"We wish to honor the first earthling into space," said the aliens, "by inviting them to join us on our journey across the cosmos."
The earth representative frowned. "You must mean Yuri Gagarin? Unfortunately, he is long dead."
"A minor detail, given our technology," the aliens replied, "and no, we do not refer to the human."
The air grew bright and hot. Colors swirled. A dog appeared.
Said the aliens, "Come with us, Laika. Join us on our journey."
The dog barked happily.
Fucking GROSS.
So because »gestures at this timeline«, the first appliance from Cory Doctorow's ( @pluralistic ) "Unauthorized Bread" is now on the market. A 'smart oven' you buy and subscribe to the company's meals, which bear a QR code you scan so the oven, amidst its ongoing datastream to the mothership, 'knows' how to cook it. The company, which I will not name (and you please won't either), claim you can use the oven to cook your own food, too. But you have to have their app and a wifi connection to set it up and to operate most of its controls, which means at any moment the company can go "lolnope" or put controls (or the ability to cook unauthorized food) behind a paywall, or brick the thing deliberately, or sell your food logs, or do any of the other things Doctorow described better than I, which is why I've linked the story here.
Google Docs exports automatically infected with tracking links:
txt - unaffected
html + AFFECTED
odt - unaffected
pdf - unaffected
epub + AFFECTED
rtf - unaffected
docx - unaffected
sample web html <a> tag:
<a class="c4" href="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://wikimediafoundation.org/&sa=D&source=editors&ust=1696089933805520&usg=AOvVaw2ypOvslXzoEGwdryv4bFyJ">https://wikimediafoundation.org/</a>
sample epub xhtml <a> tag:
<a class="c5" href="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://wikimediafoundation.org/&sa=D&source=editors&ust=1696087392161966&usg=AOvVaw1v4xpIFWD9GYkMFifXd1uo">https://wikimediafoundation.org/</a>
Local restaurants...I beg you...maintain an actual Web Site...that isn't Facebook or Instagram...I am pleading with you...just a simple site, on the web...for me, your old pal Sadsquatch...
@dgar I can’t be the only one thinking of Kryten’s spare heads now, right?
@j The big Mario Kart… kart? If so, awesome! If not, also awesome.
@akareilly Naw, mate. That’s a Cylon, from Stargate.
How To Say The Number 92 In Various European Languages
Nice analysis: https://brilliantmaps.com/number-92/
The best part about a study to map bird movements with lasers is that they had to make tiny safety goggles for the parrots.
https://news.stanford.edu/stories/2016/12/birds-flying-laser-light-reveal-faults-flight-research
The whole imposing tariffs on an island full of penguins. Has anyone verified this wasn't a flawed attempt to impose tariffs on Linux ?
This is simultaneously so clever and so stupid 🤣 https://youtu.be/dSlGxtOTbbI?si=2iL3da7m9Kg4BUnB #StarTrek
“WHO DARES AWAKEN ME FROM MY AEONS-LONG SLUMBER?!”
“Yes, very good, excellent delivery, forgive me for not laughing, but you’re the sixth one today. You girls should have workshopped your jokes together before going into stasis”
“Oh. Ah? How long have we got until the big 10k, and how are my investments doing? And do you still have updog in the future?”
“It’s 2288, forget about year ten thousand we’ve got bigger problems. Your investments tanked in the quantum wars. And nice try but the last corpsicle got me with that one”
“Fuck. What now?”
“Asteroid impact is what
now”
“Cool, and you need programmers to calculate how to divert it.”
“Nope, we did that already.”
“And that worked?”
“Noooooot as such, no. Typo in the value of the gravitational constant.”
“Woopsy, so you need a cadre of 21st century digital girls to brainstorm a last minute plan B?”
“Nope, plan B worked just fine, the folks at the Indonesian moon base worked an incantation to kick the Earth a day forward in time, while the asteroid sailed through the empty spot. Well mostly fine; I can’t get used to the month being four days longer now.”
“Aha! You need us to work out how to get the moon back in orbit?”
“No, we’ll live with that. We need you to fix the timezone data files”
Inside you there are two wolves. One is active, the other one is on hot standby and becomes active if the first one fails or is taken down for maintenance. Add more wolves as necessary for increased redundancy load balancing. A quorum badger can be added for environments with multiple active wolves.
gotta say, douglas adams prepared me better for our absurd future than isaac asimov. like, spending hours explaining to a replicator AI how to make an excellent cup of tea, only to have the AI then lock up 100% of the ships computers resources mid-battle as it tries to comply with the request, that does seem like an increasingly more plausible scenario than a scientist planning a techno cult centuries in advance to prevent a great calamity
Eleventy 3.0.0 is now available!
https://github.com/11ty/eleventy/releases/tag/v3.0.0
Over a year of work, 22 pre-releases, so many contributors. Thank you to our entire community—y’all make this project possible. ❤️
