Listen, it’s very simple: In Britain we use the metric system, except for beer and milk, which come in pints. But not plant milk — that comes in litres.

Oh, and distances are in miles. But only if they’re too far to walk — if you can walk it it’s in metres. If you’re driving then your fuel efficiency is in miles-per-gallon, but petrol is sold in litres.

Oh, and your height is in feet and inches. If you don’t care much about your weight it’s in stone (but not pounds — no-one can remember how many pounds are in a stone and it’s hard to read the little tick marks on analogue scales). If you do care about your weight then your digital scales tell you it in kilograms.

Oh, and if there’s a heatwave then tabloids will forecast a “100°F scorcher”. But if it’s cold then it’s an “arctic blast” with “widespread temperatures below 0°C”.

I hope this clears things up.

The things I learn, even at my age, simply by reading documentation are WILD!

Today: #SQLite3

"In addition to reading and writing SQLite database files, the sqlite3 program will also read and write ZIP archives."

https://sqlite.org/cli.html

@nixCraft @briankrebs #UniverseToday @fraser found their visits and thus advertising revenue had crashed due to both search engines not being search engines plus AI slop websites, so they rebuilt their site without ads or tracking scripts and are now funded by optional donations

https://www.universetoday.com/articles/welcome-to-the-new-ad-free-universe-today-brought-to-you-by-3000-space-fans

This is true.

“Dragon whiskers. Darl, where are the dragon whiskers?”

“In the fridge, you left them out on the bench again”

“I left them out because I was making tacos and I knew I’d need them”

“Who puts dragon whiskers in chili?”

“I do, habaneros are inferior!”

#Tootfic #MicroFiction #PowerOnStoryToot

I told my wife that the name Paw Patrol doesn't make sense because if they made a show about a diverse team of adolescent human first responders in a dog universe, it would be called Hand Patrol, but she just told me to shut up and go to sleep.

Get yourself a coffee fairy. Leave some chocolate coated coffee beans on your doorstep to advertise the vacancy. Put a cat bed in the pantry. If you have actual cats don’t worry, a cat only tries to eat a fairy once, and usually survives.

Fairy-made coffee is the best way to start the day. Come at me demon-tea lovers.

#Tootfic #MicroFiction #PowerOnStoryToot

We are modernizing the user interface

Pray we do not modernize it further

One of the companies I consult with dropped a heads up in the Slack channel that someone was sending out requests claiming to be their CEO asking for Apple gift cards and not to respond because it’s a scam. I replied I know he only accepts Google Play cards but nobody laugh reacted so I’m sharing my joke here because I need dopamine

HOW MANY FUCKING STAGES IN THE BUILD PROCESS NEED TO DOWNLOAD RANDOM ZIP FILES FROM DL DOT GOOGLE DOT COM DO YOU GUYS HAVE NO DISCIPLINE AT ALL ARE YOU ALL FUCKING INTELLIGENCE AGENCY PLANTS TRYING TO ENSURE THERE'S AS MANY BACKDOOR OPPORTUNITIES AS POSSIBLE

wow, everyone is having a terrible day

theres something you all need to remember

Where were you the day magnetism stopped working? Oh, duh, not too far from where you are now, I bet.

#Tootfic #MicroFiction #PowerOnStoryToot

We’ve tried all the other ways to make computing more effective. Shrinking the circuitry year on year seemed like a winner—they called it Moore’s “Law”, that improvements in fabrication could double circuit density half a dozen times every decade—until we hit the atom wall. Reducing operation cycles hit a wall too, in the mid-gigahertz range. Quantum computing was the marvelously doomed end-run tactic of computing in parallel universes. The problem with that, we found out too late, is that neglecting to ask those other universes’ permission might result in a bill coming due. So suck it up princenby and get by with half a brain, because if we each run compute load on 50% of our cortex for the rest of our lives we might pay off this debt in time for our grandchildren to be free. The alternative is (literally!) unthinkable.

#Tootfic #MicroFiction #PowerOnStoryToot

if you put a webserver up on the internet. anywhere, hosting anything, you will see "the background radiation of the internet", and it looks like this:

@ash

@ash
Ash. I'm stuck in Canberra with a broken car. It cold.

There's a shift actively happening where humans aren't the only ones using your tools. They might be guiding a tool to use your tool.

Developer tools, libraries, utilities, APIs, and more have to now consider a new "audience" in terms of both growth and experience 👀

https://cassidoo.co/post/tools-using-tools/

inventing a robot that suffers from ennui call that a sighborg

shitboosting

And now for today’s climate forecast …