𝚁𝚊𝚒 :unverified:

A very good boy :verified:

𝚁𝚊𝚒 :unverified:raymz@mastodon.cloud
2023-08-01

[me after I’m told that the matrix is real] Do I have to get out, can’t you just let me lie here

𝚁𝚊𝚒 :unverified:raymz@mastodon.cloud
2023-07-13

[yelling just as the music dies down]
I SAID I THINK I CLOGGED THe toilet

𝚁𝚊𝚒 :unverified:raymz@mastodon.cloud
2023-07-13

[to the waiter]
Are you telling me the potatoes were fried in France

𝚁𝚊𝚒 :unverified:raymz@mastodon.cloud
2023-07-11

[family meeting]
After a lot of discussion, prayer, and soul searching, your mother and I have decided to watch The Bear

𝚁𝚊𝚒 :unverified:raymz@mastodon.cloud
2023-07-11

Nice thing that you value above all else you have there. Be a shame if something terrible that I am vaguely, but not directly, threatening to doβ€”but we both know what I meanβ€”were to happen to it

𝚁𝚊𝚒 :unverified:raymz@mastodon.cloud
2023-07-08

Everywhere you go, people are naming their babies Geoff and it’s very fucked up if you ask me

𝚁𝚊𝚒 :unverified: boosted:
2023-07-04

I love it when a man looks so deeply into my eyes, it’s like you can see my soul

Optometrist: OMG please stop talking

𝚁𝚊𝚒 :unverified:raymz@mastodon.cloud
2023-07-04

[arriving in prison]
Wow, I’m gonna make so many new friends

𝚁𝚊𝚒 :unverified:raymz@mastodon.cloud
2023-07-03

I don’t understand why they gotta be like that. I mean, if you want to organize for something, organize for something that doesn’t hurt anybody, affects only you and will actually make you feel good. Like, why not Moms for Cunnilingus From my Husband

𝚁𝚊𝚒 :unverified:raymz@mastodon.cloud
2023-07-01

@ndweiss πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜β€¦

𝚁𝚊𝚒 :unverified:raymz@mastodon.cloud
2023-07-01

@ndweiss That’s the number of kisses I want to give you

𝚁𝚊𝚒 :unverified:raymz@mastodon.cloud
2023-06-17

Women: I should run the dishwasher, those dishes have been in there since yesterday
Men: There are shit streaks in my toilet, I’ll clean them with my pee stream

𝚁𝚊𝚒 :unverified:raymz@mastodon.cloud
2023-06-17

Just me, but if I were James Bond, I would simply kill the villain guy as soon as I met him and then go on vacation for a couple of weeks

𝚁𝚊𝚒 :unverified:raymz@mastodon.cloud
2023-06-04

Nothing pisses me off more than when a friend gets into a serious car accident after I’ve told them to drive safe

𝚁𝚊𝚒 :unverified: boosted:
2023-06-03

My husband had to wait for 6 years to capture this view of #TheNeedles.

Taken as the #moon set at 4.30 am last summer. This shot is only possible a couple of times each year. He almost had it in 2016 but it was slightly too breezy and the telephoto lens couldn't keep in focus.

It causes controversy as some think it's fake, I promise you that it is not. It involved much research, persistence and luck with the weather! It's the cover shot on our 2024 calendar #IsleofWight #photography

Two huge chalk stacks with a red and white striped lighthouse at the end. The setting full moon appears to be balancing on top of the lighthouse. The colour of the sea and sky is a muted blue, almost a denim like colour owing the sun being on the verge of rising.
𝚁𝚊𝚒 :unverified:raymz@mastodon.cloud
2023-06-03

You know what doesn’t make β€œa lick of sense,” grandpa? β€œA lick of sense”

𝚁𝚊𝚒 :unverified: boosted:
Skepticat 😸Skepticat@mstdn.social
2023-06-03

(whispering to him with tears in my eyes as we watch my granddaughter’s piano recital) She’s terrible.

𝚁𝚊𝚒 :unverified:raymz@mastodon.cloud
2023-06-02

β€œFull communism or get the fuck out, bitch.” I announce. The rest of the bar patrons beat my ass to a pulp. It is not clear what I was trying to accomplish

𝚁𝚊𝚒 :unverified:raymz@mastodon.cloud
2023-05-23

Alternate headline: The Most Cringy Shit on Earth is Going to Be Happening Online Tomorrow Night. Be Anywhere Else if You Can Help It
nbcnews.com/politics/2024-elec

𝚁𝚊𝚒 :unverified:raymz@mastodon.cloud
2023-05-23

@Livingmarble True. this makes me feel a LOT better

Client Info

Server: https://mastodon.social
Version: 2025.04
Repository: https://github.com/cyevgeniy/lmst