This is not what I expected when I asked that monkey’s paw to get rid of all the billionaires

I once heard someone describe their political views as “just to the left of Jesus” and I think about that often

Apparently including the phrase “See you in the camps!” in my email signature line is “unprofessional” and “does not align with our organizational guidelines.”

Year 2000 me: Hey look! It’s future me! Tell me, oh wise one, what wonders and delights will there be in the coming years?

Year 2025 me: Dude, I’m gonna help us both out by holding this pillow over your face after you fall asleep tonight.

Just had a raspberry cream Kit Kat and it tastes like I wish I was high

Just finished the first season of Severance. My season one review: Holy Shitballs

One day we’ll all look back on this and laugh (until the camp guards club us into submission with the butts of their rifles)

Carefully explaining to my kid that they need to make more of an effort in school

Current mood:

Charles Bradley with the Menahan Street Band - "The World (Is Going Up in Flames)"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0bbgHTdSPJ4

Today I wore a fleece jacket over a flannel shirt and now the fire department is refusing to allow me into the city

"August in Kansas City is hotter than two rats fucking in a wool sock."

Meanwhile, JD Vance is in hour three of trying to find someone to validate his parking

“Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don't plan it. Don't wait for it. Just let it happen.”

Today's Low Quality Ad is for these Knife-Shaped Cat Toys. Our feline friends are natural-born killers, so they need toys to embrace their homicidal side. Many historical scholars suspect that Jack the Ripper was actually a cat.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0D2VRPMRH?ref=t_ac_view_request_product_image&campaignId=amzn1.campaign.V9RFO6N1F4KQ&linkCode=tr1&tag=connorstone06-20&linkId=amzn1.campaign.V9RFO6N1F4KQ_1737226006280

Glares in Gen X

I am not emotionally equipped to help my kid with math homework

The First Bookmobile Of The Public Library Of Cincinnati, 1927.

#book #mobile #library #cincinnati #photography

“We recognize the importance of supporting employee mental health needs. Therefore, beginning January 13th, all employees will be permitted to cry at their desks for up to 15 minutes per day. Please see your HR Representative if you have any questions regarding this updated policy.”

U Ever Straight Up Get Haunted By The Ghosts Of Your Past