whenever it comes to identities you dont understand and you want to understand, its bad to come out of the gate with "this thing doesnt make any sense to me, how can you POSSIBLY be a he/him lesbian, he/him are MALE pronouns." because youre making it clear to whoever youre speaking to that youre coming not from a place of wanting to learn but instead from a place of reactionary confusion.
kill the part of your brain that gets defensive or frustrated when you learn about things that you find hard to understand