learning a lot about the aplatonic spectrum today and decided to share since there’s not much discussion about it on fedi. this is intended not only as an educational post but also one of compassion and understanding for others in the world, so it contains aspects of both throughout it
aplatonic is an aspec (anattractional spectrum) identity based around not experiencing platonic (friendship) attraction or squishes, the platonic equivalent of crushes
ever had a squish? defining this will make explaining these concepts easier. whether by that term or not, a squish is a strong desire to be close to someone in a friendly way. it might be wanting to hang out with them, desiring them as a friend, wanting to make friendly gestures to them, or things like that. that could also be a desire to have a queerplatonic relationship with them. but, and this is important, a squish doesn’t include desiring to be with someone being in a romantic way. that’s why it’s more common for aromantic folks to experience and talk about this. it’s strictly platonic in that case.
fun fact: we call aplatonic folks “apl” for short, pronounced like “apple”
similar to how other aspec folks can still be in relationships, apls can absolutely be in friendships. others are repulsed and not interested at all. some are fine saying they love their friends, while others couldn’t do that if they tried. someone can be allosexual and alloromantic while experiencing no platonic attraction, which could be described as alloapl in short
sometimes that feeling fluctuates or shows up in different ways. in one post there was this user who explained how they get squishes and want to be someone’s friend, but as they get closer and closer that feeling starts to die away. they used the term frayplatonic to explain this, the fray- prefix referring to that gradual decline in it based on closeness. guess it’s kind of like the inverse form of the demi- prefix
sometimes it’s like, “not sure if alloplatonic or just wanting some form of attention” (either one is valid)
other times it’s like, “not sure what friendship is supposed to look like, let alone if that sounds good”
sometimes it’s like, “yeah, let’s just vibe in the community. it’s nice at a respectable distance”
then sometimes it’s like, “hmm, everything out there says being friends is the best thing ever, so why does it feel so strange to call someone this? we haven’t even talked about going steady like that, isn’t that a big commitment?”
then other times still it might be like, “i don’t know what being a friend means, but if they say that i am one then i will defend them until my dying breath”
but even then it could be like, “hmm. nah, not interested at all. no need for love in my life, including platonic,” which is awesome in its own respect, because society says friendship is so important and someone says no it ain’t and just doesn’t do that? it takes a lot of guts to stick to one’s truth like that
it’s so cool and shows that no one should feel pressured into relationships they aren’t interested in, friend relationships included. even someone who doesn’t really relate to showing love for others can still be a valued member of so many communities just by existing and uplifting those around them. or if they don’t, that’s fine too. lone wolves are great
also here is what the most common aplatonic flag to come across looks like. also the first one. it’s a classic mid-2010s era symbolic color stripecore piece that’s going for a nice to look at selection of colors, gotta love it
whether someone identifies with this term or not, conceptually it exists and there are a lot of ways to have a relationship with that. it’s not possible to tell if someone is aplatonic just by looking at them, or even observing them sometimes, because after all, at the end of the day, even the most rizzful can be apl. thanks for reading :akko_grin:
#aplatonic #aromantic #asexual #aspec #loveless #lgbt #queer #pride
