The Friend Who Remains

On Second Thought

“This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you… I have called you friends.”
John 15:12–15

“A man who has friends must himself be friendly,
But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”
Proverbs 18:24

Most of us can recall a childhood friendship marked by loyalty that felt effortless. That friend knew our habits, our hiding places, and our fears. We learned early that friendship is forged not only through shared laughter, but through shared trouble. Even then, something within us sensed that friendship carried weight—that being truly known and not abandoned was one of life’s greatest gifts. As we age, those friendships often thin out. Responsibilities multiply, expectations collide, and even the best relationships reveal their limits. Scripture does not romanticize this reality. It acknowledges both the blessing of friendship and its fragility.

Proverbs 18:24 holds these truths in tension. On the one hand, friendship requires intentionality. Relationships do not thrive on neglect. On the other hand, the proverb points us toward a category of friendship that transcends human reliability: “there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” This is not poetic exaggeration. It is theological direction. Scripture is quietly steering our expectations away from placing ultimate weight on human companionship and toward the One who alone can bear it.

Jesus makes this explicit in John 15. In one of the most intimate moments of His earthly ministry, on the night before His crucifixion, He reframes the relationship between Himself and His disciples. No longer servants merely carrying out commands, they are called friends—those who are brought into confidence, who are trusted with knowledge of the Father’s will. The Greek word Jesus uses for friend, philos, implies affection, loyalty, and chosen closeness. Yet this friendship is defined not by convenience, but by sacrifice. “Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.” Jesus does not promise a friendship free from sorrow; He promises a friendship proven in sorrow.

The story of Joseph Scriven brings this truth out of abstraction and into lived experience. Born in Ireland in 1819, Scriven’s life was marked early by devastating loss. The drowning of his fiancée on the eve of their wedding shattered the future he had imagined. Rather than allowing grief to calcify into bitterness, Scriven allowed suffering to reorient his hope. He relocated to Canada and committed himself quietly to serving others in Christ’s name. Out of repeated losses and disappointments emerged the hymn “What a Friend We Have in Jesus.” These words were not written by a man shielded from pain, but by one who had been stripped of earthly supports and discovered that Christ remained.

What makes Scriven’s testimony compelling is not sentimentality, but credibility. He learned what many of us resist learning: that even the best human friends can falter—not out of malice, but limitation. Jesus alone offers presence without expiration. Human relationships, however meaningful, are finite. They are shaped by health, time, misunderstanding, and mortality. Christ’s friendship is not constrained by any of these. He is not surprised by our grief, disappointed by our weakness, or wearied by our need. He knows us fully and chooses us still.

John 15 presses this insight further. Friendship with Jesus is not passive. It is reciprocal, active, and rooted in obedience that flows from love rather than fear. Jesus does not coerce loyalty; He invites trust. He does not withdraw when we fail; He restores and recommissions. After the resurrection, He will call Peter—who denied Him three times—back into relationship and purpose. This is friendship that survives betrayal. This is companionship that absorbs failure without severing love.

For many believers, the challenge is not affirming that Jesus is a friend, but allowing Him to be the primary one. We often treat Christ as a supplement to human relationships rather than their foundation. When friendships flourish, we feel secure. When they fracture, we feel abandoned—even though Christ has not moved. Scripture gently confronts this misalignment. It invites us to enjoy human friendship deeply, but not ultimately. Jesus is not a replacement for community; He is its anchor.

On Second Thought

On second thought, perhaps the paradox of friendship is this: the more we demand that others be everything for us, the more fragile our relationships become. We ask human friends to be omnipresent, endlessly understanding, and unwaveringly affirming—expectations no person can sustain. When they fail, disappointment often masquerades as betrayal. Yet Jesus never enters our lives as a competitor to human affection. He enters as the only one capable of carrying its full weight. When He says, “I have called you friends,” He is not offering emotional consolation alone; He is redefining security.

What if the loneliness many believers feel is not due to the absence of people, but the misplacement of trust? What if the ache we experience when relationships disappoint is meant to drive us not into isolation, but into deeper communion with Christ? Jesus does not ask us to stop loving others. He asks us to love them without requiring them to be saviors. When Christ is embraced as the Friend who remains, human friendships are freed to be gifts rather than lifelines.

This perspective does not diminish the pain of loss; it reframes it. Grief no longer signals abandonment, but transition. Disappointment no longer means isolation, but invitation. Like Joseph Scriven, we may discover that when earthly supports are removed, eternal faithfulness becomes unmistakably clear. The Friend who sticks closer than a brother is not revealed most clearly in seasons of abundance, but in moments when every other voice has gone quiet. On second thought, perhaps the deepest friendships are not those that shield us from suffering, but those that walk with us through it—and Christ does so without ever letting go.

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My Best Friend Is Jesus

Abiding in the Love That Transforms

As the Day Begins

Meditation

There is a sweetness in waking up to the words of Jesus in John 15:9–17, where He looks into the eyes of His disciples and speaks of love, obedience, joy, and friendship. These verses sit at the heart of His farewell discourse, spoken in the shadow of the cross. Yet they are among the most tender words He ever gave. “As the Father has loved Me, so have I loved you. Now remain in My love.” It is difficult to find a more comforting sentence to begin the day with. Before we rush into responsibilities, before we scroll through news, before the world lays its demands on our shoulders, Jesus bids us to remain—to abide—in His love. Not to perform, not to achieve, not even to impress Him, but simply to dwell in what He already gives.

And then comes the astonishing declaration: “I no longer call you servants… I have called you friends.” For all our theological reverence—and reverence is good—Jesus invites us into relationship, not mere religion. He is the Creator of galaxies, the Lord of eternity, the Judge of nations… and yet He says to you at dawn, “I am your friend.” Friendship here does not trivialize His majesty; it reveals His heart. A friend lets you know what is on His mind. A friend walks beside you in storms and victories. A friend does not abandon you when you fail. Jesus anchors this friendship in His sacrifice: “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” Calvary was not just atonement—it was affection displayed in its most costly form.

Many adults struggle to call Jesus their friend. It feels too informal, too intimate, maybe even irreverent. But the hesitation usually comes from misunderstanding what biblical friendship means. In Scripture, friendship is covenantal loyalty. It is truth-telling love. It is shared purpose, mutual knowledge, and constant presence. Jesus does not invite us into childish sentiment but mature companionship. To say “My best friend is Jesus” is not to lower Him—it is to elevate our understanding of how deeply He wants to share His life with us. Let this truth form the foundation of your morning: the King of Kings calls you His friend, and nothing you face today will be faced alone.

Triune Prayer

Father, as I begin this day, I thank You for loving me with the same love You have eternally given Your Son. It is a love I cannot measure, a love I did not earn, and a love that meets me in the quiet of this morning with reassurance and peace. I confess that I often rush into the day without resting in that love, without remembering that I am Your child, known and cherished. Father, help me to abide—to remain—in the love You freely give. Shape my thoughts, guard my emotions, and steady my steps so that everything I do today grows from the security of being held by You.

Lord Jesus, my Friend and Savior, I praise You for calling me into relationship rather than servitude alone. You laid down Your life for me, not from obligation but from devotion. You shared with Your disciples everything the Father gave You, and You continue to reveal the truth to my heart through Your Word and Your Spirit. Help me walk today with the awareness that You are beside me—not as a distant ruler but as a faithful companion. Teach me to keep Your commandments out of love, not fear. Let Your joy be full in me so that I may bring Your joy into every conversation, task, and moment.

Holy Spirit, I open myself to Your guidance as the day begins. You are the One who teaches, reminds, convicts, comforts, and strengthens. You are the voice of wisdom in my confusion and the gentle nudge toward obedience. Fill my heart with an insightful awareness of Jesus’ presence. Help me love others as He has loved me. Help me bear fruit that lasts—not fruit born from effort, but fruit born from abiding. Guard my tongue, direct my choices, and empower my witness. Make me attentive to Your whisper so that in every part of this day, I recognize that I am never alone, never without help, and never beyond the reach of divine friendship.

Thought for the Day

Walk through this day mindful of one simple truth: Jesus does not merely rule over you—He walks with you as your Friend. Let every interaction and decision today be shaped by the peace of His presence and the strength of His love.

Thank you for beginning your day in God’s presence.

For further reflection on the depth of Christ’s love and friendship, you may enjoy this article from The Gospel Coalition:
https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/articles/

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The Atmosphere of Your Life

A Day in the Life of Jesus

There are days when Jesus’ words feel less like instruction and more like an invitation into His heart. John 15:9–16 is one of those moments. As I walked through this passage again today, I found myself hearing Jesus not as a distant teacher but as a Friend—one who speaks with clarity, compassion, and authority. “I have loved you even as the Father has loved Me,” He says. It always amazes me that He begins with love, not obligation; with relationship, not requirement. Before Jesus asks anything of me, He assures me of the love that holds me.

This passage comes as Jesus is preparing His disciples for His departure. It’s the eve of His crucifixion, and rather than speaking of fear, strategy, or survival, Jesus speaks of love, obedience, joy, and friendship. As I read His words, I can’t help but feel the weight of them: Jesus is opening the deepest places of His relationship with the Father and inviting us into the same intimacy. Theologian Leon Morris once wrote, “The love with which Jesus loves is no mere affectionate impulse; it is the love of God active in saving purpose.” That is exactly the sense we get from John 15—Jesus is not merely saying, “I care about you.” He is placing us inside the very circle of divine love.

He tells us, “Live within my love.” That phrase lingers with me. Jesus is inviting us to dwell—not visit, not occasionally remember, but live—within the unending, unchanging love He shares with the Father. I imagine it like learning to breathe a different atmosphere, one that doesn’t suffocate but sustains, one that changes how I see myself, others, and the world around me. Jesus says the way to remain in that atmosphere is obedience—not cold compliance but warm alignment. “When you obey Me,” He says, “you are living in My love.” Obedience becomes less about rule-keeping and more about staying connected to the source of life.

As I think about that, I realize how much of our discipleship is not about doing more but about staying close. It echoes Augustine’s insight: “Love God, and do what you please.” When we live in His love, what we please will begin to reflect His heart.

Jesus continues, “I have told you this so that you will be filled with My joy… your cup of joy will overflow.” So many of us live with joy that leaks. Circumstances drain us. Worries siphon our strength. But Jesus speaks of a joy that fills and spills over—not because life becomes easy but because His presence becomes constant. True joy isn’t circumstantial; it’s relational. It flows from abiding, not achieving.

The article’s reminder fits perfectly here: true joy transcends the rolling waves of circumstance. Highs come, lows come, and both can distort our perspective. In prosperity, we drift toward the illusion of self-sufficiency; in adversity, we risk sinking into despair. But a heart intertwined with Jesus stays level. As the article puts it beautifully, “The joy of living with Jesus Christ daily will keep us levelheaded, no matter how high or low our circumstances.”

Jesus is preparing His disciples for extreme turmoil—arrest, scattering, grief—yet He speaks of joy because He knows that joy rooted in Him is unshakable. That’s why the apostle Paul, despite imprisonment, could write, “Rejoice in the Lord always” (Philippians 4:4). Not rejoice in circumstances. Rejoice in the Lord. The source determines the stability.

Then Jesus speaks words that still astonish me every time I read them: “I demand that you love each other as much as I love you.” In a world that measures love by feeling or preference, Jesus measures love by sacrifice. “Here is how to measure it,” He says, “the greatest love is shown when a person lays down his life for his friends.” Jesus doesn’t just define love; He demonstrates it. His cross is not only the means of our salvation but the model of our relationships. He lays down His life and then tells us, “Love each other like this.”

This is not sentimental discipleship; it is costly discipleship. As Dietrich Bonhoeffer reminds us, “When Christ calls a man, He bids him come and die.” To follow Jesus means letting go of self-importance, ego, entitlement, and resentment. It means choosing others’ good even when it costs us something. It means laying down the small kingdoms we build so we may live fully in the kingdom He offers.

Then Jesus says something even more startling: “You are My friends.” No rabbi spoke this way. Teachers had disciples. Masters had servants. But Jesus says, “I no longer call you slaves… now you are My friends.” Friendship with Jesus is not a sentimental label; it’s evidence of intimacy. “I have told you everything the Father told Me.” He has shared the Father’s heart, will, plans, and purposes. He has withheld nothing necessary for our salvation or our holiness.

And then comes one of the most empowering declarations in Scripture: “You didn’t choose Me! I chose you!” In the ancient world, students typically chose their teacher. But Jesus breaks the pattern. He initiates. He invites. He appoints. Before I ever chose Christ, He had already chosen me. Before I ever reached for Him, He had already reached for me. His choice creates the possibility of my choice. As the article summarizing this section wisely says: “Jesus made the first choice… Without His choice, we would have no choice to make.”

Jesus then appoints His disciples “to go and produce lovely fruit always.” Fruit is the natural outcome of abiding. When we dwell deeply in His love and walk consistently in His ways, fruit becomes inevitable. That fruit shows up in our character, our relationships, our decisions, our compassion, and our witness. It is not the result of striving but of staying—staying in Christ, staying in His love, staying near His heart.

“Lovely fruit always” also speaks to the consistency the article highlights. Life swings between elation and depression, success and setback. But Jesus gives us something deeper than emotional weather patterns. He gives us joy that centers us, love that anchors us, and purpose that directs us. When our lives are intertwined with His, we can walk through adversity without sinking and navigate prosperity without drifting.

I find comfort knowing that Jesus ends this section with a promise: “No matter what you ask of the Father, using My name, He will give it to you.” This isn’t a blank check; it’s a relational assurance. When we abide in Christ, our desires begin to align with His desires. Our prayers begin to reflect His heart. And the Father loves to answer prayers that echo the Son’s will. As 1 John 5:14 reminds us, “If we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.” Abiding shapes requesting. And requesting flows from relationship.

As I walk through this passage today, I realize Jesus isn’t offering a formula—He is offering Himself. To live in His love, to walk in His joy, to lay down our lives in His pattern, to bear fruit from His presence, to pray with His heart—this is the life He invites us into. And it begins not with our ability but with His choice.

Today, as you walk through your own highs and lows, remember that Jesus has chosen you, appointed you, and welcomed you into friendship with Him. You are not striving to earn His love; you are learning to live in it.

A Blessing for the Journey

May the Lord Jesus Christ, who has chosen you and called you His friend, draw you close to His heart today. May His love surround you, His joy steady you, and His Word guide you. As you walk through the highs and lows of this day, may you abide fully in His presence and bear fruit that reflects His beauty and grace. And may you find in Him not only a Savior but a Friend who walks every step beside you.

Related Reading:

A helpful article on abiding in Christ can be found at Crosswalk:
https://www.crosswalk.com/faith/spiritual-life/what-does-it-mean-to-abide-in-christ.html

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