/2019/09/21/ketamine-reverses-neural-changes-underlying-depression-related-behaviors-in-mice-national-institutes-of-health-nih/

Mental Health Update 9/3/19 I had my first Ketamine Infusion on June 23, 2019. Before the Infusions I was taking 12 pills a day. Here’s where I am now. * 1.5mg clonazepam (down from 2mg) * 300mg gabapentin (down from 1.8g) * 60mg duoloxetine (no change) * 60mg Adderall (down from 90mg) After talking to the doctor today, I’ll be completely off the gabapentin in a month. Down to 1.0mg clonazepam. And 20-30mg Adderall. The duoloxetine I’ve been waiting on. We’re doing this gradually so as not to disrupt my recovery. However, it’s still an extremely fast cut in meds. My head gets clearer every time I cut these down. In roughly 2 months, I’ve more than halved the medications. I’ve only had 1 ketamine Treatment since the original. I’ll have another soon. We’re doing them every 4-6 weeks as I come off the pills. Afterwards, I’ll be able to move to 3 months, then 6 months between treatments. By January 01, 2020 I should be down to a small antidepressant. This is not something I ever believed would be possible. I seriously believed I’d have to take all those meds, and still be miserable, for the rest of my life. I’ve taken every medicine under the sun, none truly worked. Some helped smaller issues, or kept me at baseline, but nothing provided the chance to actually live. Now I’m looking at a second chance. A chance to accomplish something without the weight of Depression, Anxiety, Insomnia, and more for the first time in 15 years!! – Jack Recovery feels amazing. Tweet https://kthejourney.selfhosting.rocks/2019/09/12/mental-health-update-9-3/

So much time has gone by, with my posts, ( as well as Katie’s), being kinda irregular. Let me explain some of the problems we’ve had so far, why, and what I’m doing to fix the issues. First, I am not a programmer. I don’t know much in the way of coding. Even WordPress is a little above my level with these things. I’m still hoping we can get a volunteer to help out with the technical aspects that have caused problems so far. Second, the initial set of ketamine Infusions was done very rapidly in my case. This left me disoriented in ways I wouldn’t even notice for weeks. This is conflated by the major life changes I’ve made and am making to insure my recovery remain sound. I’m doing what I can, but I’m only one guy. My knowledge is in the experience of long term mental illness, and it’s sudden reversal. So, I’m struggling with the website process. Links to the 2 groups and multiple announcement platforms I manage solo in conjunction, can be found in the Community page. I’ve also received veiled threats about legality from several “professionals” in Mental Health. Speaking openly and honestly about Mental Health breeches no integrity. There is no ethical issue in helping the sick get to doctors. So, keep the emails coming. Then there is the server. This site is currently hosted on spare space on the servers of a friend. I have an obligation to keep him shielded from any worry of legal matters. It’s a great kindness to have this space temporarily. I’ve been trying to raise the funds for private hosting and a domain name, but donations haven’t been extremely forthcoming, despite the large number of inquiries received via this site’s communities. We’ve received a single anonymous donation, itself able to cover nearly half the mentioned fees. I’m seeking a grand total of $120.00 USD. I’ve got a host lined up, at roughly $70 yearly, and domain registry of about $20 totally. I’ve set the sum slightly higher, to cover any fees or options we made need that I am unaware of. We are at $45 of the $120. Consider helping, in case you need the support someday too. If, I can get a few more writers to join staff, and at least one person that gets all this web design stuff, and just a small amount… https://kthejourney.selfhosting.rocks/2019/07/25/k-time-unseen/

Waking up to Shining Sun If tomorrow you were to wake up in savage, new land, how would you react? And what if this strange, shining globe you found yourself walking on, was just a spect, in the vast empty space left swirling around some other speck, but it glowed in a way that was special to everyone? I’ve gone from a 2D Life to this 4D Multi-Soul Galaxy. How odd. More than a single soul. This one still feels the pains, and the flatness of that old 2D Flat Earth. It can hardly believe the gift it has received by being attached to every other one. It reacts out of conditioning, Pavlovian. I’m adjusting to gravity, but all my sensors are confused in the diamond, sparkle light. Electricity made sense, but now it has all these new directions it can be spun. So, if I’m twisting in the wind, look how far I’ve been flung! It’s colossal, the difference between where I used to sit and all the things I come from. If you’d just adjust the ropes, maybe we could still save this kite from the Sun. Metaphors that are not metaphorical. – Jack lost inside a body whose disease is ripped from from all but one lung. If I can smile, I can believe. It’s so good to be 3D. 07.19.19 Tweet https://kthejourney.selfhosting.rocks/2019/07/19/brave-new-world/

It’s easy to sometimes feel as though we are being ignored. It’s even more true when you’ve got a mental illness. Depression fogs every emotion, not merely the “Good” ones. It grows, with very little help, from sadness and fatigue, until you don’t know how anyone gets through the day. And the anxieties kick in. It reaches a panicked pitch of loneliness and isolation. By choice or by force. When every time you start a new, “better” medication, you receive a warning from the doctor you’ve had memorized for years, Now, remember, it could take two or three months before you notice a change…” This is somehow seen as an acceptable way to treat people within an inch of suicide. It’s hard to imagine how we ended up here. Surely this wasn’t the goal when the first MAOIs were made available for prescription. MAOIs were developed in the 1950s, accidentally. The action was noticed in tests by the patients have a slight increase in energy, motivation, and activity than those on placebo. Tricyclics antidepressants were discovered in a similar manner in 1957 while attempting to create antipsychotic. It’s effects were thought to be almost entirely placebo at first. Imipramine was prescribed for years without any understanding of how it worked. It was hypothesized to work on norepinephrine, then later, serotonin. For 30 years, little changed. MAOIs had weird interactions with even common foods. Tricyclics are still considered among the most effective medications for depression, but they seem to have little effect on suicidal ideation, and can cause major issues in the case of overdose. In 1988, this all changed, when the first of a “novel class of antidepressants,” fluoxetine(commonly known by brand name Prozac) was released in the US. It was the first majorly successful SSRI, the class of medication that would hold America for thirty years to come. SSRIs are the most prescribed antidepressants ever. Dozens of slightly different SSRIs, and SNRIs have come and gone on the market. a few atypical medications have seen popularity in this time as well. Substituted amphetamines, GABA Inhibitors, Dopamine agonists, anticonvulsants, steroids, hormones, antipsychotics, stimulants, all have been used for depression, some in combination with an SSRI. Yet, even with secondary medications supplementing SSRIs, the success rate has been incredibly low. Around 30% of people have no reduction of symptoms, or only experience a partial relief. That’s right. Seventy percent of people [...] https://kthejourney.selfhosting.rocks/2019/07/16/the-struggle-to-be-heard/

Today, I am still trying to get this whole plug-in/theme bullshit to look something like right.. And for some strange reason, I keep finding things I published days or weeks prior in my drafts bin. No idea what is going on there. I’ve spoken with a couple of people about a logo, and some similar images to set up branding here. The idea is recognition, but not for wealth. In mental health, being honest with yourself, and fact checking everyone with a medical license, are perhaps equally important. I’ve been given far more horrible advice by doctors than by patients. The Doctor/Patient relationship was long ago eroded to fine sand by the dozen or more governmental agencies who take a peak at the patients’ files for one reason or another under the guise of Public Safety. I mean, if they used that effort to make sure kids were vaccinated and well fed, we’d be done with major disease in 50 years, tops. Just some thoughts as i dig through all this WordPress stuff I do not understand… Tweet

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On Sunday, June 23rd, 2019, I start Ketamine Infusion Treatments for Treatment Resistant Depression and Anxiety. I’ll have 2 infusions a week for 3 weeks. Then maintenance infusions occasionally. Ketamine doesn’t work like any other therapy. No SSRI, MAOI, tricyclic, or atypical antidepressant does what ketamine does. Ketamine is the only treatment that causes neurogenesis. That’s the growth of new synapses in the brain. New receptors for serotonin and dopamine and norepinephrine and everything else. Neurogenic action isn’t the only thing unique about ketamine. It works on the NMDA receptor areas. No other medication stimulates this area of the brain directly. Glutamate is probably the word you’ve heard whispered lately. It’s where all the new antidepressant research is pointing. In very high doses, ketamine has been used for years. Hospitals have to keep it on hand for anesthesia. It’s essential for operating on patients without a breathing tube. It’s an essential medicine around the world. It’s also abused sometimes. As many anesthetic drugs are. In Infusion, a low dose of ketamine is delivered at a specific rate, over 20-30 minutes. Many people do report s disassociative experience. Some even find it adds to the therapeutic effect. It’s said that you can look at problems in your life, or think about past trauma without getting emotional. As anyone who’s ever tried therapy will tell you, this is a big fucking deal. Being able to stand aside, and see the reality of things, past our emotions and delusions, it’s an unimaginable thing for many trauma cases. PTSD finds a real miracle in ketamine. Anxieties dissolve to logical detachment. While this state only lasts a few minutes, the benefits aren’t. Both in emotion and judgement, and unique brain action, you can repair every kind of damage caused by long term mental health problems and those caused quickly by trauma. With me luck! – Jack I’m not just Listening Anymore 06.21.19 Some Links to use as Source Wikipedia : Ketamine The Mayo Clinic calls Ketamine Infusion “miracle” Tweet https://kthejourney.selfhosting.rocks/2019/07/16/thoughts-2/

I’m learning how to live again. For the first time in years, I can see a reason to live. But my body is weak, and my mind undisciplined, from 15 years of nonstop depression and anxiety. I’ve got direction now, even though I know this will likely fade. I originally discussed Ketamine Infusions with an anesthesiologist in Atlanta who was offering infusion treatment at a rate that was just too high for me to afford, plus travel. It was also something I expected my doctor have no problem with, given my history. The Nurse Practitioner I had been seeing moved back to her home town just prior. The NP who took her place had some ideas that might pass as modern and realistic at the level of psychiatry 10 years ago. But today, it’s not facing facts. If you can’t remember happiness, you can’t figure out the underlying reasons you aren’t happy. I was completely rutterless. When we first met, I thought I’d really gotten through to her. I thought she realized how bad it was. I thought she was excited about the research behind using ketamine for depression. She was supposed to get me an appointment. When I saw her again a month later, she hadn’t looked at my case since I’d left. She was supposed to have called me the week after my appointment, to let me know about providers in the area. When she had not at 3 weeks I called and made an appointment. At which I was informed she’d never told me that. That she had talked to the owner of that practice (who knows me only as a patient of former colleagues ), and no one was allowed to discuss ketamine treatment at all. I was only allowed to talk about esketamine, which has far less testing backing it, and derives no extra benefit. The difference? About $3000 a visit. Oh, and esketamine only comes in a disposable inhaler with a shiny new patent. I’m talking about this because the doctor running the esketamine setup in the local hospital sent me a letter I received yesterday. It’s inviting me to call for an appointment. At as much as $1800 nationally, with insurance. Per session. I paid an amount that most think is too expensive. And it’s a lot, especially at one time( assuming 6 initial treatments as most studies show ). Not only that, [...] https://kthejourney.selfhosting.rocks/2019/07/16/dealing-how-we-move-forward/

Today, I’m proud to introduce someone someone who is also grappling with her illness, and learning how to live again. Now, Katie has been reluctant to commit to a regular schedule, so we just have to hope she’ll share more than this one piece with us. For the moment, Katie can be found on twitter @katielemonhead. In a couple of hours we’ll hear more about her story. Here’s a brief bio she wrote: Bio: Katie My name is Katie. I’m 24 years old and I live in NY. I’ve struggled with mental illness since I was a child, but didn’t get help until I was 17. I finally received my real diagnosis at 24 and have been on a holistic treatment plan. This is the face of dysthymia, also known as persistent depressive disorder. So let’s give Katie a warm welcome. She’s gonna beat this thing. – Jack (Excuse the looks, I really need more people helping out here, especially a word press guru and a graphic designer. Lol. ) Tweet https://kthejourney.selfhosting.rocks/2019/07/15/welcome-katie/

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I’m running some tests with themes and the look of the site, I’ll let you know when it’s been settled again.

#tests #themes #wordpress

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I haven’t been able to focus enough to write about my last couple of infusions. All is going extremely well, but the sedation the day after has been kicking my ass. I’ve got one infusion left for the starter treatment. I’ll have normal posts and updates again very soon. Share this:TweetPocketTelegramMoreShare on TumblrWhatsAppPrintLike this:Like Loading… Related

#anxiety #day-of #depression #disorder #experience #fresh-start #habits #infusion #ketamine #ketamine-infusion #medication #mental-health #mental-illness #mood #neuropathic-pain #recovery #therapy #thoughts

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*Shorter than normal* Yesterday I had my second infusion. It was much smoother. The side effects wore off much more quickly, and it wasn’t as tiring. The doctor increased the dosage, and made it hold out for a longer effect. I started feeling the antidepressant effects within hours. Anxiety has been virtually nonexistent since the first infusion. Which is a miracle. Some symptoms returned Wednesday morning, but that’s all. Due to my response so far, we’re moving up the schedule a bit. Infusion three is tomorrow, Friday, June 28, 2019. Infusion Four on Sunday, June 30, 2019. ( see my new timeline below ) Advancing the schedule will allow me to complete the initial six treatments sooner, and get on a more extended maintenance schedule. I’ll also be able to start weening off several medications after my sixth treatment, which I’m really looking forward to. So, my blog will be slightly more rushed for the start. I had originally intended to talk more about the other resources I’m using alongside my Ketamine Infusions. I will be talking about these exercises, it’ll just be later now. Jack’s Infusion Schedule 2019 June 23 June 26 June 28 June 30 Treatment Five – ?? Treatment Six – ?? Maintenance – ?? – Jack Speaking. 06.27.19 Thanks to anonymous who donated $45 towards the cost of the server. That puts me right at halfway! Share this:TweetPocketTelegramMoreShare on TumblrWhatsAppPrintLike this:Like Loading... Related https://kthejourney.selfhosting.rocks/2019/06/27/infusion-two/

Summary of my first infusion experience. https://kthejourney.selfhosting.rocks/2019/06/24/infusion/