i don't think i can satiate my thirst to find more things to think about. this is ultimately self-destructive, i know, but i need to do things. i can't just stop. i feel weird, awful if i rest and appreciate what i've done.

it feels like a waste of time.

and yet, i know i'm deeply burnt out. someday i'll get used to being okay about it. but i'm a bit too restless right now to just relax. thankfully i can just read books...

i think my creative process is about absorbing as many influences as possible, navigating through the contradictions and interesting ideas, and then finally writing a scenario that tackles all these different dimensions and try to resolve it into like one impactful scene.

but once i do it too well, i've lost all steam. i need to recuperate and find more influences, and that's what i'm doing right now.

i know Spring Gothic is my best, and yet i feel restless. i need to do more.

asked the composer of Spring Gothic to write up a post about her process composing the soundtrack for the game https://proflily.games/blog/2025-04-10-Spring-Gothic-Composer-Comments/

i am back to thinking about this. i crave for a Thinky Games for general micro-indie games and a queer vn dev circle where we can all support each other.

i'm sorta losing a lot of hope in the games media writing scene since there's just no interest in micro-indies. i'm just feeling cynical and empty lol. https://mastodon.gamedev.place/@kastelpls/113899133147805863

lazy to import my bsky thoughts on spring thing 2025, so here: https://bsky.app/profile/highimpactsex.bsky.social/post/3lmcboinb4s2z

GREETINGS, EARTHLINGS 👾

DOMINO CLUB has abducted a new set of games for your entertainment. PROBE NOW!

🛸 https://domino.gallery/jams/domino-declassified-jam/ 🛸 #dominoclub

Spring Gothic is a yuri visual novel about a long-distance relationship between Nica, a trans streamer, and Chun, a medical school student.

They're finally meeting up in London, but will their relationship work offline?

https://proflilyvn.itch.io/spring-gothic

prof lily's newest visual novel, submitted for Spring Thing 2025, has now gone gold.

the game will be released on April 2. featuring writing from yours truly, art and programming from lacunova, music from noelle aman, and editing from nitori.

prof lily's new yuri vn on long-distance relationships, coming soon to an itchio near you:

this upcoming title is likely my best writing to date because every scene is surprising to me. i'm learning a lot about what's important to write about. and the research is very fun.

included a DIY HRT scene in the next yuri visual novel scenario i'm writing because why not, people should know how injections work.

the one nice thing about everyone making escapist yuri romances is that i can go make my own sicko work without feeling like i'm misrepresenting the genre.

the game is set in london and any relationships made there needs to be appropriately bleak to be realistic.

tbh, have i ever written anything normal since the pandemic began? i'm just trying to be real about what's happening.

note to self: include how no one is wearing masks in 2025.

pushed my first commit to the smoochie jam vn project. guess it's a Real Project now instead of "haha, it would be funny to revive an old project back when i liked writing happier and sentimental stories and see what i would do it today"...

this is gonna be a weird romance game lol. it's inspired by SeaBed at least.

i feel deeply uncomfortable about my position at times. i'm only here because i am outside the industry. it's Weird.

as someone who writes about indie games, i wonder who actually writes about indie games on a professional capacity. i can only do it because i have a day job with a lot of spare time.

don't get me started on non-english language media. i'm just thinking of people writing about english indie media. there's no good institution supporting us.

Shoutout to all the internet heroes who review $10 Steam #indiegames like they are $70 AAA games. And who whine about "too short" when a game is $10 and 3 hours.

So here's to you guys. Defenders of the Internet!
#gamedev #steam

more than ever, it's important for me to write gay shit.

you compile your kernel in the cloud.
i compile kernel in…

reading a slice-of-life drama yuri visual novel that had a scene which implied the writers wrote this as if it was a post-apocalyptic movie between two characters and i'm feeling inspired.

the visual novels i love the most are the titles that color the loneliness we all feel with something special.