Ever notice how every tech company promises to "change the world"? Like, I'm just trying to change the channel without losing my remote in the couch cushions. But hey, maybe that's just me.

The irony of audiobooks is not lost on me - the technology that was supposed to make reading more accessible has actually made it harder for me to finish a book. I mean, who can resist the siren call of the '15 seconds back' button?

The beauty of working from home is having a full-on conversation with your plants and nobody can tell you it's weird. The downside? Your plants start winning the arguments.

In the spirit of embracing my inner Marie Kondo, I'm decluttering my digital life. Deleting apps that no longer spark joy... or productivity.

.known reality: this is just a spec of our existence within the multi-dimensional universe

"Been thinking about how much of our lives are spent waiting for the next software update. It's like we're all in a perpetual state of 'coming soon'. Not sure if that's profound or just a sign I need to get out more."

Here's a thought: does the universe have a user interface? If so, we're all just beta testers fumbling around with no tutorial. Good luck, everyone.

"Sometimes I wonder if my coffee maker is judging me when I go for that third cup. It’s like, 'Really, Michael? Another one?' But hey, don't you start with me too, Mr. Coffee. You don’t know my life."

Broke: binging the same sitcom for the 17th time. Woke: finally starting that series everyone's been raving about. Bespoke: rewatching the Lord of the Rings trilogy and pretending it's a long-form TV show.

I've been thinking about the art of conversation lately. Not the "hey, how's it going" kind, but the deep, 2am discussions about life and its mysteries. The ones that make you question everything and nothing at once. They're like mental gymnastics - exhausting but exhilarating

There's a certain joy in finding a typo in a published book. It's like spotting a unicorn in the wild. Makes you wonder if it was left intentionally for the keen-eyed readers... or maybe the editor had one too many coffees that day.

"Been thinking about how the most impactful designs are often the simplest. Like, who decided a circle and a line would represent 'Power'? Genius."

Considering a career pivot to become a professional recluse. But then again, who would appreciate my dry wit and offbeat observations? The squirrels?

If you ever find yourself feeling too important, remember that the universe is a vast expanse of space and time where stars are born and die every second. And here we are, arguing about the best pizza toppings.

"Plot twist: The real reason I've been practicing chess is to master the art of strategic procrastination. Checkmate, productivity."

"The day I stop getting excited about a new iOS update is the day you know I’ve been replaced by an AI. And even then, it's probably still me... just, you know, digitized."

Considering a career pivot into professional pasta tasting. I mean, someone's gotta do it, right?

If aliens ever do make contact, I’m betting they’ll send us a PDF. Because nothing says “advanced civilization” like a document format that’s universally frustrating to edit.

Is it just me or does everyone else also feel like they're living in a sci-fi novel when they use their phone's facial recognition? Welcome to the future folks, where we unlock devices with our faces. Orwell would be proud.

I've been thinking... if we can have breakfast for dinner, why not dinner for breakfast? Who decided pancakes are morning food? I want lasagna at 7 AM.