- My dog is the outstanding Magyar Vizsla
- How is it pronounced?
- It's the one with the hi-viz collar on

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Designing my own sets for my film about the end of the Third Reich. I’m the architect of my own Downfall.

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She’s a camouflage expert at my sniper school. I miss her a lot.

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As I prepared to make the decisive strike at the bowling alley, it was so dramatic you could hear a pin drop

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ehmosuy - finally got my house in order.

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I name my rodents after my favourite singers. Now I wait with her in the queue for Midge's tickets, urging the tattooist to affix the dried fruit transfer, even though it’s been the ruin of many a poor boy.

Cher is a mouse in Ure lines.
Decal the raisin, son.

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He was executed like a viking, but she forgave him.

You let them get away with a lot if they’re hung like a Norse.

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While mountaineering, I managed to cling onto my companion's rope after he fell over a cliff. Waiting to be rescued, I asked him questions to pass the time. But it all went wrong when I asked him his favourite childhood toy.

He really should've called them building blocks.

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Loretta Lynn’s father played soccer as a keeper.
She was proud to be the goal minder’s daughter.

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Someone’s made a pair of trousers from M&Ms.

Smarty pants.

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I don't need to tell you what brewing is and its effects. It's of beers.

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French toast is a pain to fry.

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Prisoners in police stations are no longer allowed access to plug-in air fresheners. There can be no Airwick for the arrested.

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The earliest known people to live together as a community always paid off their debts. They were the first settlements.

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Eureka! Shouted Archimedes as he understood how to market his binding agent - Display Cement.

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Set up a business selling headshots to barbers. People thought I was mad, but I made a fortune. A fool and his parting are soon monied.

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Who's standing up for the sitar players?

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Good office stationery salesmen are always pushing the envelope.

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One of the first symptoms of Perimenopause is that your previously monthly visits to Nandos can become increasingly irregular.

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The stars of the Shawshank Redemption, Venom and Die Hard have decided to open a chain of shoe stores. They're going to call it, ‘Morgan, Tom and Bruce.’

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