“They should sell tauntaun onesies so you can be Luke-warm.”
#SleepoverQuotes
“It was piercing and perfect and it made me want to play golf with his head.” —me failing to recall exactly what awful observation a muse made while I was driving home from work tonight.
Having leaned over to press my cheek against the bf's after accidentally waking him:
“Why do you smell like Christmas?”
“Your dirty look game is on point this weekend.”
“I haven't updated these files in like two months. You know whose fault this is?”
“Capitalism's!”
“…okay, that's uncomfortably accurate in some depressing ways, but how about a little more precision?”
“I don't know, then.”
“Do you really want to remind me that I have teeth when your leg is right there and looks juicy and inviting?”
“That's a very sarcastic blink, even for you.”
“That egg isn't cooked! It's raw and it was never cooked!”
“Are you okay? Are you watching a video?”
“Sorta.”
“Sorta?”
“I didn't turn on the sound.”
“So… you're watching a video without sound. What do you think D/deaf people do?!”
Me: “What, am I not allowed to burp at you?”
Him: *deeply sarcastic* “With finger guns…?”
Me: *muttering at the screen* "Sure, that looks like my butt; we'll go with that."
Bf: *raised eyebrow*
“The sun is flashing me. And you know how I feel about being flashed.”
“The humans are fucked, the aliens are like 'What the fuck?!'”
“Spite is ALWAYS worth the drive!”
After a small item avalanche: “I didn't realize that was a load-bearing potholder.”
“Did the X-Men ever do a thing where they went to the Savage Land and someone tried to lick a dilophosaur to see if they could get high?”
“I mean, Guy Fieri looks like a Gaia Online avatar.”
I can have headcanons. It's not illegal. Because if I can't have headcanons, you can't have headcanons, and then nobody is special and Syndrome is right!
“And what are you experiencing that makes you so Elmo? *gasp* You're an Elmo Kid!”
Me: Is a dominatrix necessarily a sex worker? It's not always a paid thing.
Him: ...
Me: I shouldn't ask you philosophical questions at 7 a.m, should I?
Client Info
Server: https://mastodon.social
Version: 2025.07
Repository: https://github.com/cyevgeniy/lmst